Lately, I have been letting anxiety get the best of me, and I have not been able to live in the moment.
In addition, It is difficult to know myself in a state of anxiety. And, In this season of winter, I also feel lonely and strongly wish for wish fulfillment.
However, when wishes come true it is usually when I do not think about such things and just act positively.
However, when wishes come true it is usually when I do not think about such things and just act positively.
At first, I would like to introduce you a book.
I have some recommendations for all men to read. It is called “I USED TO BE A MISERABLE F*CK” by John Kim.
If you are a man, you have fun reading this book. It’s a book that talks about changing from a boy to become a man through his own experiences.
For men, just getting older does not change the fundamentals.
Some people are like children at any age.
However, I believe that one day we have to change our way of thinking.
If we as men want to leave offspring, we cannot remain in the mindset of children in order to protect our partners.
It does not mean that we have to lose our playful mindset. But there will always be a time when we have to become so-called men.
Because a women need a real Men, and it need to change for their own sake and for their partners.
And Actually the women need to accept that. Some women are not ready yet for that too.
The time to change is when you know yourself.
It is at a certain point that a man must realize his own weakness. And to change into a real man, he must accept his weakness anyway and have a mindset of not caring.
You must stop caring about everything, no matter how dangerous or unpleasant the situation.
For example, boys care about everything, even if it is a small thing.
Are you trying to care about your fashion sense to those around you? Or hairstyles, how much money you have, and what you like to do.
Are you acting according to others, neglecting the choices you have to make for yourself?
When a boy turns into a man. You need to think about who you are as a person.
You need to be clear about what you like to eat and what you want to do in life.
When you realize the best of you, You can change at any time.
After all, living a life in your own way is probably the simplest and easiest way to express yourself.
So, That’s why I wear a blue bucket that most people wouldn’t wear and my favorite strong-smelling perfume to go out for a beer and talk to people, not just women.
I believe that expressing yourself is the only way to change from a boy to a man.
You can wear what you like, even if you think it’s strange.
Eat the food you want to eat.
Go where you want to go.
I think this is what men need to do nowadays.
I would like to share my thoughts with all the men who are being misled by women.
Someone whose Life is not fun, keep it simple. And do what you want to do without worrying about what others think.
I’m sure you’ll find that by doing what you want to do when you want to do it.
And you’ll be able to do what you couldn’t do before because you were too worried about other people (girlfriends, family, friends, people at work, etc.).
You will definitely be able to change.
So I thought, “Heal yourself today.” And “Live in the moment.”
Sexual desire, desire to sleep, and appetite are truly indispensable desires.
But at the same time, I think they also have a magical element that can destroy us if we have too many of them.
If we could control our desires, wouldn’t life be easier? I think the answer is Yes.
I was thinking all the time that if we could control our greed, it would make our lives easier or something more to become a richer life.
There is a psychology that Freud solves, that personality is formed by sexual desire, and it is indeed sexual desire and a very great desire.
It is not the only reason why men do all the things they do. But they have them in order to make women feel good about themselves.
The ordained Buddhists and Christian gurus are very stoic in their sexual behavior. But it is necessary for everyone?
I have decided to aim for something in the middle.
Because religion and teachings are wonderful, and there are many elements to take in, and I always learn from them.
But I have recently realized, as I have been transcribing my thoughts and outputting them in this way on my blog. That I have been thinking of all the external information elements from religious or someone’s opinion from internets are not a match for me.
I mean that something is still don’t know all me myself with my potential. That is why all the external information elements doesn’t match for me. And It is not maybe for every single people too.
For example,
I have read a lot of information on the Internet that says;
If you do this, you will gain muscle.
When you do this then you will be popular.
If you work hard more and more, you will get more money.
When you do this, you will be happy.
Thankfully, it has become very easy for me to receive knowledge that I didn’t even know existed.
But on the other hand, it can also lead you astray.
I don’t really know if the information is right for me or not.
If you want to know it, then You have to actually try it out.
Eventually, you have to make changes and rethink things in your own way with it.
It is very low-risk to try to follow someone else and imitate them.
But it is not 100% correct in the end.
No matter what the great man teaches, there are certain things that you have to do.
“You have to actually do this.” or “If you do it this way, it will work.” There is no such thing in this world.
It is all up to you to make your own choices and that is the most important thing.
And as a result, to be in the middle.
Not too much, but not enough.
But not enough is not fun either.
Too much love is too heavy for the other person, too little love is too boring for the other person.
If you have too much sexual desire, you will commit a crime, and if you have too little, you will become a man who cannot express his love.
