Category: Mental Health

When I hear the word “narcissist”, some people see it in a good way, on the other hand, others see it in a bad way.

In fact, there are many different types of narcissists and their tendencies and they all have different backgrounds as to how they came to be the way they are.

It seems that almost everyone has a little narcissism and no one has zero percent.

Depending on the degree of narcissism, some people are diagnosed with NPD, for example.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a personality disorder in which people who are unusually narcissistic than others have problems in their relationships, work, and life in various situations.

When I was a teenager, I wondered if I myself was a narcissist.

The reason was that I often looked in the mirror at a restroom, always worried about my hair style, and carried hair wax with me all the time.

What’s interesting is that people who live in Japan probably think “narcissists” is such a so-called “show-off,” but actually, it is not in the world.

I’m sure there are many people who are like me, they wonder, “Am I a narcissist?” As doing just fixing your hair all the time and checking or looking in the mirror is not narcissism, so don’t worry. 

And if you are a real narcissistic person then you aren’t trying to know yourself by reading those kinds of articles. For instance, Many narcissists don’t even realize or think of themselves as narcissists.

People who are looking in the mirror 100 times in one hour may be hiding some problems.
Abnormal behavior or not stable acts that anyone can see is always a sign of some disorder.

So, for this time, I would like to talk about trends and types of narcissists.

This article is for;

• Those who want to know what a narcissist is.
• If you are surrounded by a narcissist and have trouble dealing with him or her.
• If you are wondering whether you are a narcissist or not.

For the reader who is worried about whether you are a narcissist or not, having problems dealing with them, this article is for you.

First of all, I would like to explain the following.

My knowledge of Japanese, a narcissist means a person who acts cool.

ナルシスト（narcissist） and ナルシシスト（narcissist） originally have the same meaning in English, but in Japan the meaning differs from person to person.

So, by looking in the mirror and checking about hair, some people make fun of them because of that “he is a narcissist(カッコつけ)” which happens to be very common in Japan.

In the world’s understanding of “narcissists,” there is no 100% correct answer, but let’s put aside that subtle difference, narcissists are people with low self-esteem, who do not have the slightest idea deep down that they are cool or love themselves.

And acting aggressive because they don’t want people to see their vulnerability or lack of confidence.

Only the way, they try to control or attack others by creating feelings of self-worth.

They develop this personality due to their traumas, sexual violence, excessive bullying, and an abusive or unloving childhood experiences.

There are different types of narcissism; Closet Narcissism, Exhibitionist narcissism, Malignant Narcissism by psychiatrist James L. Masterson (Hall 2019).

The closet, exhibitionist narcissisms, have both the same and different characteristics.

It is mentally unstable under the influence of low self-esteem, which is not normal, and it is particularly averse to shame for oneself and reacts to it in an exaggerated way.

It might be easier to describe it as “Menhera,” in Japanese. If you want to know about “Menhera,” the Urban dictionary mentioned it so please check it out. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Menhera

Some may think that Menhera and narcissists are completely different people, but in fact, they are the same in that they have very little self-love.

Because of their rigid and distorted thinking, they are unable to perceive what is happening in reality with their normal senses.

They lack self-awareness and empathy, they are unable to understand realistically, not thinking about the other person or even themselves.

What sets closet narcissists apart is that while they think they are special, but they tend to be extremely fearful of standing out, it is easily hurt by themselves.

For this reason, they can be jealous, angry, and sometimes cold toward others, hiding a dominant side.

Unlike other narcissists, they don’t like showing their savageness.

The closet narcissist is the most unwelcome of the narcissists personality, hiding among them his or her domineering behavior and desire for entitlement, so we barely cannot realize at first.

And the person who is the closet narcissist must have had a severely humiliating experience in the past.

It sounds pitiful to think so, but actually getting involved with them is for sure to be psychologically damaging to you.

When you go to Japan and date Menhera, that’s a scary thing in life though. You should be careful to know her/him as quickly as possible.

Next, the exhibitionist narcissist, contrary to the closet, will dominate others by being vain, showing that I am special, and saying things that they will over rate by themselves or don’t fit their stature.

They tend to use their charisma, intelligence, connections, and looks to somehow stand out and threaten others with stories of their superiority.

Since they think they are perfect or divine, they will not listen to them, which is troublesome.

When these personalities are their own bosses, politicians, or hold power, they will punish and destructively abuse those who are weak or disobedient, and they will make sure that all hell breaks loose.

Both closet and exhibitionist, They have only two perceptions for life: to be perfect or not to be perfect, and they will disappoint and condemn you if you betray them or disagree with them.

They take the negative feelings they have as if someone else is bringing them out. And they try to protect themselves.

Here is a simple example of what happened to one person’s tendency to be a narcissist.

When going out to eat with some people, the person’s attitude became overtly loud when we went to restaurants and other places.

The words he often said were,

“I’m a customer, and that waitress/waiter attitude is disrespectful.”

“I’m a customer!” to say out loud at a restaurant.

When he didn’t ask them to get water but when they didn’t get any water for him automatically, he would get angry and complain about how he was treated, which is a bad way.  

He has something of unshakable value that is his value, and cannot allow others to trample on that value.

Also he wanted to show others that superior and special, and when he are not treated respectfully on his way, he blamed and sometimes lash out, this is truly narcissism.

Another example,

When several people went on a road trip, one person was afraid to take responsibility, so he asked others to make all the decisions for him.

The deciding words were,

“Everything will be fine. I’ll leave it to you.”

People who say this also have a tendency toward closet narcissism.

After all, If they don’t say anything then it’s fine, but most of these people who they say are okay, they actually don’t think okay at all and usually complain at the last.

But, they are afraid of making a decision and making a mistake, never decide.

Instead, if there is a mistake in preparation or arrangement others, there is not the slightest gratitude to the person who made all the decisions or made all the preparations,

They blame him/her, and then pass on the negative gossip to the people around them, making them feel left out. It is a preparatory step of manipulation.

