Category: Relationship

As long as you were born a man.

I think it is a natural feeling for a straight male to want to be popular or noticed with women.

There are many strategy books and videos on the market on how to get women to be conscious of you as a man, and I have found myself getting more and more confused as I try to get such information into my brain. You know what I want to say? There are too many techniques in the relationships between men and women.

Until recently, I was very conscious about sex desire, such as masturbating, having sex with random women, watching porn, etc.

I have finally realized that many men fall into this trap and are not seen as men by women, so I thought I would share my experience.

This article is for:

• Those who want to be noticed as a man by women.
• If you want to have courage and be yourself.
• Those who don’t know how to live their lives because of their addiction in their own way.

This is an article for men, but the content will be helpful for women as well.

Men live in an age where we can find a lot of wisdom on the Internet and in books about how to make women more aware of them and attract them.

I am grateful for that. Because all that information came from a man who had experience with women.

Frankly speaking, I think that there is a lot of effective knowledge that can be obtained from such online information. The reason for this is that many people have introduced how to get women to fall for them based on their successful experiences, so I think it’s solid.

The most common ones are; Men should try to ignore their emails, texts, and calls. And make them feel like an unattainable man. Not chasing women.

Women are not interested in what is easy to get, that is obviously so it is definitely effective to increase your value in that way. Actually, from my experience, I wasn’t ready to engage any women before that the women were always chasing me.

However, Sometimes a man is mistaken, because it will not work if he is not interested in them, and if he uses it from the beginning, it will not work. I also made mistakes when I used to play this kind of game in my own relationships.

This does not make women see you as a man because you are looking at the wrong thing. I think that when you are playing games in relationships, then you are not a man anymore.

I understand why you want to have attention from women even if you are playing games. Because we all want to have sex with women. It’s the only way.

I always thought I wanted to have sex with a girl who was cute or interesting. Why not, right? Men always think that with every woman they meet in every situation, maybe. Well, I don’t mean all men, but the men who are not seen as men by women have that kind of brain.

Changing this is critical to becoming a man who is conscious of women.

Even if you don’t say that you are sexually dependent, women already know that you watch porn and masturbate excessively. Even if they don’t know what they actually are doing, they feel it instinctively. Some parts, we are animals.

And If the sexual desire is too strong, Men will not be conscious of other things.

• Work is neglected. (And you don’t even realize it)
• Watching porn or having erotic fantasies rather than spending time on hobbies or meditation. (Unconsciously)
• I immediately imagine erotic fantasies even when reading books, driving a car, whatever you are doing somethings. (Unconsciously)
• You can’t study. (Unmotivated)
• Even if I go to the gym to do weight training, you can’t concentrate because you’re thinking and looking at women’s buttocks. (well, you will notice this by yourself)
• When you see a cute girl, you keep chasing her with your eyes. (This is also unconscious, every time women pass by)

Most of the time, the brain of a sex-crazed man is like this.

This situation is pretty bad.

Before I realized this, eroticism came to me when I meditated(zazen) all that time.

After I realized this, women do not see me as a man because I had an issue in all sexual matters, they knew that what is in my brain, and since this was happening in an unconscious state, I felt that I had to stop this first.

That’s right.

In order to become a man who is conscious of women and attract them, you must change your own brain, not by playing them and controlling them, but first you must change your own sexual awareness of women.

Women are not erotic tools.

They are not only for giving birth to children and sex.

I understand that it is instinctive to have sexual feelings for women, but when it comes time to do something with a woman, you should just let it out. But, all other times like you are putting them out that are in the wrong place.

Male attraction arises from the fact that the first step is to avoid looking at women as sexual objects as much as possible.

The way to do this is simple.

Stay away from everything that causes sexual desire.

Don’t watch porn, and chase women with your eyes, and don’t look at cute girls on social media, etc. It’s like being a monk. Just do this. Focus on what you do right now. As you do this, it is important to realize how you used to see women only as sexual objects.

Then you will enjoy the time you spend working out. You will be more and more motivated to work, read, do strength training, etc.

As you become less sexually dependent, you will become more aware of other things.