Too little or too much appetite is detrimental to health.
If you have too much for sleep, your body will go crazy, and if you don’t sleep, your head will go crazy.
Think of it this way, I thought, “Ah, the middle is good.”
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all about balance.
Balance is very important. not for everyone but most of all people will keep balance is good.
The best position for me is in the middle.
It is neither right-leaning or left-leaning.
This is just my story, and it may not apply to everyone.
I am a person who moves like an animal, developing my own sensibility and controlling greed with human reason.
By doing so I am excited every day.
Since I learned that, I like myself more. I feel better than ever.
The images are very beautiful and the story is very exciting.
I do believe that most people watch this movie but If you have not seen this movie, I definitely recommend it.
The world we live in is a world where maybe the world we live in is not real or realistic at all, but something created by someone else. That was a great conception of the movie.
I thought that It may be something that is created by someone else in our world too. There is something about psychology and brain function that interests me.
So something that I felt through this film.
The scenes we see in our daily life, such as the smell of a flower, the sound of a river, the warmth of a human touch. From these things, we can feel fear, anxiety, joy, and excitement.
The brain interprets all these things as good or bad, and makes us feel them.
I realized that if my brain is fatigued, the wonderful scenery and music I am seeing now will not look so beautiful, nor will I perceive it as good music.
Sometimes I feel tired.
I have so much to do, but suddenly I feel unmotivated.
I wish I could just quit. But in most situations, it is not so easy to just quite. I think it is the same for everyone.
Work and school come even if you don’t want them to.
Childcare, daily chores, and the daily routine that you have set for yourself.
All of these things have to be completed in a day, and they go on day after day.
If you want to adapt to society, you can’t just stay in the mountains for the rest of your life.
However, for most of people that you can’t just stay in the mountains for the rest of your life.
So, what should we do?
It’s all about giving your brain a break, even if it’s just for an hour or a half hour.
It is to give your brain a rest.
You can train your brain by resting it after you use it.
Make a strategy to make a task you don’t like fun.
We cannot control what happens around us.
So, if we first train our brain to give it a break and give it good instructions.
You will feel everything in your own good direction.
We believe that the brain, organs, and muscles can all be trained.
If any part of the body is overused, it must be rested or it will break down.
Just as we all have different values.
Some people are moved by the beauty and strength of a flower just by looking at it, while others are not moved by the beauty and strength of a flower just by looking at it.
Others feel that it is just a sad creature that will soon wither and die.
I don’t think we need to be optimistic about everything. But we can at least try to make ourselves suffer so much that our brains.
If your brain is so fatigued that you have to stop working. And it would be better to sleep or meditate to rest your brain first, and then proceed.
Also, if you feel tired and unmotivated, it is effective to go outside.
How much rest is enough depends on the person. But in my case, just thinking about what I am thinking about in my life. And updating my blog like this is usually enough to relieve my fatigue.
I don’t think about the structure of the content.
I just write what I want to write naturally. It is because I am able to be so natural in my life and enjoy every day.
With these activities, I am able to train my brain, body, my senses, and my mind.
Once again to say, I am able to enjoy every day of my life.
I believe that living slowly and at my own pace
life will be richer.
Like in the Matrix. I will be able to live my life at my own pace, even when things happen that are far beyond my imagination.
I will be me, and I will be able to do things and make things happen.
And to believe that many things are possible and achievable.
Believing in myself is the most important thing.
I am glad that I was able to see a movie I saw a long time ago from a different perspective.
This time of year is always so hectic that it’s hard to relax. Because I find myself a little frustrated.
I know that I am not the only one who is frustrated and I have come to think that it is not only me. And I feel that everyone’s mood is a little different from before.
Since the restrictions on various things caused by the coronavirus, or lately people worry about recession.
I think that the economic change has affected people’s moods.
For example, the mood of the people who would have been able to keep their shops open without the coronavirus.
Some people would have been able to keep their stores open if not for the coronavirus.
Now, some people who can’t go to work anymore. We don’t go out to eat with friends as much anymore.
We can no longer do the things I used to be able to do because our situation is always changing somehow.
This is very stressful.
Actually, I broke my leg a few years ago. I was very cautious of others, irritated with myself.
It was a very difficult time for me.
Speaking of inconvenient and difficult times, recently I feel that I have developed a distance from people.
Because I had to get away from people at a distance of 6feet.
At the time, I greeted my neighbors much less frequently each time I passed them.
With my mask and sunglasses (glasses) on, I can’t see their smiles or their physiognomy.