Another tendency is that they are nice and gentle in their approach at first place.

They are always saying a lot of compliments to feel you good things like;

“Cool, you’re cute!”

“You’re awesome!”

“You’re great, you can do anything.”

“I’m on your side.”

“I’m your friend.”

And then, someday, you will realize that they are making you feel very uncomfortable.

When you express your opinion to them, they shut you down or make you feel ashamed, and you feel bad for yourself.

Because they say that they are your friend or family, and ask you to be nice to them.

At first, when people are friends or family members, many people will think like, “Well, they’re my friends, and they’re my family, so I have to take care of them or be nice to them a little bit right?

That feeling which normal people have, they will use it to manipulate you.

After that, you probably have to put up with something very unpleasant or unreasonable.

It’s just another sacrifice.

You need to leave or stop dealing with them.

Most of the time, if a narcissist is lurking in a close friend or family member, it is quite difficult to notice or is likely already in control.

If you are having trouble with a relationship or feel like you are being ingested in some way,

You may want to think again about what they are like in light of the tendency.

They can be human but maybe they don’t have human’s feeling or minds.

The last one is malignant narcissism.

This has characteristics of mixing closet and exhibitionist narcissism, but is aimed at ingestion and domination, as opposed to intimidating and attacking others with a defensive instinct against disillusionment and threat.

Horrible of the malignant characteristic that enjoys humiliating others.

It is emotionally defective toward others and violates others with impunity to relieve the inadequate self-esteem created by shame and trauma deep down inside.

I have yet to personally encounter this type of person, but I would guess that it is the government in countries where political corruption is taking place.

They are the ones who protect their position and weakness by killing or punishing those who disobey them, and feel no guilt about it.

In this way, there are many different tendencies and types of narcissists, and they are all mixed together in various ways.

In summary,

Narcissists and narcissists are formed from childhood and historical backgrounds, from old traumas and insults.

If you can know the tendencies, you can protect yourself.

If you do not want to deal with them or are having trouble dealing with them, I strongly recommend that you leave.

Some of you may find that talking to a narcissist does not bother you at all and is not a problem.

I myself have been researching this narcissism, I have some of these tendencies myself, so I guess we all have a few of these habits.

If you are wondering if you are a narcissist or not, you may need to have a talk with yourself once.

People who are not self-aware are also narcissists.

How much do you know about yourself?

What is making you suffered?

You may want to think about whether you are blaming friends, family, lovers, partners, people around you, society, or organizations for your feelings.

However, if you are able to look at articles and try to get to know you better then, I don’t think you’re not a narcissist.

You can take as many selfies as you want, without worrying about the first place.

I also took this opportunity to think about how I feel about other people and how I act toward them.

I hope this article will be of some help to you.

If you would like to know more about narcissists, I have posted links below to books that I have read and found helpful, so you might want to read them as well.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the article.

ZenJin

Life is all about depending on oneself.

Do you remember the Pixar’s movie “Coco” by about a grandmother, Mamá Coco?

She has a gorgeous smile with a lot of wrinkles.

We can imagine that at her funeral, she would be surrounded by good friends, family, and a late husband who was inside her heart and ended her happy life.

But in reality, that is not optional for everyone.

There is someone who feels lonely and dies alone.

After the COVID-19 pandemic, a lot of people felt lonely, isolated, and in despair.

We have so much stress because of a big life change, such as losing a home, jobs, money, health, family members, and hope.

I was thinking about isolation in our society, and my curiosity picked up the word “Kodokushi.”

It means “lonely death,” which is a bit problematic nowadays in the case of elderly deaths in Japan.

How come people who go on die alone?

It might be that they lost all their hopes in our society.

Their thoughts changed to dealing with others instead of having strong anxiety about problems such as mental, financial, and physical health.

Significantly, avoiding those factors that require people who feel close and worthy, having a strong community, managing oneself, having good self-esteem, and having a daily exercise routine that can decrease a problem is my idea.

This journal will attempt to find solutions to the death of loneliness as well as what life is. So, let’s begin to define “Kodokushi” first by what it is about.

In Japan, the specific word “Kodokushi” was created in 1980, and this issue has become more prevalent in Japanese’ society.

In 2008, in Tokyo, more than 2,200 people over the age of 65 died of loneliness, according to statistics from the city’s Bureau of Social Welfare and Public Health (Nobel 2010).

According to Yoshida, who started a business to clean out the home of death in Japan, as produced by Time magazine, the people die alone, sprawled on the floor beside crumpled clothing and dirty dishes, tucked beneath flowery bedspreads, slouched against the wall.

Months, even years, can pass before somebody notices a body.

On occasion, all that’s left are bones.

“The majority of lonely deaths are people who are kind of messy,” he said.

From his words, people who die alone are messy, lazy, and have no energy to do anything.　

Also, another reason is the impact of disasters, with cases increasing, for example, after the 1995 Kobe earthquake in Japan (Bris 2019).

In Japan, it can be tough to live without fear of earthquakes because there are so many and they are predictable but unavoidable.

Probably everyone still remembers the strongest earthquake in Japan’s recorded history, the Fukushima earthquake in 2011.

I was there, and it was really horrible at the moment. In fact, a lot of people died and were hopeless in the tsunami that day.

“Kodokushi” or “dying alone” is a growing problem in Japan, where 27.7 percent of the population is aged over 65 and many people are giving up trying to find partners in middle age, opting instead for a solitary existence.

Those are two big reasons to increase anxiety and depression and make it difficult to live, for sure. However, psychologically, we can fix laziness and depression.

If you learn about the system of neurons, it is manipulatable.

First of all, “low serotonin levels” were associated with the presence of depressive symptoms (Trujillo 2021).

I believe that if people can change to increase their strength both mentally and physically, they can get out of their small apartment and get a coffee, go for a walk, or talk with neighbors.