When this happens, gradually more women become aware of you as a man. Women will talk to you. But even then, wait, be a gentleman. That is how you can stop being a man who is confused by sexual desire. And become a real ‘unreachable man’ without having to play the part.

They are capable of feeling it.

Trust women.

Women find a man attractive when he works hard, when he does what he loves, and he pursues his dreams. And we men can focus more and more on ourselves because we are not distracted by women, so we definitely get better results in everything.

It makes your life a hundred times more enjoyable.

Please suppress your immediate desire to be popular by women, and your sexual desire, and spend more time working on yourself.

This is the most powerful way to make women interested and aware of you.

I was lost for quite some time, but I finally came back to the realization that don’t look at women only in terms of sex, and don’t treat them as such. This will increase your attractiveness and make you happier in your life.

I hope this article will be meaningful in your life. We can work together to make you more and more attractive to men!

Thank you for reading.

To relate an article: Dumped Men Hurts? How to Overcome a Painful Heartbreak

When you’re talking to people during conversation. Do you ever think about yourself when you are talking with others?

I used to be like that. I used to think about what I could say to make the other person like me, rather than how they would feel.

You don’t notice this until you consciously think about it. I was not able to make the other person enjoy the conversation. Because I was focused on myself.

I could not understand what the other person was thinking or feeling when we talked. I was focused on me. It was a big problem during communication.

In the end, I realized that I had been communicating in a rather selfish way. So, in this article, I would like to talk about two very important things.

• To be aware of when conversing with people who think too much about themselves.

• To how this affects them, and how to avoid thinking too much.

This article is about:

• Those who do not know how to communicate well.
• If you are always trying to go along with the other person in a conversation.
• You want to make the person in front of you happy.

I would like to write this article for those who want to improve their communication. And plus those who are struggling with their relationships.

First of all, the most important thing in communication is;

 To “let the other person have the flower.”

This cannot be done when you are in a stage where you are concerned about what the other person thinks of you. Or in other words, when you are conscious of yourself.

For example, there is a cute girl in front of you. And in order to get her to like you. You have to talk to her. Or choose your words to go along with her.

This may seem to be an attempt to make the other person feel great. But, it is an attempt to make “yourself” be liked.

However, they try to make the other person feel good about themselves. Because you want to make them like you. But they don’t know how the other person feels or what the other person is thinking.

Because of why?

You are thinking too much about yourself. Not focusing on her feelings at all.

This is especially true for those who are thinking about themselves during a conversation. That they are communicating in the wrong way with others.

It is easy to tell when someone’s interest in a conversation is focused on “me”.

Here is some examples,

• People who like hot weather. But then say they don’t like it to accommodate the other person.
• Someone who says they like to exercise. But their daily routine is eating an ice cream, and watching TV at home.
• They mount up to what others say.

These people are always thinking about how they will be perceived during the conversation. They don’t have time to think about how the other person feels. They want to be loved by themselves.

In this state, they do not know how the other person. It is feeling and what they are looking for in the conversation. I was like that. So, in my brain, I was thinking only about myself. I was wondering how I can make the other person like me.

In the past, I also used to conform to other people’s opinions. Because I didn’t want to be rejected. Perhaps due to peer pressure, I wanted to make the other person feel good.

But in reality, my subconscious was thinking like “I want to be liked!”, “I don’t want them to hate me!.”

that so, I was always pointing the finger at myself.

And as I did this, I was bound to be surrounded by people who are just like me. With these things, I didn’t realize that when I was having a conversation with someone. I was more self-centered than ever before to others.

Acting like, I showed up at gatherings I didn’t want to go to. And if someone likes something then, I like it no matter what I don’t like. I would say I liked things I didn’t like. And act as if I respected them so as not to break the camaraderie. Or the atmosphere of the place.

However, I realized that I was saying things because I was concerned about how I would be perceived.

And this caused me to feel more and more self-loathing.

I began to hate myself.

I felt that I had no choice but to retreat into my cave once again. And I refused all invitations from people. I refused to go to gatherings I didn’t want to go to.

I stopped choosing my words to suit the other person. By doing this, I found out who I really wanted to be. I realized that everything I had thought. I was doing for the other person was an attempt to force myself to be liked.

Another important thing in communication is;

To be yourself without pretending.