I am a worrier who asks how they are doing before I speak to them.
It is more difficult than before to initiate communication.
I think it has already become difficult to recognize who the other person is.
We tend to remember people by sight.
People with glasses and masks, I myself wear sunglasses and a mask. So, they frequently don’t even recognize me.
And I feel that the distance between us is gradually growing, like a wall.
What I am trying to say is I really think that I am a very social animal.
I have found myself in need of relationships with people because of these small differences.
When I was a child, my parents told me that I had always been very shy.
I think it was around junior high school and high school that I became more sociable, as if I had changed.
But this Corona experience showed me that my roots have not changed.
I travel, eat, and do everything alone.
I know that my time is very important.
Frankly, it is a very enjoyable time.
And I don’t want to belong to a society that forces me to be in sync with others.
I think everyone has the desire to be needed or wanted by someone. But some people, like me, have a hard time trusting others.
A long-time friend of mine told me that when we get deep into a relationship, he can see 20% or so of a dark side to me.
He said that he couldn’t talk about it to me. Because he thought maybe it was about not wanting to be touched for me and He knew it was my habit of disliking and distrusting people who forced me to break that boundary.
I thought it came out and made it difficult for me to relate well to people.
That may sound like a shortcoming, but it is a part of who I am and I can’t throw it away.
However, I have come to realize that even if I try to force myself to trust people by pretending to be someone I am not, my tension won’t last, and in any case, in the end, I will be hazy.
In the past, I used to hide it and treat everyone cheerfully, responding to everyone in all directions.
But recently, I can’t do it in this pandemic and totally different circumstances, or I don’t have the energy to do it, or the other person doesn’t react well.
I sometimes felt that I was not cheerful, that I was not like myself.
But wait. I realized that I used to feel that I was not very active in talking, and that it was too much trouble to talk to my classmates during breaks at school.
I was the kind of weirdo who would sleep alone in the bathroom sink during school breaks because I didn’t want to talk to my classmates.
When I was in London for my internship.
He was always out of the group and wandered around by himself.
I used to annoy the teachers. So I wondered where my sociability had come from until a couple of years ago.
It came from the people around me who trusted me. The people around me who were making me feel open that way were the ones who were making me feel that way.
I realized that I was being sociable because of the people around me who made me feel that way, and because they did the same.
It was not that I was social, but that I and the people around me were relaxed.
Now, there is not enough room for everyone due to many things.
So the strange distance between us is understandable.
Things don’t go well with the people around us.
I don’t feel good about a lot of things.
You don’t have to think that it is because you have changed and are in a very low mood and force yourself to be nice.
You can live your life without forcing yourself to be nice, without forcing yourself to be a good person, without forcing yourself to be a good person on all sides.
I have decided that this is normal. And to stop thinking that there is something wrong with me, that I am wrong. And that eliminating the idea that there is something wrong with me or that it is my fault is the only way.
I am sure that to not pretend it will make my life richer and simpler.
I think it is a natural feeling for a straight male to want to be popular or noticed with women.
There are many strategy books and videos on the market on how to get women to be conscious of you as a man, and I have found myself getting more and more confused as I try to get such information into my brain. You know what I want to say? There are too many techniques in the relationships between men and women.
Until recently, I was very conscious about sex desire, such as masturbating, having sex with random women, watching porn, etc.
I have finally realized that many men fall into this trap and are not seen as men by women, so I thought I would share my experience.
This article is for:
Those who want to be noticed as a man by women.
If you want to have courage and be yourself.
Those who don’t know how to live their lives because of their addiction in their own way.
This is an article for men, but the content will be helpful for women as well.
Men live in an age where we can find a lot of wisdom on the Internet and in books about how to make women more aware of them and attract them.
I am grateful for that. Because all that information came from a man who had experience with women.
Frankly speaking, I think that there is a lot of effective knowledge that can be obtained from such online information. The reason for this is that many people have introduced how to get women to fall for them based on their successful experiences, so I think it’s solid.
The most common ones are; Men should try to ignore their emails, texts, and calls. And make them feel like an unattainable man. Not chasing women.
Women are not interested in what is easy to get, that is obviously so it is definitely effective to increase your value in that way. Actually, from my experience, I wasn’t ready to engage any women before that the women were always chasing me.
However, Sometimes a man is mistaken, because it will not work if he is not interested in them, and if he uses it from the beginning, it will not work. I also made mistakes when I used to play this kind of game in my own relationships.
This does not make women see you as a man because you are looking at the wrong thing. I think that when you are playing games in relationships, then you are not a man anymore.
