Category: Mental Health

I think everyone has felt the difficulty of socializing with others sometimes. Basically, I am loyal, independent. And other sides are selfish and stubborn.

My personality will make it difficult time to accept other people’s advice.

That is so, I feel bad because I cannot take advice from people.

Because I rarely accept advice given to me by others. For that I feel like I don’t have enough room in my heart to accept their opinions. Well, this is my personality. I have a lot of pride and it has something to do with it.

Maybe, when I think someone is right to tell me. But I need to have taken enough time with it. Or the thing is that at least I need to try it first. And eventually, I can accept their positive advice.

Because the person giving the advice does not accept it, especially if it is something that has not been tried and seen, because the advice itself is not accurate.

However, I have a hard time accepting negative advice from anyone.

For example, I decided on new things and purpose. And saying quit a job, go wandering abroad or change my career. I thought this could be a big change in my life. And I know there is always a risk to try new things. I talked about it to my friends and they gave me a negative answer.

Such as he or she advised me not to do that at all even though I’ve never tried it yet. Why they recommended it is not because he or she thinks about my career. It is worthwhile and that it is a waste of time.

Okay, another example here.

I told my friend about my experience of someone who was upset when I warned him or her who was cutting in line. When I told him about it, he said, “That’s because you’ve been licked.” And I was like, “what the hell?” I thought he would be my ally. But I received a negative attitude. And I never tell him something that I thought was a good thing I did in my life or anything.

When I think about my personality deeply, I need to take care of my condition.

I realized that I was uncomfortable with people who had negative opinions.

I was told by people that something I liked or wanted to do then they said that it was wrong. And try to change my opinion which something that they believed. Some people may take it as, “You don’t have to worry about that.” Fundamentally, I don’t think anyone likes to be denied your thoughts.

From my experiences, I once advised an employee. “If you do it that way, it won’t work.” I may have rejected her way of doing things. Because it didn’t work that way. At the time, I remember she cried because she couldn’t do it the same way I did and it wouldn’t work.

I thought my advice was a good thing for her, but it was also my ego.

It was like I wish she’s going to have better sales for her sake. But she didn’t want to be and It was just that I wanted to give advice to her. It is all my perspective that I want to be a good manager for her.

If she wanted to get a reference for my opinions, I should give her. But if I wanted to give it to her, that is controlling her. I learned that from my experience. That is if I think it will be a good thing for people to do what I think but sometimes it goes opposed.

Most of the people who give negative opinions and advice to others are not trying to make the other person feel good. They want to feel good about themselves to change and manipulate us instead.

They are trying to look good for their sake. It may be to defend their position. Even if we don’t notice sometimes that it is to force your own thoughts and feelings on the other person. After she cried, I thought what I did to her was very arrogant to say.

What the other person does not want is not good for them either. What we need to help them is take them so they should think for themselves.

And of course, it is one thing to warn someone about something they should not do. It is such as not keeping a promise or committing a criminal act.

Is it for them to reject your opinion and put your own opinion over theirs?

Something like people have entered your house without your permission. And they suddenly say that it is a horrible painting and deny a picture of your room which is your value. Because they want to tell their worth, and give a shit on you.

Is it really for the other person’s benefit to deny and try to correct things? When we deny someone, it is usually when we cannot accept things as they are.

And at the same time they are not satisfied with themselves. That is why saying something negative gives others a good feel.

I have come to think that what we really need to pay attention to is our own feelings toward the other person.

See things as it is and don’t deny it, let it be. Love shouldn’t hurt.

The same goes for work, friends, and relationships.

It is not real kindness or love to deny or correct someone.

You don’t have to force things to work out.

Just accept the person who they are and don’t control them by your ego. People just need to watch over him or her so that they can live his or her life in his or her own way. If they ask us to help, then we help them with our knowledge, love and forgiveness.

I think that is the best thing to do.

After you can follow this to not judge them at first point. You can really help them with your kids, your partner, your friends, and all of the people around you. It needs a patient.

You know we sometimes completely don’t notice what we give to someone’s feel harsh. I saw so many bad accidents to suicidal news because social network destroy them value and what they believed. Someone just doesn’t care what to say to people and they don’t take any responsibility for that.

Please note that under below the word:

• Perhaps my words or yours may make a person into a worthless person.
• Maybe my words or you may be making a person sad.
• probably my words or yours are killing people.

Words, no matter how small, can destroy self-esteem. We should be careful to use our words. Even if it is a good thing for your friends, it is maybe not for them sometimes. They don’t want to hear your advice or opinions.

We are all very sensitive and vulnerable.