If you don’t like something, it’s okay to dislike it. No need to pretend.

If someone leaves because of that, it is okay to end it. As a result, there is no point if you are not in a relationship where you can be yourself without pretending.

If you are a little tired of always trying to fit in in relationships, you are having a hard time expressing your own opinions. Or you are changing your opinions to fit in with others, please try to sort it out.

By doing so, you will realize how you have been interacting with others by thinking in your brain about how to be liked by the other person first.

You will realize that you have been communicating poorly, when you thought you were trying to please the other person by being outwardly congruent with them.

Lately, I do more like myself and say whatever I want. Regardless of what the other person thinks about me. Well, on the premise that I mean I don’t say anything like the words which hurt others.

But then, I no longer feel anxious or afraid of people in conversation at all.

Once you know this. You don’t have to worry about relationships anymore.

I don’t have to worry about relationships anymore. Because I can focus on more important things than how I am perceived. That is the person is conversing in front of me.

You are having a conversation with a super cute girl in front of you. You want her to like you. But when you are thinking like that, you are not concentrating on the other person.

If you are thinking only about yourself in that way, there is no way they will like you. That was a blind spot. But once you realize that there are only two things you need to be aware of when dealing with people.

It is very simple.

Let the other person have the flowers during a conversation.

If the other person enjoys your conversation, you will be happy.

Enjoy yourself as you are without pretending.

You don’t have to think about how to be liked.

And your anxiety will disappear.

Just by being aware of these two things during a conversation. You can dramatically change the way you communicate with others. For me, this was an eye-opening experience.

If you are having trouble communicating with others, please take a look at this. I hope you will enjoy your relationships and conversations more.

Thank you for reading.

For the information, I have another blog.

It is called “Sroute66.” And if you like my article check for,,.

Love and Life aren’t going though and miserable. Why?

If you are a man living abroad or in the U.S. and If you are finding it hard to meet people, I have good news for you. I have used various matching apps in the U.S.

This time, I would like to introduce some of the best apps for someone who is a man from other countries with my own experiences.

 

This article is written for:

• Those who are looking to meet someone for a long term abroad.
• Those who want to have a girlfriend in another country.

This article is for all men who want to meet and have fun with girls abroad.

First of all, there are many dating and matching apps out there, but there are three that I have used and found to be good for men who are from abroad: Tinder, TanTan, and Hinge.

Tinder is a matching app that everyone knows.

The features of this app are that you will be matched more reliably than other apps, and girls will reply to your messages comparatively more often than other apps. So, although it probably wastes a lot of unnecessary communication with scams, if you can spend it then, you can meet as many people as you want.

The women who use this app range in age from 20’s to 50’s and include cute girls, model level girls, and of course, plump girls. You can meet various types of women.

You can also specify your age range and area, so you can set up meetings with women near where you live.

However, you have to be careful because there are a bunch of catfishing and scam accounts. One thing to note here is that most of the model-level accounts are hookup accounts. If they probably say hi at first contact and right away to tell the man like “my number is ××××××, hit me up!”, So, it’s pretty much easier to recognize them.

Or If you think like I don’t give a fuck any of the women who are hooking up with you, then just have fun. It may be a fun night by intentionally hooking up with a woman, but be careful because you may get into money troubles or crimes. If you are too busy with work to go out anywhere at all, I would like you to give this app a try.

To be honest, the probability of meeting someone is definitely higher than the other apps listed below. I recommend the dating apps I am recommending here as better than the others because they have a higher chance of matching.

I have also used Bumble, POF (Plenty of Fish), Coffee Meet Bagel, and OkCupid, so this is a comparison to those apps.

• I thought Coffee Meet Bagel was pretty good, but you have to pay for bagels(you need to have a lot of bagels to send messages.) and the matching rate is low.
• Bumble is a good choice for women, but I removed it because I think men still prefer to be aggressive rather than wait. But, I think it is a good app for those who used it once and didn’t find it a good fit with Tinder. The reason is that after liking someone, you can wait for a woman to choose you and start a conversation with her, so there is less wasted time for men. However, the matching rate is not as high as Tinder.
• As for POF, it doesn’t make much sense if you don’t pay, and you get a lot of messages but no replies even if you sent it back to them. And there are a lot of scam accounts.
• I also used OkCupid for a few months. It is completely free, and the good feature is that you can go to a meeting. After messaging quite a few times, I met up with a woman at Starbucks, but no such woman showed up at all, and I remember having an experience of receiving suspicious messages. Because this app is completely free, there are also many scam accounts.