I understand why you want to have attention from women even if you are playing games. Because we all want to have sex with women. It’s the only way.
I always thought I wanted to have sex with a girl who was cute or interesting. Why not, right? Men always think that with every woman they meet in every situation, maybe. Well, I don’t mean all men, but the men who are not seen as men by women have that kind of brain.
Changing this is critical to becoming a man who is conscious of women.
Even if you don’t say that you are sexually dependent, women already know that you watch porn and masturbate excessively. Even if they don’t know what they actually are doing, they feel it instinctively. Some parts, we are animals.
And If the sexual desire is too strong, Men will not be conscious of other things.
Work is neglected. (And you don’t even realize it)
Watching porn or having erotic fantasies rather than spending time on hobbies or meditation. (Unconsciously)
I immediately imagine erotic fantasies even when reading books, driving a car, whatever you are doing somethings. (Unconsciously)
You can’t study. (Unmotivated)
Even if I go to the gym to do weight training, you can’t concentrate because you’re thinking and looking at women’s buttocks. (well, you will notice this by yourself)
When you see a cute girl, you keep chasing her with your eyes. (This is also unconscious, every time women pass by)
Most of the time, the brain of a sex-crazed man is like this.
This situation is pretty bad.
Before I realized this, eroticism came to me when I meditated(zazen) all that time.
After I realized this, women do not see me as a man because I had an issue in all sexual matters, they knew that what is in my brain, and since this was happening in an unconscious state, I felt that I had to stop this first.
That’s right.
In order to become a man who is conscious of women and attract them, you must change your own brain, not by playing them and controlling them, but first you must change your own sexual awareness of women.
They are not only for giving birth to children and sex.
I understand that it is instinctive to have sexual feelings for women, but when it comes time to do something with a woman, you should just let it out. But, all other times like you are putting them out that are in the wrong place.
Male attraction arises from the fact that the first step is to avoid looking at women as sexual objects as much as possible.
The way to do this is simple.
Stay away from everything that causes sexual desire.
Don’t watch porn, and chase women with your eyes, and don’t look at cute girls on social media, etc. It’s like being a monk. Just do this. Focus on what you do right now. As you do this, it is important to realize how you used to see women only as sexual objects.
Then you will enjoy the time you spend working out. You will be more and more motivated to work, read, do strength training, etc.
As you become less sexually dependent, you will become more aware of other things.
When this happens, gradually more women become aware of you as a man. Women will talk to you. But even then, wait, be a gentleman. That is how you can stop being a man who is confused by sexual desire. And become a real ‘unreachable man’ without having to play the part.
They are capable of feeling it.
Trust women.
Women find a man attractive when he works hard, when he does what he loves, and he pursues his dreams. And we men can focus more and more on ourselves because we are not distracted by women, so we definitely get better results in everything.
It makes your life a hundred times more enjoyable.
Please suppress your immediate desire to be popular by women, and your sexual desire, and spend more time working on yourself.
This is the most powerful way to make women interested and aware of you.
I was lost for quite some time, but I finally came back to the realization that don’t look at women only in terms of sex, and don’t treat them as such. This will increase your attractiveness and make you happier in your life.
I hope this article will be meaningful in your life. We can work together to make you more and more attractive to men!
Having a good coffee at the usual Starbucks will soothe me.
Earlier today. I was suddenly thinking about possibilities. I actually just like this word. We all need some possibility in our life.
Possibility is a state where you are not sure if things are able to do it, but they are probable. I have been able to accomplish many seemingly impossible things. That I have experienced since I was a kid many years ago.
I have made it this far because I have believed in that possibility.
It was my belief in my own potential that led me to leave my hometown.
After I graduate a special school, I moved to live in Tokyo for work when I was 20 years old.
When I left Japan for the U.S., I also wanted to believe in my new possibilities. I enjoyed my time in Tokyo, but I always wondered if there was something more I could do. I always looking for something new with my interests.
But sometimes or somedays, It could find something insides of me. That I didn’t realize it before I came to the U.S. What that is that? I think about the possibility at first, I always get scared to do it. Suddenly, gets anxiety to try new things. I wish I could believe in myself easily, but it can not be sometimes. Because I noticed my problem on my mind.
I wanted to pursue where on earth this came from and what it is. If we don’t solve the problem, we will continue to live in fear of something. I wanted to avoid this.
Nowadays, I am trying to learn a dance such as salsa and bachata.
When I started to learn social dance, at social dance class, I felt fear.