And if they don’t have the option to choose where to live, then they should change their mind and gain the physical strength that is required to live in our society.

For maintaining a good serotonin level, walking, running, biking, and swimming, are aerobic exercises that significantly increase serotonin production in the body (Higgins 2019).

The other idea is that the key is self-esteem.

According to Bum’s Journal, they examined the relationships among the factors of fun with a group of 249 players from tennis clubs located in South Korea.

According to their experiment, exercising increased positive self-esteem and happiness (Bum 2016).

If people are busy or stuck, fitness leads to a healthy and meaningful life through having fun. We can learn how to maintain happiness and emotional stability by promoting positive behavior through physical activities.

And a high level of self-esteem results in a strong tendency to respect oneself and one’s surroundings.

So, that makes it worthwhile. This is probably the same for young adults and children. Because depression and laziness are not about age.

Depression in the elderly is not a natural part of aging.

If we can identify this condition, we can provide timely, appropriate treatment that will help restore health (Trujillo 2021).

In this way, we can manage our health level at any age, and it can be decreased to deal with loneliness and the isolation of society.

So, when we can manage our health, we need people to feel that they are not alone.

But how can we meet people and have a good relationship with them?

According to Prince-Paul, within the context of end-of-life (EOL) care, “humans are beings in relationships; in other words, the very essence of human existence is to have close personal connections and relationships with others.”

And the dying experience affects all dimensions of an individual.

Above those things, knowing the fear of death will help create a strong connection with people. When you are old, think about death, which is very helpful for not thinking too much about what has to be done in our society.

For example, if they have cancer or a serious illness from which they expect to die, they think of their lives deeper than young people because they do not really need to think about problems that most people are concerned about, such as financial, physical, debt, etc.

Those who were terminally ill with advanced cancer expressed the importance of creating close personal relationships at the end of life (Prince 2008).

Most young generations never think about death until they have a life-threatening situation or a serious accident.

I can guess that because I hadn’t thought about it until my life event of a huge car accident in 2018.

So, that is why people leave people easily; quick judging makes it difficult to have serious connections with friends, a partner, and even family members too.

I found a newspaper that had an interesting story about how they were complete strangers, but they became friends for life.

Frank Rembert was 58, and Rick Wilson was 42. They had joined in fishing together, and they mentioned real friendships.

Rembert was one who needed a lifesaving kidney transplant; Wilson made it for him. From their conversation, “I just feel that I can talk to Frank about anything.

I can confide in him. I can share my deepest thoughts with him. I value his advice,”(Quintanilla 1996).

This kind of friendship isn’t easy to have.

So, it could be known from the newspaper what a real and deeper connection there is between these two guys, and we can learn from them.

Because people are reflections.

If you don’t know what a real friendship? then you will never know it and never meet them.

What luck is after COVID-19 in our lives is that we will have fear, anxiety, isolation, and financial worries in the future, but it will give us a new awareness, hope, and a true sense of connection.

We thanks to that, we will be able to rethink life.

Controlling your emotional state and exercising daily to manage your physical and mental health, plus knowing of death for the realization of yourself more to help a good connection with people, could help you find your life partner.

Those factors will help decrease lonely deaths, and if people feel isolated in society or family and lonely.

Then follow these steps to create strong self-esteem with love yourself.

However, when I was researching this topic, I realized that “Kodokushi” itself is not bad at all.

Because I had dinner with my best friend and discussed it. He said,

“Lonely death is not bad because people who want to die alone are happy to die alone with no one to take care of them,”

“They didn’t want to bother surrounding him or her, which was the best choice for them.”

Then, I concluded that I was thinking of a lonely death was bad or sad from my perspective, but that idea of mine comes from conforming to society’s values.

The different types of people there are not of the same value in society, and Mamá Coco style is just not for them.

In fact, there are two ways to think about whether dying alone is sad or comfortable.

It all depends on people and what is valuable to them.

“Kodokushi” is one of the options for dying and when you are old enough and realize that you are dying soon, there is nothing wrong with being alone.

If you can at least not feel lonely in life, and your life is currently filled with the excitement of living and surviving with your family and friends, then you can die alone at the end of your life.

Alone, it’s not bad at all.     

Works Cited

Today, I was in downtown LA with a friend I haven’t seen in two years.

We went to a ramen restaurant called “Rakkan” and Angel City Brewery for beer.

It’s Sunday afternoon.

Beer and ramen are the best.

For some reason, we got into a conversation about sexual desire today.

Both he and I have a high sex drive.

We used to have a lot of fun and were always chasing girls.

He is an American, but he visits Japan often.

We enjoyed various nightlife activities until he had a wife.

I loved girls and was always looking for someone.

I used to feel like I wasn’t alive if I didn’t have sex.

Lately, I don’t have a girlfriend, so it’s been a while.

I have stopped masturbation and watching pornographic videos. So I have started to stay away from that kind of thing.

When I was far from my sexual desire, I realized that I was always looking for a woman, so I began to wonder if this was some kind of strong dependence.

There is a word in America called Blue Balls, which I learned from him today, and it means “to be horny from women but they cannot come”.

It sounds in hell that It means the pain that comes from doing something that makes you horny but you cannot produce sperm.

Stopping such horny behavior will decrease sexual performance. No need to use your　penis, so then it will be a natural result. And that will be very scary for all guys.

But it may be necessary for boys who are always thirsty in search of girls.

Masturbation itself may be an ancient practice.

It may have been around since ancient times, but I thought, “Animals are also left to nature, and should be left to nature.”

For men with strong sexual desires, not trying to be erotic is a very good way to focus on oneself.

In fact, I felt that my recent behavior had improved because I had stopped masturbation and started living.

I thought that masturbation is not biologically necessary and that it is always good for health to masturbate twice a week, but in the end, when it comes out, it comes out on its own, or it is absorbed by the body, or it depends on the person’s own way of thinking.