For the above reasons, Tinder is the best app for me.

[Tinder]

Tinder is also a free way to meet people.

The result is that you can get this many likes and matches in one night. After all, if you don’t enjoy using an app, you feel like you’re wasting your time, but I think people use Tinder because it keeps them from getting bored. At this time, I was matched with two American women.

Next, it is called “TanTan.”

TanTan is an app like Tinder from China. The usage is almost the same as Tinder. And I recommend it to Asians men because you can match with a lot of Asians girls and the matching rate is higher than Tinder. The range of girls is also broad, just like Tinder. One difference is that 90% of the girls are Asian. There are also many cute girls.

You can also specify your age range and location, so you can set up meetings with women near where you live as well. There are similar catfishing problems and a lot of scam accounts on this app as well, so be careful of the same things I described for Tinder.

Particularly obvious is that such catfishing women will always try to get information from you to contact you via WhatsApp account or number or other apps. And although it has a phone feature, they will not want to have a phone conversation with you. It is best to avoid such accounts. If you use TanTan with the above in mind, you have a pretty good chance of meeting someone.

You can be like; Matched! → Messaged several times → Dated that day

There was a case that I ended up going on a date that day.

Many of the girls on this app are from China and are looking for friends who have just arrived in the U.S., so you can meet them relatively quickly. American women may not be available. Most of the women I met were from overseas, Asian women from Thailand, China, Taiwan, and Singapore.

[TanTan]

It’s a great way to meet Asian women in the U.S.

With this many matches in one night, the app is quite gratifying for men who love Asian women and living in the U.S., where it is very difficult to meet people. After you message a few times, you can ask them about their Instagram, etc. and become friends. However, you will get a lot of matching and reply messages, but most of them are scam accounts. Unfortunately, you will also spend a lot of your time.

The way to spot them so you don’t waste too much time is telling them you want to call them at first or ask them after a couple messages you received from her.

If they refuse, chances are good that it is not a legitimate account anymore. Maybe, Better to save up your time for others like your right girls. Well, it is up to you whether you continue or not. I just do not recommend it to you.

 

Finally, let’s talk about Hinge.

Hinge is a little different from the other apps I mentioned.

Tinder and TanTan are based on photos alone, so you can choose whether or not to include detailed information, but this app allows you to make various settings and improve your profile to increase matches.

Compared to the other two apps, in my personal opinion, the women are less attractive. The reason is that there are many women who are looking for serious encounters, and because there are fewer accounts for one-night stands or hookups, due to the large number of people who are average looking, and it may be harder to find the kind of woman you are looking for.

Instead, it is recommended for men who are looking for serious encounters. The matching rate is also still not that great, but matches are made even on the first day.

[Hinge]

She was a 32 year old woman.

Compared to some apps that don’t meet or even match after 3 months, this app is quite good. However, in my experience, I got the impression that messages were not returned very often.

In this case, I was matched, but the women did not reply.

I don’t know if this is a so-called scam account or not, but it’s pretty disappointing not to get a message back even if we are matched.

That’s all I have to say.

In summary:

• Tinder and TanTan have a high matching rate and you can meet really real women. However, you need to be careful because of the high matching rate and the number of scam accounts.
• The point to be careful is whether they want your information and not you.
• Tinder has a lot of American women to meet, while TanTan has a lot of Asian women from overseas.
• Hinge is good for men looking for serious dating. It is a good app for those who are not focused on looks, as there are not many model-level women that what you’re expecting. However, for some reason I don’t get many messages back after matching.

Meeting with women abroad is a courageous move.

You may wonder what this article is about when I say this, but I still think that men should be aware of women and they will lean on you by pursuing their own goals diligently without focusing on women.

Confidence is the most important thing. All men, We must have it.

I used to think about women so much that I could not concentrate on myself at all.

However, the matching apps took away and damaged my self-esteem at that time.