Recently, I was asked a question about what it means not to judge people. My answer was about “not judging people based on what they have.” But now I changed and it was “not to deny people’s personality and accept all.”

We should protect our own hearts and thoughts. If we are not protecting at all, someone knows it and manipulated you. You probably need to consider the other person’s intention to not give your opinion in the first place. And you do not need to be forcibly grateful for them.

What you really need to be is what you really need to do is that don’t be distracted by things like, “I should be thankful,” or “I’ll be happy while I’m being told.

When you give advice to others, you need to help them when they ask for it without first thinking of yourself.

Whether at work or in love, you can enrich the people around you and your own heart by first understanding them and not imposing only your own opinion on them.

I hope this article will help your relationships, work environments, and love your kids.

Thank you for reading.

To related an article: Love is Knowing True Hearts with All Their Hearts

How satisfied are you with your life?

I was always looking for something to be satisfied with.

Such as,

• Having a lot of friends.
• Having a girlfriend who does not pretend to be a lonely person.
• Earning a lot of money.
• A luxury car.
• Having some events with famous people, etc.

But, I thought I couldn’t be satisfied with whatever I have. The expression “satisfaction” may sound a little bit strange.

However, I had learned something from ‘William Ury’s book’ that I was reading a bit ago. So I decided to talk about it.

How to be happy is changing your perspective.

After all, the best and worst situations are depending on from person to person’s minds.

How about this situation with your mind below?

Normally, People think this way. If you won the lottery one million dollars, It’s a very lucky situation that you think. On the other hand, If you lose all your money then you will feel very unsatisfied in life.

Is it right in general?

Basically, the standard of unhappiness value and unsatisfaction is depending on your perspective by human society values.

I truly think that. With another examples,

Married people are happy. But People who aren’t married yet are not happy. I thought so like that before.

If the man has a lot of friends are having a party every day. That looks like a cool guy, very valuable. On the other hand, the man who doesn’t have a friend and a wife. That is like looking like a loser from all the information in our society.

I mean that there is a society making me think so. It is 100 % for sure related.

Lately, Living in our society. It is giving us so much information. Television, social networks, and the Internet are making our minds attacked by a disease. Such as anxiety, fear, and anger. It makes complicated things that make us happy. I also felt that the right brain. With the five senses, the power might be weakened.

Sometimes, I feel worried about tomorrow, future . It is not focused on how to live now.

In this condition under the circumstances. I cannot really enjoy the inspiration of the music or the vibe of the scenery.

Well, surely we need money. And a job is important too when thinking about our future goals. Because all that we have bills for everything to live. For rent, gas, food, etc.

Maybe you completely don’t care about money. Or a job for the future. You will probably lose a job first. And then the money is all gone. After that, the wife and kids leave you. And lose your motivation to live your life.

Eventually, you’re thinking of choosing life, Death or alive.

Or, You can be chosen forever alone until you die.

However, the standard value by itself depends on the person.

Values ​​differ depending on where you were born. And the environment. But the best thing is knowing other perspectives.

I’m glad to learn different life values in the United States now. I am feeling cultivated new in my perspective. Because If I didn’t leave my country, I would never know others’ perspectives. To how they live their life with their values.

There are many more common senses in the world. But even those common senses are not for all. I realized that it is very important to have my perspective. With not the social value.

Believe it.

And be a person who is a man of principle.

I feel that it is the most necessary thing in our society now.

Having your own perspective. It means not to be a selfish person. We need to think about our value ourselves. And our thoughts first.

To consider others’ thoughts too. It can take good care of yourself. At the same time love others. How to live better with it is not judging the values ​​on the other person. And either not living in the values ​​of others.

Please help yourself first too. And not just help others, you need to take care of yourself too. I think that is about living from your perspective. And to create a strong mind by believing in yourself.

Better life comes with don’t care of the social values.

Focus on you now.

No Job, No wife, No money, No house, No car. So, then I am an unhappy person. That those are not necessary thoughts.

You’re not a person who is not loved by anyone because you cannot get married, that is not true.

Life-changing with your perspective.

Why do they feel anxiety? It’s because we’re always looking for something.

Some exciting information about our needs. They keep messing up our brain. And we think about what we are missing right now. And they want us to buy products, spending more money.

Because the brain makes us think so, every time I read a book, I get some inspiration.

Happiness is decided by ourselves.

We can change that at any time, whatever the circumstances we are, it’s all up to us.

Life is very benevolent.

It doesn’t have to feel satisfying. Because it is never the end what if we have or don’t have with any circumstances. Just always focus on yourself. Calm down by thinking about things deeply.