I would like to refer you to other articles on the subject of rising testosterone and medical science, but I think it is up to the individual to decide.

But I felt two things.

First, I can focus on my own growth.

Eroticism is something that gets in the way.

If you only think about girls, you can’t really improve yourself.

Self-development is about exploring what you love.

Enhancing it is about reducing your various desires and focusing on your inner feelings.

I think it is to concentrate on one’s inner feelings.

By the way, eroticism always comes from the outside.

I think it is mostly from sight.

I haven’t tried it, but if you were a man alone on a desert island for ten years, you wouldn’t be in erotic mode.

Secondly,

I can know what kind of things are important to me.

Love too much and eroticism are blind.

Men, in no small part, will have expectations when they go on a first date with a cute woman, for example.

Of course, some may not be interested in erotic acts at all.

But for those who are interested, eroticism starts to get in the way of seeing her true nature and her good and bad qualities.

This is the best thing to realize.

Because if you rewrite a girl’s goodness into eroticism, you will repeat the same thing again and you will only judge a person’s goodness by her eroticism (appearance).

In our modern society, where desires always surround us. No one will tell you if it is good enough.

We don’t get enough our information from the Internet.

Eventually, we need to do and learn for ourselves.

I thought that we need to control our desires better.

All desires, whether they be food, sleep, or sex, can be problematic if too much is taken.

It’s not just about the amount.

But we also need to pay attention to how we take it.

However, My friend’s friend is having a lot of fun in Japan. He has been having physical relations with models and porn stars at a very fast pace.

I was honestly envious when I heard that.

But in my case, I don’t envy them anymore now because I unwired eroticism to transform. Honestly, maybe a bit but If I refuse to watch their flashy YouTube videos, I don’t have any information to compare.

I didn’t have to think about how much better they are than others.

And I also compare myself to the rich people I see on social media, and I feel unhappy when I obsess over things I don’t have.

It is up to each person to decide what makes them truly happy.

I would like to be more in control of my desires and to know what I really want from within.

Then I have stopped thinking that everything I see or hear is information I need.

I don’t want to be excited by external factors. I want to know what I want from within.

And I have to ask myself, “What is the point of continuing to seek it out?” Is it really a good thing or not?

I would like to continue this research, not easy, but never ending.

Thank you for reading.

To relate an article: [Mental Heal] do you know how to deal with Greed

The sky is cloudy.

Or rather, the sky is smoky because the mountains are burning too much.

I had no idea that the sky color would change so much when the mountains burned.

On days like this,

It is hard to get excited.

However, I realized that when the weather is not so good, I am helped a lot by the wonderful weather in California.

It is nice to have nice weather after all.

The environment in which you live is very important for survival.

Live in a place you like which is better for your health.

But sometimes it is not easy to live here, even if you want to live where you live now, because of money reasons such as rent, family problems, or visa problems if you are from another country.

In fact, I have recently been thinking that being in a place you love can be a battle against so many hardships.

Love, work, the house you live in, whatever that when you love something or someone, you will suffer more than when you don’t love it.

We suffer from the attachment that we cannot give up.

But that’s just because you’re not living in the moment.

When you want to let go of attachment, bring your thoughts back to the present.

You know, just the weather was overcast and I was feeling a little down, then fear would come in my mind.

For me, when I looked back on my day, I found myself feeling anxious about the future, vague about what I wanted to be, perhaps because of my attachment to what I wanted to be, and my thoughts were going to and from.

My thoughts were going this way and that way, and I was not able to focus on the present.

So, I thought about coming back to the here and now.

We don’t know what will happen in the future.

Wildfires could come up here and burn my house to the ground.

I might not be able to live here tomorrow, in the town I love.

Or I may suddenly lose everything.

If I spend all my time worrying about such uncertainties, I will not be able to enjoy the present.

When I am stuck on it then, I always chant to my brain, “Focus on now, now, now.”

In fact, even death feels unimportant when I live in the present.

I am anxious about death, I am anxious that the people I love will hate me, I am anxious about losing my place to live, I am anxious about failure in the future, I am anxious about losing money, etc.

Having attachments causes a lot of anxiety to run through our brains.

We can’t eliminate all of them.

But to think that “Now, now, now!” is a good idea.

In Zen, there is a term called 放下著 (hougejaku), which means to let go of attachment.

It tells us that if we let go, we can use our energy for other things.

But you may not know how to let go.

After a heartbreak, it is not so easy to forget someone you love or to let go of an attachment.

My own ideas on how to let go are that I believe that living simply in the present moment is the best way to let go of attachments and to enjoy life.

The important thing is to bring your thoughts to the present and focus on them.

Yesterday and tomorrow are not very important.

To think about how to live now,

Eventually, all of fear really doesn’t matter.

It’s more about living in the now.

I think it is much more important to live in the present than to chase too much after the past or future ideal self.

When I eat dinner with a friend while thinking about something, I don’t enjoy it at all.

Even if it is the last time I have dinner with them.

If you are feeling uneasy about meeting someone of the opposite sex in a casual coffee shop, you will miss the chance to have an enjoyable conversation with them. Or your life will end without even noticing the person.

The scenery changes when you live in the present.

You see the same place and people differently every day.

This awareness is the key to Cherish each and every single moment.

I believe that we can enrich our lives by making the most of the energy we have in the present moment.

I believe that this awareness will enrich our lives.

Thank you for reading.

To relate some article: [Mental Heal] do you know how to deal with Greed

I borrowed a new book from the library today and I feel good about it.

It is a book by author Steve Herz.

I read the beginning of the book right away and am looking forward to reading it all the way through.

I’m getting all kinds of wisdom and I also get a sense of fulfillment from it.

Reading books is really good for the body and mind.

It is similar to muscle training.

However, It’s only recently that I started reading books in earnest.