The thing is, as much as you can meet a lot of women, there will be many cases where the opposite will not work out.

If you are considering using a dating app, I would recommend the following; I want you to know that raising your self-esteem. I want you to do this first. It is dangerous to use dating apps without a sense of acceptance of who you are, that you will be okay with the dating apps. The world of matchmaking is a very lawless place, and to be honest, women’s egos are also very mean to men, it is vice versa.

I was a weak man, and I lost a lot of self-esteem because of it. There was a time when I really thought I was worthless. I strongly recommend that you give it a try, if you are already okay with these situation like mentally shunned, or if women say terrible things to you or neglect you, just try it out and see what happens.

However, I wanted to share this experience with you because there are many ways to meet women, and I hope you will consider this as an idea to make friends in your life. It doesn’t matter if you do it on the Internet or on the street.

You can become one if you keep on increasing your opportunities. And it’s also very good for both parties to meet and experience more and more women and to be able to entertain them.

I hope that we can continue to improve each other’s manhood together and this article will be of some help to you. If you are considering using a dating app, I would be happy if you would try it and share your thoughts with me.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

To relate an article: Dumped Men Hurts? How to Overcome a Painful Heartbreak

Today, I climbed a mountain in the evening.

Actually, I decided to climb today because I wanted to get rid of my recent obsession that has been piling up. I’ve been troubled by my love life, I’ve been troubled by my work, I’ve been troubled by my life.

I was worried about my future.

Our world, there are many things in life, aren’t there?

It is very difficult to lead a good life if I am worried about your environment, so when I am making a decision, it is very refreshing to climb a mountain.

Well, If you have any worries, I recommend that you climb a mountain.

This time, I would like to talk about the freedom you can receive by letting go of that attachment.

This article is for:

• Those who cannot forget the person they love.
• Those who have a hard time bending themselves in relationships.
• You are suffering from something you can’t do anything about right now. those who are in a situation that is out of their control.

This article is for those who are in a situation that is out of their control.

We sometimes have big emotional states. Such as your dream, who you love, and then, “I really want to get this!” “I really want to be in a relationship with this person!” “I want to be famous!”

There are many things in the world that you really want to get, right? There are also things and people that I just can’t give up on.

“a girl who is the one and only, I can’t think of anyone else!” I spend a lot of time thinking about how to make this relationship go well.

Too much thinking as always.

However, realistically speaking, it is better to let go.

If you don’t want to give up on someone you love in a relationship, you need to let go of trying to get them to understand your feelings. I too suffered a lot because I didn’t want to give up on this love thing.

I didn’t know what to do and wondered whether I should express my feelings of love.

As a result, the more I pursued the other person, both directly and psychologically, the more it was conveyed to the other person, and the more realistic it was that she would move away from me.

I have been thinking that I would like to meet her and talk to her and tell her how I feel about her, but I have decided to let go of asking her for my feelings.

Letting go means that not giving up, it is to let go of setting your feelings free.

For example, if you are in love with someone, if you want a house in an expensive area, if you want to become a celebrity and you want to become more famous, etc. You have something you really want right now, then it will be equally difficult to see your real life.

They are so caught up in what they want that they feel sorry for themselves for not being able to do it (failing makes low testosterones), or they hurt themselves, or they don’t realize how they are really feeling.  

And a big problem is when you are stuck in something else that is not you, you cannot concentrate on yourself. As a result, you are not able to live your own life because your sense of self is weakened. It’s as if something is your everything in life, and this is a very bad thing. It is a matter of reducing your attractiveness by half even if maybe it will be less.

Not living your life as you are is a waste of time and effort, and usually does not lead to happiness.

Sometimes, obsession with things you can’t change can cause you to lose sight of your goals and totally change your behavior. Especially when the desire to be loved and accepted by others dominates our thoughts, such as when we are in love or when we want to become famous through our desire for approval.

For example, the brain that is in love is…

• ‘How can I get the person I like to pay attention to me?’
• ‘Should I text him or her? Tell him I love him?’
• ‘Ask him or her out on a date?’
• ‘When and how should I make the other person happy?’
• ‘When is the right time to ask for a date?’

You are worried about things you can’t control, things that other people may already not care about. You can’t help but wonder if you can do something about it. If I become a good person, will the other person change their mind? That is not what we need to be.