It is “ballroom dancing”, you know what, actually I never see my possibilities with it. My dance is very unsmooth, what the hell beats dancing. I didn’t expect that you should know music at first for the dance.
Ballroom dancing is very difficult for leading ladies, I mean not just that dance. However, besides that, mistakes are usual. It is embarrassing and frustrating.
I wondered if I would ever really be able to dance well. And I became extremely afraid of making mistakes. I noticed that these feelings have been created since I was a kid in Japan.
From my experiences, I tell you this is for sure that., in Japan, you cannot make mistakes.
For example, when you make a mistake in your answer it is not good in class, everyone laughs at you.
It sounds crazy but it is true. If you make a mistake at school, job, or any circumstances, people will blame you for sure. So, I couldn’t make any mistakes in any situation. That was too much pressure every day.
Eventually, I don’t like the education system in Japan for these reasons.
If I express my opinion or do something wrong, people around me get angry or make fun of me.
Once, I tried to have the possibility to have a dream about becoming a soccer player in my childhood.
When I played on a team, I made a mistake. And I gave up on to play on the team. Because I was bullied by my teammates for the reason that I did not play well at games. Very sensitive and fragile in my childhood. I was always behind him my old brother to hide.
After all, I did lose confidence and passion to play soccer. I quit playing completely.
That was a nightmare if only I had believed in my skills and in myself at that time. Things that I would have fought for undaunted.
As a result, I was losing to myself. This is something I still think about even now as an adult, such as trauma. It is a big and they are deep inside of me. I didn’t know how to find it out and resolve.
And every time, I thought that I can’t make a mistake. I say nothing is better to not say any mistaken to people or friends. Even if I had a small things like talking with strangers at a café.
I had a hard time believing in my own potential because of that childhood experience. But I was able to change that, and it started to get better. Because I had a dialogue with myself.
When you can change your mind to recover from your old trauma.
I know it is not easy but there is some possibility.
For example, Let’s go back to your kids’ memories. Maybe you don’t want to remember something but you need to let it go.
Do you remember when you finally learned to ride a bicycle after falling and getting hurt? It is one of making the impossible become the possible which you’ve already did it before. It is not to believe in the impossible at the first place.
But you did to believe yourself in the possible way and keep moving forward.
There are so many things that you did believe in before. That we have challenged ourselves a lot because of it. We must not forget that.
If you have some problem with your past, we must accept these kinds of experiences. The experiences is under the below:
Parents who don’t tolerate mistakes.
Friends who use you or mount you.
The biggest culprit is myself, who created a fear inside of your mind.
That experience is hard. But If you ignore them, it messes up your possibilities again and again. And you are scared of these people who make fun of you with mistakes.
To be honest with you.
My parents are great, but my kids’ experience with bully things was really bad. This has always hindered my potential. And after all, Dancing is really difficult to make it fun while leading with a smile in front of the girls. Because I don’t want people to laugh at me and failed.
My mind is like “I’m afraid”, “how am I not good at it”, “I am pathetic”, and I want to hide myself.
In a relationship, or a work presentation, and at an important game. When the time comes, my heart starts to move fast and my hands start to shake.
As a result, It sucks. So what can we do to eliminate this intention and fear?
This is the only way to think that failure is a possibility.
So let’s fail a lot!
This is the only way to do it. A person feels fear only about 167 milliseconds after seeing or hearing the feared object, and it is transmitted to the brain. Therefore, Avoidance will be difficult. Sorry for that tip.
In actions that would alleviate that deep breathing definitely make you calm. I tried to have a beer before nervousness. But it was a bad idea to make me sleepy and I couldn’t speak well at all. At lease, to try somethings what you can feel well with it.
And you need to know about fear of failure is not a bad thing.
There is no doubt that it reduces our chances. But we have to try not to be afraid of that failure. The way to avoid the fear of failure is to create your experience, patience, and the notion of failure is not bad.
Anyway, in Japan. I have had the experience of being pointed out every time.
I failed at something in several environments. And failure was considered a bad thing. So, I think it is a very difficult task to remove the thorns that are deeply rooted in My heart and mind.
However, do deep breathing with an unconscious mind. Think about yourself what is your strength and importance.
I believe in my own potential. Accepting what I did before that was all I did with me and my possibility. And I am determined to keep on trying.
I believe that it is necessary to believe in myself.
In the beginning of the dance, I believe that fear of failure. I feel like I am getting used to it. And perseverance will increase our potential and help us develop the ability to handle difficult things.
First, we need to fundamentally rethink failure. And let it be input into our brains.