I think it is hard to find something that enriches your life. Because we are all hard in our life and it is pretty much not easy to keep in your good mind.

I have tried various hobbies in the past such as calligraphy, photography, and instruments.

But the best way to manage yourself is to keep a healthy mind. To control by your health with Workout and reading books are definitely two hobbies that you should try.  

Because they can be done by yourself, no matter where you are.

It is also cost-effective.

I buy or borrow books, but if I go to the library, it’s free.

The changes in me since I started these two things are that I’m getting a little bit bigger, and I like myself a little bit more than before.

It may sound weird, but just looking in the mirror in the morning allows me to enjoy the start of the day with my personal growth.

I used to wake up every morning and feel tired.

But since I started muscle training has helped me to get rid of this feeling.

There are many ways to improve one’s self-esteem, whether it be through study, work, or love.

But they are invisible, and in some cases, they can bring your feelings down.

Muscle training is great because you can see it, you can do it on your own, and it just goes up. No matter how you are ugly, stupid, and low self-esteem that you have it now.

I have also started to pay more attention to my diet, so my body is in better shape.

The other thing is Reading.

When I read a book which means that I’m learning English at the same time\.

At that point, it’s the best hobby I’ve ever had.

I never intended to make reading a regular part of my daily routine, but for some reason I just want to read.

It’s because it’s a book about something I’m interested in. So, reading with my favorite coffee is the most luxurious time for me.

But by incorporating a little bit of this kind of “luxurious time” into my day, I am able to enjoy my days.

I enjoy every day more.

It’s very simple, but….

You should do what you want to do, even if you don’t have time to do it all day.

It is a waste if you don’t try to enjoy your life.

And it is like knowledge of how your brain grows and a new way of life.

Yes, happiness will come from self-discipline.

It’s just another way to go up your life level.

And, It never goes down. All that is going to increase your wisdom and your confidence.

It is especially good to read books that you like.

Any book, manga, mystery novel, or whatever you enjoy is fine.

Actually, I don’t read books I don’t like in my free time and I like to live with the bare minimum of what I don’t like to do.

However, I think just doing a little bit of what I like to do in the time I have available is fine.

Before I wasn’t reading, I had nothing to do.

I think I spent a lot of time watching Facebook, Instagram, porn, etc.

Then I’d be like… I’m a little bit feel like I’m an loser.

Before my mentality, on the contrary, was not that strong. I would think to myself, “I’m losing right now” and I would lower my own tension.

Then, every time I did that, I would lose sight of myself in the present.

I live in the past or the future.

Then you can’t enjoy the present.

But that’s what reading has changed for me to enjoy at the moment.

Well, If you cannot focus you cannot read so,,.

If you are like me, and you feel anxious or attached to something that you can’t do anything about by yourself and meditation or exercise alone won’t help you think about it again, then reading is good for you.

Reading is good for those people who are unable to fill the gaps in their minds with knowledge.

By introducing a new way of looking at things, you can. You will be able to move forward.

I believe that reading is a way to nurture the ability to take action rather than anxiety.

Well, even at my adult age, I learned a lot from my favorite manga, It’s called “Space Brothers.”

https://www.amazon.com/Space-Brothers/dp/B07JKGWJ6Yby Amazon shopping

If you change the way you look at things, you will feel more hopeful that you can do it.

That was actually the case.

The way to love yourself is to train your muscles and read books.

It gives you a sense of fulfillment and It also exercises your brain and body.

I realized that “enjoying my growth” is the most important thing in life.

However, I had a hard time realizing to love yourself.

Of course, love, work, and friendship are important. But to look at yourself is the most important thing in life.

You know you will be alone when you pass so many years later, and You need to enjoy yourself as a strong man with what you like to do.

And enjoy the growth, even if it is a little bit at a time.

I did not understand such a simple thing before.

What inspired me to enjoy my personal growth was muscle training and reading books.

From now on I am going to enjoy my growth by myself. It is not for others.

Thank you for reading.

To relate an article: Dumped Men Hurts? How to Overcome a Painful Heartbreak

Lately, I have been letting anxiety get the best of me, and I have not been able to live in the moment.

In addition, It is difficult to know myself in a state of anxiety. And, In this season of winter, I also feel lonely and strongly wish for wish fulfillment.

However, when wishes come true it is usually when I do not think about such things and just act positively.

However, when wishes come true it is usually when I do not think about such things and just act positively.

At first, I would like to introduce you a book.

I have some recommendations for all men to read. It is called “I USED TO BE A MISERABLE F*CK” by John Kim.

If you are a man, you have fun reading this book. It’s a book that talks about changing from a boy to become a man through his own experiences.

For men, just getting older does not change the fundamentals.

Some people are like children at any age.

However, I believe that one day we have to change our way of thinking.

If we as men want to leave offspring, we cannot remain in the mindset of children in order to protect our partners.

It does not mean that we have to lose our playful mindset. But there will always be a time when we have to become so-called men.

Because a women need a real Men, and it need to change for their own sake and for their partners.

And Actually the women need to accept that. Some women are not ready yet for that too.

The time to change is when you know yourself.

It is at a certain point that a man must realize his own weakness. And to change into a real man, he must accept his weakness anyway and have a mindset of not caring.

You must stop caring about everything, no matter how dangerous or unpleasant the situation.

For example, boys care about everything, even if it is a small thing.

Are you trying to care about your fashion sense to those around you? Or hairstyles, how much money you have, and what you like to do.

Are you acting according to others, neglecting the choices you have to make for yourself?

When a boy turns into a man. You need to think about who you are as a person.

What are your favorite foods?

You need to be clear about what you like to eat and what you want to do in life.

When you realize the best of you, You can change at any time.

After all, living a life in your own way is probably the simplest and easiest way to express yourself.

So, That’s why I wear a blue bucket that most people wouldn’t wear and my favorite strong-smelling perfume to go out for a beer and talk to people, not just women.