For example, if there is a college that you want to go to, but you don’t have enough education or money for tuition, you may be worried about things that you can’t do anything about.

You maybe know that you can save up enough money to pay for school in the next couple of years, and you also know that you can improve your states for academic ability in the meantime, but you want it now, just right now because you want it, so you think too hard about what you can do to get it now and have a big depress every day.

Take, for example, a business contract.

For example, when we want a customer to respond to a contract immediately, but we never hear from them, or when we want them to pay for a product, but the payment is delayed due to their own reasons, we often worry about things that are not within our control.

When we are distressed, we try to do something about it, and when we take action to improve the situation, we invariably get a different result than we expected.

That’s right. Our obsession is to try to change what we think we can do, the other person, or the situation, so the reality is that we can’t change soon, even if we are deeply desirable about it.

Only in our own mind, we think, “I can do it! I think I can do it.” That is great and this is a positive place to be. However, this feeling of self-esteem or positive thinking is only within us. So it is better to assume that others do not know about it and that it does not matter for them. If we impose our ideal on the other person, for example, a person we like, a client we do business with, or a stranger, it is all up to them to receive, and they will not give us the same ideal answer.

So, what should you do?

In the case of love.

Keep thinking about that person, that is the only move you can make when you cannot give up on one. You can have feelings of love for the person, but you will be freer if you let go of the desire for the person’s approval to do or say anything to turn you on.

This is the only person you want to be with, and you really want to be in a relationship with him or her, maybe. But because of that, you cannot move freely, and you spend a lot of time thinking about how to get the person you love to be attracted to you, and you end up neglecting yourself.

Whenever I fall in love, I have a habit of thinking about how to make it work, so I climb the mountain and let go of my attachments.

Whether it will work out or not is the luck of the time. I have to leave it to the universe.

Of course I want it to work out. Once I accept that feeling, I stop thinking about what to do with her. It’s not like I’m going to go on to the next one, just goodbye to my desire for a partner. Adios.

Once I sort out and let go of my feelings and thoughts.

Once you do that, you have freedom.

Enjoying your freedom of mind.

You will lose the time that you have been trapped in, the time that you have spent thinking about how to make things work with that person. There is nothing you can do about it soon.

Most people don’t do this well, so they find themselves thinking about the other person, their work problems, their business partner’s contact, or whatever else they can’t handle. I was the same way. It was hard to let go of them, but they kept coming back to my mind and I couldn’t do it.

I also thought that if I changed my mind, the other person would change his/her mind, and I would make a lot of unreasonable demands of them. But what is more important is to remind myself to look at what I do every day and enjoy it from within.

The pleasure and happiness we get from others or from outside is like a fake.

You may misunderstand me when I say this, but relying on something to make you happy is just like a drug. You have to think about it if you have to live without a partner and without his or her recognition of your love, even though you have it inside of you and that is enough.

If that is the situation, let it go. Let go and be more open. You don’t need to forget about that person. Let go of that feeling that you are stuck.

It’s like you don’t give a fuck with anymore.

It’s like a tree in a river.

You don’t have to think about this or that because you don’t need that kind of control. So you don’t need to wait for them to respond or ask them how they are doing. You just go about your life freely. You don’t get caught up in anything else, and you can feel that the food you are eating is delicious.

Happiness will surely come when you release the attachments that are bothering you and become free. I am sure you will understand what I mean.

There is nothing more painful than a night when you cannot sleep because you are thinking about something that is not going the way you want it to go.

You can be free.

You can live more comfortably.

Your value is infinite.

You should not live your life trapped by anything else.

Why are things going wrong? It’s because you’re not living your life the way you should.

By all means.

Let go of everything that is bothering you right now and free your mind.

You will suddenly feel happy.

People who feel happy and real will be liked by others.

I am sure that by letting go of those feelings, you will feel better and smile.

Things will go smoothly from then on.

Thank you for taking your time with me.

Cheers. 

 

The past suddenly came to mind.

The love that I can feel so much these days has been nurtured and is finally taking shape little by little.

I feel like that.

I feel that to know love, it is necessary to learn it over time, which is not easy.