I thought about everything that it doesn’t matter how much money I have. Also about having a lot of friends or not. I just need to live in peace and calm from my own perspective.

How satisfied are you?

That question is what my friends asked me before. I remember that we were talking about happiness levels. As I said, the evaluation of myself was very strict and low. It was like I thought I answered about 30% with my satisfaction in my life.

At the time, my thoughts were an evaluation of social values. It must have been a happiness level of social standards.

But It didn’t matter by now. Because I realized that I was doing something meaningless to think of myself as unhappy.

It depends on my thoughts. Now we can be happy from this moment.

It doesn’t matter who we are. We are the one and only. Well now, I am sitting on the couch and the smell of coffee makes me feel so good.

Somehow my favorite music is flowing from behind my head at the same time. It’s a very luxurious time. To use your five senses to enrich your life.

Enjoy, Thank your reading.

To related this article: How to live better, love and believe in yourself

Since I started boxing, I feel better than ever.

And I used to have a patient to deal with muscle pain in my back that I have never experienced before.

I am kind of feeling good right now. Because I felt like improving my punching skill a little bit with learning the correct form day by day.

About yesterday, I went out to a restaurant with my friend who is religious with Christian. At that time, he told me a theory from the Bible, and he said that like,,

If you believe the words you say by yourself, you will be a success with it.

However, I arbitrarily interpreted the word as “love and believe in yourself.” for my concern.

Unfortunately, sometimes I can’t believe the words which I say to myself. For example, I will be a rich guy, buy a big house, and have a wonderful wife and make a wonderful family. Those words are what I used to say a long time ago.

And I recently said to myself that I just want to feel free to live with a little money. That goal is big in my mind now.

Hey, me man, wait!

Before You (me) said that it has completely different goals before that! ( my conscience.)

My friend who is a guy told me a quote of success. He married. And have a wonderful wife and two children. Recently, he seems very motivated. Because I just established a company. On the other hand, I also felt that stress from him was hidden in the situation where he needed a lot of money to spend.

He said to me that “I want to be a rich man.”

However, I also felt that he wants to be a success.

After dinner with him, I was thinking to myself.

I wondered if I believed in what I was saying before for my future or my dream and my mind was messing about last night. Somehow, I was wondering if I’m just escaping from difficult dreams to an easier way of life.

As explained in the greed of the Buddhist language, and I realize that the desire for a big is evil and it is good to be content with what is now.

Now, I am learning Zen and meditate myself often. And why am I trying to get the opposite idea from what I used to think,,.

That conflict with it, and it is painful.

When I talked with him about a new business and talked about money, I just didn’t feel like it. Not long ago, I was actively trying to incorporate things that seemed to be profitable.

Where did my feelings go at that time?

I’m sure that I felt like he looked like me before somewhere, comparing all of myself in the past and ideal future with me now.

And I was wondering if I should have been more like having a great life than now. Currently, I have no children, no wife who promises the future. So I don’t need a big house for now.

However, when I thought this was good, compared with my friends, and my old obsession of I, It feels like starting “Moyamoya”. (a Japanese word that means I feel uneasy.)

For all the reason, It seems like I haven’t learned at all yet. However, I started to think that it was at the stage where I was trying to live in the “correct form for me”, little by little.

love and believe in yourself

Just say a word what you want to be and believe it.

No need to be avaricious with having a big money, a lovely wife, and a beautiful house.

You just need to accept what you have now, no matter how much you need it.

And believe what you.

The Bible’s theory and Buddhist’s word “greed” are a completely different way of telling us but I felt the meaning the same. And It’s good to just believe in yourself now without being shaken. It seems simple and surprisingly difficult.

However, combine both, I wanted to acquire a way of thinking that I need now.

Like, something like back muscle pain, when you do something right posture or think differently, and change your mind. It’s always painful somewhere. And it is very easy to deny yourself and suffer from thinking about what is wrong now.

Up until yesterday, I’ve been using my unexpected thoughts that I hadn’t even thought about “accept hardships.” then, we regard it as growth and know our true selves.

I don’t know that if life has the right answer.

But once again.

Just simply love and believe in yourself more, and I can survive with these words in my life.

Thank you for reading.

Related to my article :We often give-up, Why? and how to get out

Some time ago, an old friend of mine asked me for advice at work.

He was surrounded by the smartest colleagues from Tokyo University which is the best university in Japan. He seemed to lose a little confidence.

When you are surrounded by a lot of great smartest people, your self-worthlessness goes down when you feel you have not enough.

Well, it also goes down when you look at social networking sites such as Instagram, TikTok etc., too much. Because everyone compares themselves to others.