I believe that expressing yourself is the only way to change from a boy to a man.

You can wear what you like, even if you think it’s strange.

Eat the food you want to eat.

Go where you want to go.

I think this is what men need to do nowadays.

I would like to share my thoughts with all the men who are being misled by women.

Someone whose Life is not fun, keep it simple. And do what you want to do without worrying about what others think.

I’m sure you’ll find that by doing what you want to do when you want to do it.

And you’ll be able to do what you couldn’t do before because you were too worried about other people (girlfriends, family, friends, people at work, etc.).

You will definitely be able to change.

So I thought, “Heal yourself today.” And “Live in the moment.”

Thank you for reading.

To relate an article: Better comes to don’t live of the social value

I have been thinking deeply about greed lately.

Sexual desire, desire to sleep, and appetite are truly indispensable desires.

But at the same time, I think they also have a magical element that can destroy us if we have too many of them.

If we could control our desires, wouldn’t life be easier? I think the answer is Yes.

I was thinking all the time that if we could control our greed, it would make our lives easier or something more to become a richer life.

There is a psychology that Freud solves, that personality is formed by sexual desire, and it is indeed sexual desire and a very great desire.

It is not the only reason why men do all the things they do. But they have them in order to make women feel good about themselves.

The ordained Buddhists and Christian gurus are very stoic in their sexual behavior. But it is necessary for everyone?

I have decided to aim for something in the middle.

Because religion and teachings are wonderful, and there are many elements to take in, and I always learn from them.

But I have recently realized, as I have been transcribing my thoughts and outputting them in this way on my blog. That I have been thinking of all the external information elements from religious or someone’s opinion from internets are not a match for me.

I mean that something is still don’t know all me myself with my potential. That is why all the external information elements doesn’t match for me. And It is not maybe for every single people too.

For example,

I have read a lot of information on the Internet that says;

• If you do this, you will gain muscle.
• When you do this then you will be popular.
• If you work hard more and more, you will get more money.
• When you do this, you will be happy.

Thankfully, it has become very easy for me to receive knowledge that I didn’t even know existed.

But on the other hand, it can also lead you astray.

I don’t really know if the information is right for me or not.

If you want to know it, then You have to actually try it out.

Eventually, you have to make changes and rethink things in your own way with it.

It is very low-risk to try to follow someone else and imitate them.

But it is not 100% correct in the end.

No matter what the great man teaches, there are certain things that you have to do.

“You have to actually do this.” or “If you do it this way, it will work.” There is no such thing in this world.

It is all up to you to make your own choices and that is the most important thing.

And as a result, to be in the middle.

Not too much, but not enough.

But not enough is not fun either.

Too much love is too heavy for the other person, too little love is too boring for the other person.

If you have too much sexual desire, you will commit a crime, and if you have too little, you will become a man who cannot express his love.

Too little or too much appetite is detrimental to health.

If you have too much for sleep, your body will go crazy, and if you don’t sleep, your head will go crazy.

Think of it this way, I thought, “Ah, the middle is good.”

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all about balance.

Balance is very important. not for everyone but most of all people will keep balance is good.

The best position for me is in the middle.

It is neither right-leaning or left-leaning.

This is just my story, and it may not apply to everyone.

I am a person who moves like an animal, developing my own sensibility and controlling greed with human reason.

By doing so I am excited every day.

Since I learned that, I like myself more. I feel better than ever.

Buddha said that life is nothing but suffering.

If you are full of greed, it is suffering.

If you have no greed, life is suffering.

It is comfortable to be right in the middle of what you want.

You only live once.

Let’s enjoy every moment of it.

Thank you for reading.

To relate an article: How to understand you, do you know possibility?

It’s been a while since I watched The Matrix.

It’s an old movie but I really like it.

The images are very beautiful and the story is very exciting.

I do believe that most people watch this movie but If you have not seen this movie, I definitely recommend it.

The world we live in is a world where maybe the world we live in is not real or realistic at all, but something created by someone else. That was a great conception of the movie.

I thought that It may be something that is created by someone else in our world too. There is something about psychology and brain function that interests me.

So something that I felt through this film.

The scenes we see in our daily life, such as the smell of a flower, the sound of a river, the warmth of a human touch. From these things, we can feel fear, anxiety, joy, and excitement.

The brain interprets all these things as good or bad, and makes us feel them.

I realized that if my brain is fatigued, the wonderful scenery and music I am seeing now will not look so beautiful, nor will I perceive it as good music.

Sometimes I feel tired.

I have so much to do, but suddenly I feel unmotivated.

I wish I could just quit. But in most situations, it is not so easy to just quite. I think it is the same for everyone.

Work and school come even if you don’t want them to.

Childcare, daily chores, and the daily routine that you have set for yourself.

All of these things have to be completed in a day, and they go on day after day.

If you want to adapt to society, you can’t just stay in the mountains for the rest of your life.

However, for most of people that you can’t just stay in the mountains for the rest of your life.

So, what should we do?

It’s all about giving your brain a break, even if it’s just for an hour or a half hour.

It is to give your brain a rest.

You can train your brain by resting it after you use it.

Make a strategy to make a task you don’t like fun.

We cannot control what happens around us.

So, if we first train our brain to give it a break and give it good instructions.

You will feel everything in your own good direction.

We believe that the brain, organs, and muscles can all be trained.

If any part of the body is overused, it must be rested or it will break down.

Just as we all have different values.

Some people are moved by the beauty and strength of a flower just by looking at it, while others are not moved by the beauty and strength of a flower just by looking at it.

Others feel that it is just a sad creature that will soon wither and die.

I don’t think we need to be optimistic about everything. But we can at least try to make ourselves suffer so much that our brains.

If your brain is so fatigued that you have to stop working. And it would be better to sleep or meditate to rest your brain first, and then proceed.

Also, if you feel tired and unmotivated, it is effective to go outside.