That there are various kinds of love.

After reading many books on love written by psychologists such as Jung, Freud, and Fromm, who is famous for his work on love, I realized that the human mind and psychology are not one-size-fits-all, that they are constantly changing, and that the degree and meaning of love differ for each person, so there is no correct answer.

I would like to share with you my own interpretation of what was necessary for me to build a form of love that I am satisfied with, based on my own experiences.

I would like to talk about what it means to learn to love.

First of all, I would like to say that there is no right answer to all forms of love.

I wanted to share with you how you can make your life more loving and abundant by facing your feelings with others and with yourself.

This article is for:

• Those who do not know how to love. If you don’t know what it feels like to love someone.
• Those who think they have never loved before.
• I want to be loved.
• Those who are currently in love with someone and have a hard time settling down.
• Those who are in love and are always absorbed in love.

This article is for those who are in love and are always absorbed in love.

I have always been troubled by love. I know I was a jerk.

When I was a child, I remember playing with my siblings and my grandparents, partly because my parents both always worked. However, I remember going camping and going to Disneyland with my parents, so I was not neglected that much.

However,

I felt that I was starved for love when I recalled my first love affair with my first girlfriend in high school.

Since then, I even felt that my life would be boring without love. I needed to be with someone all the time to feel satisfied.

I was truly a love addict.

Even as an adult, I was constantly in love, starting and ending.

Sometimes they lasted as long as five years, sometimes as short as three months.

I may have felt like a zombie who was constantly wandering around looking for love until I realized that I was in a dependent disposition towards women.

If she didn’t love me, I would feel worthless.

So when I didn’t have a girlfriend, I would search and appeal to her like a madman, and sometimes I would forcefully approach her even if she had a boyfriend.

Anyway, I was starving and thirsty.

I went on countless dates.

These encounters continued until I was about 34 years old.

I became so disgusted with love and myself that I realized that I had not grown at all in any of the encounters I had at that time.

I realized that although I had love for each encounter, I was only giving back because the other person was giving to me.

As a coward, I never gave love myself, but rather received it and returned it.

Sometimes I did not even return it, and in those cases they left me quickly.

Yes, in fact, I may not have had enough love to be able to love others.

So I did not have enough, and it is impossible for me to give it to them.

Furthermore, I had never tried to give love, which seems to be there but is not, to the other person, so when I could not get it from the other person, I could not do anything about it at all. Yeah that’s what I said in the beginning of this article, I was like a zombie. Lately, I realized that they left because of it.

And so on and so forth, and since then, every single love affair I’ve had has been unsuccessful.

As soon as I made an approach to a woman I was interested in while my mind was still in a halfway state, I was shunned, ignored, or stood me up on dates, as if she could see through everything I was doing.

And after that, it just got worse and worse.

I couldn’t get it out of my head that no matter what I did, I would always be treated poorly.

What I had done to women in the past came back to me.

As they say, karma and retribution.

What I did in the past always comes back to me for sure.

It was at this time that I finally realized that I had done terrible things to women in the past, and I began to reexamine my behavior. I told myself that it was too late to realize that I had done something really bad to women.

I have done terrible things, and now that I have experienced the same thing, I know the pain. When the betrayal happened, I cried a lot and felt terribly vulnerable and as if my life had been completely negated.

There is nothing more painful than a broken heart and estrangement from the people you love.

This led me to the learning that “I can’t love someone if I can’t love myself.”

When you are able to step back and look at yourself, or even take three steps back, you will be able to reflect on your past actions.

I reflected on my past actions, and at the same time, I was able to see something.

That is, I gave these people a hard time, and I also gave myself a hard time. At first, I experienced a time when I was happy only to receive love, then I experienced only returning love, although I did not know how to love from myself, then I experienced betraying love, then I experienced giving love from myself, and then I experienced being betrayed or rejected by them, eventually.

All of these encounters and experiences without this entire process, we could not have understood the fundamentals of loving.

Some of you may say that you did not have the painful experiences with love that some people have had to go through before being able to love and be loved. But if you’re reading this, if you’ve ever experienced any kind of pain through the relationships and love in your life.

This event was born out of a need to be able to understand feelings of loneliness, rejection, hunger, and conflict. And this will be a great learning experience throughout your life.