It’s not uncommon for people to compare themselves and feel their spirits plummet.

When you feel down, what you need is: “Mental strength.”

Why I think so because all that happened to me as below in my mind:

• Compared to others, and then “I’m lame”.
• I was rejected from something, I don’t deserve to live.
• My company management is not going well, I want to quit my life with death.

Our world is very mean and life is full of things that can go wrong.

You may think that you are not supposed to be mentally strong under such circumstances. However, it all happened to beat us.

It is precisely because of this situation that you need to make a change within yourself.

The methods of “mental strengthening” are:

Eliminate the time of self-denial.

Many people spend a lot of time thinking, “Why can’t I do well?”, when they have some problems in their life. That they hurt themselves mentally.

Let’s stop this. The way to stop is very simple. First, you must learn to shift your thinking.

For example:

• Exercising or weight training.
• Meditate.
• Play a guitar or other musical instrument. (Hobbies, etc., that you can immerse yourself in.)
• Playing video games.( For Fun)
• Talking with friends. (Conversation with focus. The point is not to let the information in question grow inside you = stop, let it stay, don’t let it get any bigger.)

When your brain is thinking something about this or that, you can only do so by concentrating.

The key is to do something that will change your thinking about the problem or do not think about the problem at all.

After you do that thoughts can be changed. It is important to realize it.

The brain ‘understands’ that there is a time when what you were thinking about earlier is no longer bothering you because you are concentrating on something else.

Simply by exercising, you are saying that your worries will go away. Worry is born from thinking about this and that on your own.

You can realize this.

If you can use it well, you may be able to know yourself by worrying a lot, but when I worry, I hit rock bottom and time just goes on and on.

There were many times when I was so distressed that I shut myself in my shell and could not take action.

However, no matter how much you worry, you will never become mentally strong.

And “change” will not come on its own.

Go somewhere and Take action before worrying.

By taking action, you can create a change point in your life. It takes time to see immediate results from taking action, however, once you notice the changes in your brain, you will gradually stop thinking about your problems if you take action.

In fact, it is that simple.

You will realize that the longer you think negatively, the more anxious you will become. Change your thinking from negative to positive.

You may tell me that I find it difficult to change your thinking now. If you take “action” immediately after worrying for 5 seconds, do it this way, then you will realize that you can change your thinking right away. When you are worried again for a moment, take action as soon as possible.

Since I came to the U.S., I have experienced that I have been mentally damaged by “mean people who don’t like others,” “language and cultural differences,” “alienation,” and so on. I experienced many failures, and there was a time when I thought I was worthless compared to those around me.

I was thinking a bad mind all that time as below;

• To think who I am short, thin, and a loser.
• No adaptation in the U.S society.
• I can’t emulate the cool style of Americans.
• He (my colleague) is more successful. I envy them.
• I can’t communicate in English and not confident at all.
• Feel unfavorable because I can’t get a seat of my choice in a restaurant.

If you continue to think negative thoughts like these (self-denial) every day, you will become depressed, and these thoughts will only increase your worries and complexes.

If you turn this thought around, you can realize who you want to be.

In fact, those negative thoughts that the goal or purpose is hidden;

• Challenge to make your body bigger, then start some exercise and weight training.
• I can’t have the American style, but I want to be cool with Japanese’s style. Then I can be fashionable.
• Be recognized by your coworkers. I don’t fit in here then just start a business on my own.
• I want to improve my English, so find a language partner or study up more.
• If I feel like unnecessary person in a restaurant, It is just being self-hating in my mind. I am not worthless person, so just don’t give a fuck and being myself.

It is essential to change your negative thinking. The reason I don’t worry so much these days is because I know how I am able to change my thoughts.

Simply, I have reduced the amount of time I spend in self-denial, saying, “I can’t do it”.

I spend much less time thinking about my problems.

The time you spend worrying and feeling down can be made into meaningful time by taking “action”.

No self-denial = action = have a mental strength

In summary,

The way to strengthen your mentality is: After shifting your thoughts of self-denial, continue to take action toward the person you want to be.

When self-denial is eliminated, you will naturally stop worrying.

And the “action” of total concentration to stop thinking will also lead to an increase in self-affirmation.

All in all, you can create a win-win situation.

It’s super easy.

Once you stop worrying and it is awesome.

I notice it all the time after lifting the barbells a few times. When I am not thinking about my worries, I feel alive. Let’s also divert our negative thoughts for the better and make it easier to live in the present moment.

Thank you for reading.

To read an article which related to: Better comes to don’t live of the social value