It doesn’t matter if you are not good at it. It is okay to fail. If you get angry at people because of your step is not good at, or if they hate you. It is all good.
Let it go your thought. If they make fun of you, it is okay, do not listen to them what they said to you. Because one day you will be able to do it. You know that. The trick is to keep your distance from those who make fun of you. Because it is very effective.
In fact, I have cut off all relations with people who are mounting me for doing so. Or who deny what I want to do out of the top of their heads. These people are never change to be an angel.
I think this is very important. It is not only to build relationships with people who only say nice things. But also to prevent people from thinking “I can’t do it”.
Things are never impossible. It is possible if you believe in the possibilities and do the research.
I think everyone has felt the difficulty of socializing with others sometimes. Basically, I am loyal, independent. And other sides are selfish and stubborn.
My personality will make it difficult time to accept other people’s advice.
That is so, I feel bad because I cannot take advice from people.
Because I rarely accept advice given to me by others. For that I feel like I don’t have enough room in my heart to accept their opinions. Well, this is my personality. I have a lot of pride and it has something to do with it.
Maybe, when I think someone is right to tell me. But I need to have taken enough time with it. Or the thing is that at least I need to try it first. And eventually, I can accept their positive advice.
Because the person giving the advice does not accept it, especially if it is something that has not been tried and seen, because the advice itself is not accurate.
However, I have a hard time accepting negative advice from anyone.
For example, I decided on new things and purpose. And saying quit a job, go wandering abroad or change my career. I thought this could be a big change in my life. And I know there is always a risk to try new things. I talked about it to my friends and they gave me a negative answer.
Such as he or she advised me not to do that at all even though I’ve never tried it yet. Why they recommended it is not because he or she thinks about my career. It is worthwhile and that it is a waste of time.
Okay, another example here.
I told my friend about my experience of someone who was upset when I warned him or her who was cutting in line. When I told him about it, he said, “That’s because you’ve been licked.” And I was like, “what the hell?” I thought he would be my ally. But I received a negative attitude. And I never tell him something that I thought was a good thing I did in my life or anything.
When I think about my personality deeply, I need to take care of my condition.
I realized that I was uncomfortable with people who had negative opinions.
I was told by people that something I liked or wanted to do then they said that it was wrong. And try to change my opinion which something that they believed. Some people may take it as, “You don’t have to worry about that.” Fundamentally, I don’t think anyone likes to be denied your thoughts.
From my experiences, I once advised an employee. “If you do it that way, it won’t work.” I may have rejected her way of doing things. Because it didn’t work that way. At the time, I remember she cried because she couldn’t do it the same way I did and it wouldn’t work.
I thought my advice was a good thing for her, but it was also my ego.
It was like I wish she’s going to have better sales for her sake. But she didn’t want to be and It was just that I wanted to give advice to her. It is all my perspective that I want to be a good manager for her.
If she wanted to get a reference for my opinions, I should give her. But if I wanted to give it to her, that is controlling her. I learned that from my experience. That is if I think it will be a good thing for people to do what I think but sometimes it goes opposed.
Most of the people who give negative opinions and advice to others are not trying to make the other person feel good. They want to feel good about themselves to change and manipulate us instead.
They are trying to look good for their sake. It may be to defend their position. Even if we don’t notice sometimes that it is to force your own thoughts and feelings on the other person. After she cried, I thought what I did to her was very arrogant to say.
What the other person does not want is not good for them either. What we need to help them is take them so they should think for themselves.
And of course, it is one thing to warn someone about something they should not do. It is such as not keeping a promise or committing a criminal act.
Is it for them to reject your opinion and put your own opinion over theirs?
Something like people have entered your house without your permission. And they suddenly say that it is a horrible painting and deny a picture of your room which is your value. Because they want to tell their worth, and give a shit on you.
Is it really for the other person’s benefit to deny and try to correct things? When we deny someone, it is usually when we cannot accept things as they are.
And at the same time they are not satisfied with themselves. That is why saying something negative gives others a good feel.
I have come to think that what we really need to pay attention to is our own feelings toward the other person.
See things as it is and don’t deny it, let it be. Love shouldn’t hurt.
The same goes for work, friends, and relationships.
It is not real kindness or love to deny or correct someone.
You don’t have to force things to work out.
Just accept the person who they are and don’t control them by your ego. People just need to watch over him or her so that they can live his or her life in his or her own way. If they ask us to help, then we help them with our knowledge, love and forgiveness.
I think that is the best thing to do.
After you can follow this to not judge them at first point. You can really help them with your kids, your partner, your friends, and all of the people around you. It needs a patient.