Having experienced and known this, you can now give love to others in the future.

I had no way of knowing this, because I had not experienced anything painful at the time and I just held women as I wanted, and still felt empty. No matter which woman I spend a night with, my thirst was never quenched. Because I had never been treated that way, I rarely thought about the feelings of others, always centered on myself, and did not know what I was doing.

There were times when I didn’t even know if I liked the other person or not.

It would seem that I would be happy if I could live my life without ever being rejected or hurt, but that is not the case. I have learned recently that I can only learn to love people because I have to learn to really love them.

Because in order to truly learn to love others, you have to be able to understand their feelings and mine too.

Only through that painful experience, I think that if you don’t have the painful experience, you can’t see true love.

If you have not had a painful experience, you cannot really understand the feeling of pain, so you can only express that level of love. Those who know what it is like to go through a painful experience are able to keep that in mind when interacting with others on a spiritual level, and are able to understand others as well.

This can make a big difference.

If your partner is someone who has never had a hard time before (and you will probably know what that person is like soon enough. They can be childish or narcissistic, anxiety), it may be difficult to develop serious love until you know that. But if you can endure it, it will probably work out.

This is my experience, so I don’t know if it applies to everyone, but if you are currently having a hard time falling in love or meeting unrequited love, It is definitely a lesson you need to learn to have endurance and gentleness towards everything.

It is about getting the best love, the best love within you. The day will surely come when you will be rewarded. Whatever the situation and whatever the outcome, it will always steer you in the right direction.

Believe in yourself.

You will see many things when you get through this situation.

It will be hard, but it will make you more aware of your own heart.

You will learn to make an effort to let your mind enjoy itself out of a difficult situation.

You will learn to create love on your own without depending on anyone else.

This is the privilege of those who have experienced and known hardship. Those who don’t know, have no way of knowing. Because they have never felt it.

It is like that after the Ice Age, when love was always given to us and controlled by others, the ice melts and we finally begin to nurture love within ourselves, as if we were putting down roots in the soil.

What happens when you do this is that you become able to have tender feelings toward everything that happens. You can take a step back and look at things with kindness, even if you would normally be angry or cry.

Oh, no matter what happens, you will be okay. That is for sure that your roots will grow, and that love will not disappear because it does not come from others.

You will be able to trust yourself and go with the flow no matter what.

You already have love, so be kind and generous to all, giving more and more, and you will not be afraid of anything.

To love is to be kind to all. and, It is to be kind to yourself.

And not just for certain people, but also for nature and animals.

It is because we have had painful experiences and painful relationships where we did not know how to love others, that we can learn to love without compensation from those experiences.

Those who cannot love do not yet have love within themselves. Love within you is born, as I said at the beginning, when you make an effort to affirm yourself through painful experiences.

There may be people who have high self-esteem from the beginning, but most people who suffer from love have low self-esteem and are often lonely, fearful in life and many of them find their self-worth only in receiving love from others through love.

As a result, they are not loved. People who deny themselves are also denied by those around them. Then that person will begin to deny the people around them as well, and they will get stuck in a vicious cycle.

So, slowly serve yourself by doing what you love, and when you are satisfied, serve love to those around you.

By doing so, you yourself will be more fulfilled. At that time, you will have already resolved what was painful and you will understand what it is to love.

Earlier,

when my child passed me on his kickboard.

I decided to get on the side of the road and give way.

She smiled at me with an infectious smile and cheered me up.

Kindness can be conveyed and can connect us to the world.

No matter what the situation is, we can act on it by caring for others.

To do so, we do not ask what the other person thinks of us or what we have done for them, but simply give kindness to the people around us, which is the form of love we can give nowadays.

Kindness means thinking of others and doing what is good for them.

It does not mean becoming a person who does not get angry.

It is about thinking about the other person and doing what is best for them.

You can receive and give love because it is already rooted in you.

If you are in that state, then surely every day is already becoming more and more enjoyable.

You are beginning to enjoy looking up and interacting openly with those around you.

Painful experiences have become a learning experience of love, and you are no longer shaken by a few things.

That state of being is what will bring you true love and the best life possible.

Thank you for reading, Cheers.