How much rest is enough depends on the person. But in my case, just thinking about what I am thinking about in my life. And updating my blog like this is usually enough to relieve my fatigue.

I don’t think about the structure of the content.

I just write what I want to write naturally. It is because I am able to be so natural in my life and enjoy every day.

With these activities, I am able to train my brain, body, my senses, and my mind.

Once again to say, I am able to enjoy every day of my life.

I believe that living slowly and at my own pace

life will be richer.

Like in the Matrix. I will be able to live my life at my own pace, even when things happen that are far beyond my imagination.

I will be me, and I will be able to do things and make things happen.

And to believe that many things are possible and achievable.

Believing in myself is the most important thing.

I am glad that I was able to see a movie I saw a long time ago from a different perspective.

Thank you for reading.

To read an article which related to: [Mental Health] How to Overcome Your Worries 

This time of year is always so hectic that it’s hard to relax. Because I find myself a little frustrated.

I know that I am not the only one who is frustrated and I have come to think that it is not only me. And I feel that everyone’s mood is a little different from before.

Since the restrictions on various things caused by the coronavirus, or lately people worry about recession.

I think that the economic change has affected people’s moods.

For example, the mood of the people who would have been able to keep their shops open without the coronavirus.

Some people would have been able to keep their stores open if not for the coronavirus.

Now, some people who can’t go to work anymore. We don’t go out to eat with friends as much anymore.

We can no longer do the things I used to be able to do because our situation is always changing somehow.

This is very stressful.

Actually, I broke my leg a few years ago. I was very cautious of others, irritated with myself.

It was a very difficult time for me.

Speaking of inconvenient and difficult times, recently I feel that I have developed a distance from people.

Because I had to get away from people at a distance of 6feet.

At the time, I greeted my neighbors much less frequently each time I passed them.

With my mask and sunglasses (glasses) on, I can’t see their smiles or their physiognomy.

I am a worrier who asks how they are doing before I speak to them.

It is more difficult than before to initiate communication.

I think it has already become difficult to recognize who the other person is.

We tend to remember people by sight.

People with glasses and masks, I myself wear sunglasses and a mask. So, they frequently don’t even recognize me.

And I feel that the distance between us is gradually growing, like a wall.

What I am trying to say is I really think that I am a very social animal.

I have found myself in need of relationships with people because of these small differences.

When I was a child, my parents told me that I had always been very shy.

I think it was around junior high school and high school that I became more sociable, as if I had changed.

But this Corona experience showed me that my roots have not changed.

I travel, eat, and do everything alone.

I know that my time is very important.

Frankly, it is a very enjoyable time.

And I don’t want to belong to a society that forces me to be in sync with others.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with anyone.

I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not.

I just want to be one person who is real.

I think everyone has the desire to be needed or wanted by someone. But some people, like me, have a hard time trusting others.

A long-time friend of mine told me that when we get deep into a relationship, he can see 20% or so of a dark side to me.

He said that he couldn’t talk about it to me. Because he thought maybe it was about not wanting to be touched for me and He knew it was my habit of disliking and distrusting people who forced me to break that boundary.

I thought it came out and made it difficult for me to relate well to people.

That may sound like a shortcoming, but it is a part of who I am and I can’t throw it away.

However, I have come to realize that even if I try to force myself to trust people by pretending to be someone I am not, my tension won’t last, and in any case, in the end, I will be hazy.

In the past, I used to hide it and treat everyone cheerfully, responding to everyone in all directions.

But recently, I can’t do it in this pandemic and totally different circumstances, or I don’t have the energy to do it, or the other person doesn’t react well.

I sometimes felt that I was not cheerful, that I was not like myself.

But wait. I realized that I used to feel that I was not very active in talking, and that it was too much trouble to talk to my classmates during breaks at school.

I was the kind of weirdo who would sleep alone in the bathroom sink during school breaks because I didn’t want to talk to my classmates.

When I was in London for my internship.

He was always out of the group and wandered around by himself.

I used to annoy the teachers. So I wondered where my sociability had come from until a couple of years ago.

It came from the people around me who trusted me. The people around me who were making me feel open that way were the ones who were making me feel that way.

I realized that I was being sociable because of the people around me who made me feel that way, and because they did the same.

It was not that I was social, but that I and the people around me were relaxed.

Now, there is not enough room for everyone due to many things.

So the strange distance between us is understandable.

Things don’t go well with the people around us.

I don’t feel good about a lot of things.

You don’t have to think that it is because you have changed and are in a very low mood and force yourself to be nice.

You can live your life without forcing yourself to be nice, without forcing yourself to be a good person, without forcing yourself to be a good person on all sides.

I have decided that this is normal. And to stop thinking that there is something wrong with me, that I am wrong. And that eliminating the idea that there is something wrong with me or that it is my fault is the only way.

I am sure that to not pretend it will make my life richer and simpler.

Thank you for reading.

To read an article which related to: Better comes to don’t live of the social value

Having a good coffee at the usual Starbucks will soothe me.

Earlier today. I was suddenly thinking about possibilities. I actually just like this word. We all need some possibility in our life.

Possibility is a state where you are not sure if things are able to do it, but they are probable. I have been able to accomplish many seemingly impossible things. That I have experienced since I was a kid many years ago.

I have made it this far because I have believed in that possibility.

It was my belief in my own potential that led me to leave my hometown.

After I graduate a special school, I moved to live in Tokyo for work when I was 20 years old.

When I left Japan for the U.S., I also wanted to believe in my new possibilities. I enjoyed my time in Tokyo, but I always wondered if there was something more I could do. I always looking for something new with my interests.

But sometimes or somedays, It could find something insides of me. That I didn’t realize it before I came to the U.S. What that is that? I think about the possibility at first, I always get scared to do it. Suddenly, gets anxiety to try new things. I wish I could believe in myself easily, but it can not be sometimes. Because I noticed my problem on my mind.

