When I hear the word “narcissist”, some people see it in a good way, on the other hand, others see it in a bad way.
In fact, there are many different types of narcissists and their tendencies and they all have different backgrounds as to how they came to be the way they are.
It seems that almost everyone has a little narcissism and no one has zero percent.
Depending on the degree of narcissism, some people are diagnosed with NPD, for example.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a personality disorder in which people who are unusually narcissistic than others have problems in their relationships, work, and life in various situations.
When I was a teenager, I wondered if I myself was a narcissist.
The reason was that I often looked in the mirror at a restroom, always worried about my hair style, and carried hair wax with me all the time.
What’s interesting is that people who live in Japan probably think “narcissists” is such a so-called “show-off,” but actually, it is not in the world.
I’m sure there are many people who are like me, they wonder, “Am I a narcissist?” As doing just fixing your hair all the time and checking or looking in the mirror is not narcissism, so don’t worry.
And if you are a real narcissistic person then you aren’t trying to know yourself by reading those kinds of articles. For instance, Many narcissists don’t even realize or think of themselves as narcissists.
People who are looking in the mirror 100 times in one hour may be hiding some problems.
Abnormal behavior or not stable acts that anyone can see is always a sign of some disorder.
So, for this time, I would like to talk about trends and types of narcissists.
This article is for;
- Those who want to know what a narcissist is.
- If you are surrounded by a narcissist and have trouble dealing with him or her.
- If you are wondering whether you are a narcissist or not.
For the reader who is worried about whether you are a narcissist or not, having problems dealing with them, this article is for you.
First of all, I would like to explain the following.
My knowledge of Japanese, a narcissist means a person who acts cool.
ナルシスト（narcissist） and ナルシシスト（narcissist） originally have the same meaning in English, but in Japan the meaning differs from person to person.
So, by looking in the mirror and checking about hair, some people make fun of them because of that “he is a narcissist(カッコつけ)” which happens to be very common in Japan.
In the world’s understanding of “narcissists,” there is no 100% correct answer, but let’s put aside that subtle difference, narcissists are people with low self-esteem, who do not have the slightest idea deep down that they are cool or love themselves.
And acting aggressive because they don’t want people to see their vulnerability or lack of confidence.
Only the way, they try to control or attack others by creating feelings of self-worth.
They develop this personality due to their traumas, sexual violence, excessive bullying, and an abusive or unloving childhood experiences.
There are different types of narcissism; Closet Narcissism, Exhibitionist narcissism, Malignant Narcissism by psychiatrist James L. Masterson (Hall 2019).
The closet, exhibitionist narcissisms, have both the same and different characteristics.
It is mentally unstable under the influence of low self-esteem, which is not normal, and it is particularly averse to shame for oneself and reacts to it in an exaggerated way.
It might be easier to describe it as “Menhera,” in Japanese. If you want to know about “Menhera,” the Urban dictionary mentioned it so please check it out. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Menhera
Some may think that Menhera and narcissists are completely different people, but in fact, they are the same in that they have very little self-love.
Because of their rigid and distorted thinking, they are unable to perceive what is happening in reality with their normal senses.
They lack self-awareness and empathy, they are unable to understand realistically, not thinking about the other person or even themselves.
What sets closet narcissists apart is that while they think they are special, but they tend to be extremely fearful of standing out, it is easily hurt by themselves.
For this reason, they can be jealous, angry, and sometimes cold toward others, hiding a dominant side.
Unlike other narcissists, they don’t like showing their savageness.
The closet narcissist is the most unwelcome of the narcissists personality, hiding among them his or her domineering behavior and desire for entitlement, so we barely cannot realize at first.
And the person who is the closet narcissist must have had a severely humiliating experience in the past.
It sounds pitiful to think so, but actually getting involved with them is for sure to be psychologically damaging to you.
When you go to Japan and date Menhera, that’s a scary thing in life though. You should be careful to know her/him as quickly as possible.
Next, the exhibitionist narcissist, contrary to the closet, will dominate others by being vain, showing that I am special, and saying things that they will over rate by themselves or don’t fit their stature.
They tend to use their charisma, intelligence, connections, and looks to somehow stand out and threaten others with stories of their superiority.
Since they think they are perfect or divine, they will not listen to them, which is troublesome.
When these personalities are their own bosses, politicians, or hold power, they will punish and destructively abuse those who are weak or disobedient, and they will make sure that all hell breaks loose.