You know we sometimes completely don’t notice what we give to someone’s feel harsh. I saw so many bad accidents to suicidal news because social network destroy them value and what they believed. Someone just doesn’t care what to say to people and they don’t take any responsibility for that.
Please note that under below the word:
Perhaps my words or yours may make a person into a worthless person.
Maybe my words or you may be making a person sad.
probably my words or yours are killing people.
Words, no matter how small, can destroy self-esteem. We should be careful to use our words. Even if it is a good thing for your friends, it is maybe not for them sometimes. They don’t want to hear your advice or opinions.
We are all very sensitive and vulnerable.
Recently, I was asked a question about what it means not to judge people. My answer was about “not judging people based on what they have.” But now I changed and it was “not to deny people’s personality and accept all.”
We should protect our own hearts and thoughts. If we are not protecting at all, someone knows it and manipulated you. You probably need to consider the other person’s intention to not give your opinion in the first place. And you do not need to be forcibly grateful for them.
What you really need to be is what you really need to do is that don’t be distracted by things like, “I should be thankful,” or “I’ll be happy while I’m being told.
When you give advice to others, you need to help them when they ask for it without first thinking of yourself.
Whether at work or in love, you can enrich the people around you and your own heart by first understanding them and not imposing only your own opinion on them.
I hope this article will help your relationships, work environments, and love your kids.
I was always looking for something to be satisfied with.
Such as,
Having a lot of friends.
Having a girlfriend who does not pretend to be a lonely person.
Earning a lot of money.
A luxury car.
Having some events with famous people, etc.
But, I thought I couldn’t be satisfied with whatever I have. The expression “satisfaction” may sound a little bit strange.
However, I had learned something from ‘William Ury’s book’ that I was reading a bit ago. So I decided to talk about it.
How to be happy is changing your perspective.
After all, the best and worst situations are depending on from person to person’s minds.
How about this situation with your mind below?
Normally, People think this way. If you won the lottery one million dollars, It’s a very lucky situation that you think. On the other hand, If you lose all your money then you will feel very unsatisfied in life.
Is it right in general?
Basically, the standard of unhappiness value and unsatisfaction is depending on your perspective by human society values.
I truly think that. With another examples,
Married people are happy. But People who aren’t married yet are not happy. I thought so like that before.
If the man has a lot of friends are having a party every day. That looks like a cool guy, very valuable. On the other hand, the man who doesn’t have a friend and a wife. That is like looking like a loser from all the information in our society.
I mean that there is a society making me think so. It is 100 % for sure related.
Lately, Living in our society. It is giving us so much information. Television, social networks, and the Internet are making our minds attacked by a disease. Such as anxiety, fear, and anger. It makes complicated things that make us happy. I also felt that the right brain. With the five senses, the power might be weakened.
Sometimes, I feel worried about tomorrow, future . It is not focused on how to live now.
In this condition under the circumstances. I cannot really enjoy the inspiration of the music or the vibe of the scenery.
Well, surely we need money. And a job is important too when thinking about our future goals. Because all that we have bills for everything to live. For rent, gas, food, etc.
Maybe you completely don’t care about money. Or a job for the future. You will probably lose a job first. And then the money is all gone. After that, the wife and kids leave you. And lose your motivation to live your life.
Eventually, you’re thinking of choosing life, Death or alive.
Or, You can be chosen forever alone until you die.
However, the standard value by itself depends on the person.
Values differ depending on where you were born. And the environment. But the best thing is knowing other perspectives.
I’m glad to learn different life values in the United States now. I am feeling cultivated new in my perspective. Because If I didn’t leave my country, I would never know others’ perspectives. To how they live their life with their values.
There are many more common senses in the world. But even those common senses are not for all. I realized that it is very important to have my perspective. With not the social value.
Believe it.
And be a person who is a man of principle.
I feel that it is the most necessary thing in our society now.
Having your own perspective. It means not to be a selfish person. We need to think about our value ourselves. And our thoughts first.
To consider others’ thoughts too. It can take good care of yourself. At the same time love others. How to live better with it is not judging the values on the other person. And either not living in the values of others.
Please help yourself first too. And not just help others, you need to take care of yourself too. I think that is about living from your perspective. And to create a strong mind by believing in yourself.
Better life comes with don’t care of the social values.
No Job, No wife, No money, No house, No car. So, then I am an unhappy person. That those are not necessary thoughts.
You’re not a person who is not loved by anyone because you cannot get married, that is not true.
Life-changing with your perspective.