I wanted to pursue where on earth this came from and what it is. If we don’t solve the problem, we will continue to live in fear of something. I wanted to avoid this.

Nowadays, I am trying to learn a dance such as salsa and bachata.

When I started to learn social dance, at social dance class, I felt fear.

It is “ballroom dancing”, you know what, actually I never see my possibilities with it. My dance is very unsmooth, what the hell beats dancing. I didn’t expect that you should know music at first for the dance.

Ballroom dancing is very difficult for leading ladies, I mean not just that dance. However, besides that, mistakes are usual. It is embarrassing and frustrating.

I wondered if I would ever really be able to dance well. And I became extremely afraid of making mistakes. I noticed that these feelings have been created since I was a kid in Japan.

From my experiences, I tell you this is for sure that., in Japan, you cannot make mistakes.

For example, when you make a mistake in your answer it is not good in class, everyone laughs at you.

It sounds crazy but it is true. If you make a mistake at school, job, or any circumstances, people will blame you for sure. So, I couldn’t make any mistakes in any situation. That was too much pressure every day.

Eventually, I don’t like the education system in Japan for these reasons.

If I express my opinion or do something wrong, people around me get angry or make fun of me.

Once, I tried to have the possibility to have a dream about becoming a soccer player in my childhood.

When I played on a team, I made a mistake. And I gave up on to play on the team. Because I was bullied by my teammates for the reason that I did not play well at games. Very sensitive and fragile in my childhood. I was always behind him my old brother to hide.

After all, I did lose confidence and passion to play soccer. I quit playing completely.

That was a nightmare if only I had believed in my skills and in myself at that time. Things that I would have fought for undaunted.

As a result, I was losing to myself. This is something I still think about even now as an adult, such as trauma. It is a big and they are deep inside of me. I didn’t know how to find it out and resolve.

And every time, I thought that I can’t make a mistake. I say nothing is better to not say any mistaken to people or friends. Even if I had a small things like talking with strangers at a café.

I had a hard time believing in my own potential because of that childhood experience. But I was able to change that, and it started to get better. Because I had a dialogue with myself.

When you can change your mind to recover from your old trauma.

I know it is not easy but there is some possibility.

For example, Let’s go back to your kids’ memories. Maybe you don’t want to remember something but you need to let it go.

Do you remember when you finally learned to ride a bicycle after falling and getting hurt? It is one of making the impossible become the possible which you’ve already did it before. It is not to believe in the impossible at the first place.

But you did to believe yourself in the possible way and keep moving forward.

There are so many things that you did believe in before. That we have challenged ourselves a lot because of it. We must not forget that.

If you have some problem with your past, we must accept these kinds of experiences. The experiences is under the below:

• Parents who don’t tolerate mistakes.
• Friends who use you or mount you.
• The biggest culprit is myself, who created a fear inside of your mind.

That experience is hard. But If you ignore them, it messes up your possibilities again and again. And you are scared of these people who make fun of you with mistakes.

To be honest with you.

My parents are great, but my kids’ experience with bully things was really bad. This has always hindered my potential. And after all, Dancing is really difficult to make it fun while leading with a smile in front of the girls. Because I don’t want people to laugh at me and failed.

My mind is like “I’m afraid”, “how am I not good at it”, “I am pathetic”, and I want to hide myself.

In a relationship, or a work presentation, and at an important game. When the time comes, my heart starts to move fast and my hands start to shake.

As a result, It sucks. So what can we do to eliminate this intention and fear?

This is the only way to think that failure is a possibility.

So let’s fail a lot!

This is the only way to do it. A person feels fear only about 167 milliseconds after seeing or hearing the feared object, and it is transmitted to the brain. Therefore, Avoidance will be difficult. Sorry for that tip.

In actions that would alleviate that deep breathing definitely make you calm. I tried to have a beer before nervousness. But it was a bad idea to make me sleepy and I couldn’t speak well at all. At lease, to try somethings what you can feel well with it.

And you need to know about fear of failure is not a bad thing.

There is no doubt that it reduces our chances. But we have to try not to be afraid of that failure. The way to avoid the fear of failure is to create your experience, patience, and the notion of failure is not bad.

Anyway, in Japan. I have had the experience of being pointed out every time.

I failed at something in several environments. And failure was considered a bad thing.
So, I think it is a very difficult task to remove the thorns that are deeply rooted in My heart and mind.

However, do deep breathing with an unconscious mind. Think about yourself what is your strength and importance.

I believe in my own potential. Accepting what I did before that was all I did with me and my possibility. And I am determined to keep on trying.

I believe that it is necessary to believe in myself.

In the beginning of the dance, I believe that fear of failure. I feel like I am getting used to it. And perseverance will increase our potential and help us develop the ability to handle difficult things.

First, we need to fundamentally rethink failure. And let it be input into our brains.

It doesn’t matter if you are not good at it. It is okay to fail. If you get angry at people because of your step is not good at, or if they hate you. It is all good.

Let it go your thought. If they make fun of you, it is okay, do not listen to them what they said to you. Because one day you will be able to do it. You know that. The trick is to keep your distance from those who make fun of you. Because it is very effective.

In fact, I have cut off all relations with people who are mounting me for doing so. Or who deny what I want to do out of the top of their heads. These people are never change to be an angel.

I think this is very important. It is not only to build relationships with people who only say nice things. But also to prevent people from thinking “I can’t do it”.

Things are never impossible. It is possible if you believe in the possibilities and do the research.

The same was true for reaching the moon. It is not impossible. Nothing is impossible.

It may be difficult at first, but it is not impossible.

That is why I know I can do it, no matter what people say.

Tell your brain that it is possible, and make in yourself an angel.

To make things possible, it is more necessary than anything else to have a dialogue with me, who is essentially your best ally.

Thank you for reading.

To related an article: Better comes to don’t live of the social value