Both closet and exhibitionist, They have only two perceptions for life: to be perfect or not to be perfect, and they will disappoint and condemn you if you betray them or disagree with them.
They take the negative feelings they have as if someone else is bringing them out. And they try to protect themselves.
Here is a simple example of what happened to one person’s tendency to be a narcissist.
When going out to eat with some people, the person’s attitude became overtly loud when we went to restaurants and other places.
The words he often said were,
“I’m a customer, and that waitress/waiter attitude is disrespectful.”
“I’m a customer!” to say out loud at a restaurant.
When he didn’t ask them to get water but when they didn’t get any water for him automatically, he would get angry and complain about how he was treated, which is a bad way.
He has something of unshakable value that is his value, and cannot allow others to trample on that value.
Also he wanted to show others that superior and special, and when he are not treated respectfully on his way, he blamed and sometimes lash out, this is truly narcissism.
Another example,
When several people went on a road trip, one person was afraid to take responsibility, so he asked others to make all the decisions for him.
The deciding words were,
“Everything will be fine. I’ll leave it to you.”
People who say this also have a tendency toward closet narcissism.
After all, If they don’t say anything then it’s fine, but most of these people who they say are okay, they actually don’t think okay at all and usually complain at the last.
But, they are afraid of making a decision and making a mistake, never decide.
Instead, if there is a mistake in preparation or arrangement others, there is not the slightest gratitude to the person who made all the decisions or made all the preparations,
They blame him/her, and then pass on the negative gossip to the people around them, making them feel left out. It is a preparatory step of manipulation.
Another tendency is that they are nice and gentle in their approach at first place.
They are always saying a lot of compliments to feel you good things like;
“Cool, you’re cute!”
“You’re awesome!”
“You’re great, you can do anything.”
“I’m on your side.”
“I’m your friend.”
And then, someday, you will realize that they are making you feel very uncomfortable.
When you express your opinion to them, they shut you down or make you feel ashamed, and you feel bad for yourself.
Because they say that they are your friend or family, and ask you to be nice to them.
At first, when people are friends or family members, many people will think like, “Well, they’re my friends, and they’re my family, so I have to take care of them or be nice to them a little bit right?
That feeling which normal people have, they will use it to manipulate you.
After that, you probably have to put up with something very unpleasant or unreasonable.
It’s just another sacrifice.
You need to leave or stop dealing with them.
Most of the time, if a narcissist is lurking in a close friend or family member, it is quite difficult to notice or is likely already in control.
If you are having trouble with a relationship or feel like you are being ingested in some way,
You may want to think again about what they are like in light of the tendency.
They can be human but maybe they don’t have human’s feeling or minds.
The last one is malignant narcissism.
This has characteristics of mixing closet and exhibitionist narcissism, but is aimed at ingestion and domination, as opposed to intimidating and attacking others with a defensive instinct against disillusionment and threat.
Horrible of the malignant characteristic that enjoys humiliating others.
It is emotionally defective toward others and violates others with impunity to relieve the inadequate self-esteem created by shame and trauma deep down inside.
I have yet to personally encounter this type of person, but I would guess that it is the government in countries where political corruption is taking place.
They are the ones who protect their position and weakness by killing or punishing those who disobey them, and feel no guilt about it.
In this way, there are many different tendencies and types of narcissists, and they are all mixed together in various ways.
In summary,
Narcissists and narcissists are formed from childhood and historical backgrounds, from old traumas and insults.
If you can know the tendencies, you can protect yourself.
If you do not want to deal with them or are having trouble dealing with them, I strongly recommend that you leave.
Some of you may find that talking to a narcissist does not bother you at all and is not a problem.
I myself have been researching this narcissism, I have some of these tendencies myself, so I guess we all have a few of these habits.
If you are wondering if you are a narcissist or not, you may need to have a talk with yourself once.
People who are not self-aware are also narcissists.
How much do you know about yourself?
What is making you suffered?
You may want to think about whether you are blaming friends, family, lovers, partners, people around you, society, or organizations for your feelings.
However, if you are able to look at articles and try to get to know you better then, I don’t think you’re not a narcissist.
You can take as many selfies as you want, without worrying about the first place.
I also took this opportunity to think about how I feel about other people and how I act toward them.
I hope this article will be of some help to you.
If you would like to know more about narcissists, I have posted links below to books that I have read and found helpful, so you might want to read them as well.
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the article.
ZenJin