Why do they feel anxiety? It’s because we’re always looking for something.
Some exciting information about our needs. They keep messing up our brain. And we think about what we are missing right now. And they want us to buy products, spending more money.
Because the brain makes us think so, every time I read a book, I get some inspiration.
Happiness is decided by ourselves.
We can change that at any time, whatever the circumstances we are, it’s all up to us.
Life is very benevolent.
It doesn’t have to feel satisfying. Because it is never the end what if we have or don’t have with any circumstances. Just always focus on yourself. Calm down by thinking about things deeply.
I thought about everything that it doesn’t matter how much money I have. Also about having a lot of friends or not. I just need to live in peace and calm from my own perspective.
How satisfied are you?
That question is what my friends asked me before. I remember that we were talking about happiness levels. As I said, the evaluation of myself was very strict and low. It was like I thought I answered about 30% with my satisfaction in my life.
At the time, my thoughts were an evaluation of social values. It must have been a happiness level of social standards.
But It didn’t matter by now. Because I realized that I was doing something meaningless to think of myself as unhappy.
It depends on my thoughts. Now we can be happy from this moment.
It doesn’t matter who we are. We are the one and only. Well now, I am sitting on the couch and the smell of coffee makes me feel so good.
Somehow my favorite music is flowing from behind my head at the same time. It’s a very luxurious time. To use your five senses to enrich your life.
And I used to have a patient to deal with muscle pain in my back that I have never experienced before.
I am kind of feeling good right now. Because I felt like improving my punching skill a little bit with learning the correct form day by day.
About yesterday, I went out to a restaurant with my friend who is religious with Christian. At that time, he told me a theory from the Bible, and he said that like,,
If you believe the words you say by yourself, you will be a success with it.
However, I arbitrarily interpreted the word as “love and believe in yourself.” for my concern.
Unfortunately, sometimes I can’t believe the words which I say to myself. For example, I will be a rich guy, buy a big house, and have a wonderful wife and make a wonderful family. Those words are what I used to say a long time ago.
And I recently said to myself that I just want to feel free to live with a little money. That goal is big in my mind now.
Hey, me man, wait!
Before You (me) said that it has completely different goals before that! ( my conscience.)
My friend who is a guy told me a quote of success. He married. And have a wonderful wife and two children. Recently, he seems very motivated. Because I just established a company. On the other hand, I also felt that stress from him was hidden in the situation where he needed a lot of money to spend.
He said to me that “I want to be a rich man.”
However, I also felt that he wants to be a success.
After dinner with him, I was thinking to myself.
I wondered if I believed in what I was saying before for my future or my dream and my mind was messing about last night. Somehow, I was wondering if I’m just escaping from difficult dreams to an easier way of life.
As explained in the greed of the Buddhist language, and I realize that the desire for a big is evil and it is good to be content with what is now.
Now, I am learning Zen and meditate myself often. And why am I trying to get the opposite idea from what I used to think,,.
That conflict with it, and it is painful.
When I talked with him about a new business and talked about money, I just didn’t feel like it. Not long ago, I was actively trying to incorporate things that seemed to be profitable.
Where did my feelings go at that time?
I’m sure that I felt like he looked like me before somewhere, comparing all of myself in the past and ideal future with me now.
And I was wondering if I should have been more like having a great life than now. Currently, I have no children, no wife who promises the future. So I don’t need a big house for now.
However, when I thought this was good, compared with my friends, and my old obsession of I, It feels like starting “Moyamoya”. (a Japanese word that means I feel uneasy.)
For all the reason, It seems like I haven’t learned at all yet. However, I started to think that it was at the stage where I was trying to live in the “correct form for me”, little by little.
Just say a word what you want to be and believe it.
No need to be avaricious with having a big money, a lovely wife, and a beautiful house.
You just need to accept what you have now, no matter how much you need it.
And believe what you.
The Bible’s theory and Buddhist’s word “greed” are a completely different way of telling us but I felt the meaning the same. And It’s good to just believe in yourself now without being shaken. It seems simple and surprisingly difficult.
However, combine both, I wanted to acquire a way of thinking that I need now.
Like, something like back muscle pain, when you do something right posture or think differently, and change your mind. It’s always painful somewhere. And it is very easy to deny yourself and suffer from thinking about what is wrong now.
Up until yesterday, I’ve been using my unexpected thoughts that I hadn’t even thought about “accept hardships.” then, we regard it as growth and know our true selves.
I don’t know that if life has the right answer.
But once again.
Just simply love and believe in yourself more, and I can survive with these words in my life.
