Having a good coffee at the usual Starbucks will soothe me.
Earlier today. I was suddenly thinking about possibilities. I actually just like this word. We all need some possibility in our life.
Possibility is a state where you are not sure if things are able to do it, but they are probable. I have been able to accomplish many seemingly impossible things. That I have experienced since I was a kid many years ago.
I have made it this far because I have believed in that possibility.
It was my belief in my own potential that led me to leave my hometown.
After I graduate a special school, I moved to live in Tokyo for work when I was 20 years old.
When I left Japan for the U.S., I also wanted to believe in my new possibilities. I enjoyed my time in Tokyo, but I always wondered if there was something more I could do. I always looking for something new with my interests.
But sometimes or somedays, It could find something insides of me. That I didn’t realize it before I came to the U.S. What that is that? I think about the possibility at first, I always get scared to do it. Suddenly, gets anxiety to try new things. I wish I could believe in myself easily, but it can not be sometimes. Because I noticed my problem on my mind.
I wanted to pursue where on earth this came from and what it is. If we don’t solve the problem, we will continue to live in fear of something. I wanted to avoid this.
Nowadays, I am trying to learn a dance such as salsa and bachata.
When I started to learn social dance, at social dance class, I felt fear.
It is “ballroom dancing”, you know what, actually I never see my possibilities with it. My dance is very unsmooth, what the hell beats dancing. I didn’t expect that you should know music at first for the dance.
Ballroom dancing is very difficult for leading ladies, I mean not just that dance. However, besides that, mistakes are usual. It is embarrassing and frustrating.
I wondered if I would ever really be able to dance well. And I became extremely afraid of making mistakes. I noticed that these feelings have been created since I was a kid in Japan.
From my experiences, I tell you this is for sure that., in Japan, you cannot make mistakes.
For example, when you make a mistake in your answer it is not good in class, everyone laughs at you.
It sounds crazy but it is true. If you make a mistake at school, job, or any circumstances, people will blame you for sure. So, I couldn’t make any mistakes in any situation. That was too much pressure every day.
Eventually, I don’t like the education system in Japan for these reasons.
If I express my opinion or do something wrong, people around me get angry or make fun of me.
Once, I tried to have the possibility to have a dream about becoming a soccer player in my childhood.
When I played on a team, I made a mistake. And I gave up on to play on the team. Because I was bullied by my teammates for the reason that I did not play well at games. Very sensitive and fragile in my childhood. I was always behind him my old brother to hide.
After all, I did lose confidence and passion to play soccer. I quit playing completely.
That was a nightmare if only I had believed in my skills and in myself at that time. Things that I would have fought for undaunted.
As a result, I was losing to myself. This is something I still think about even now as an adult, such as trauma. It is a big and they are deep inside of me. I didn’t know how to find it out and resolve.
And every time, I thought that I can’t make a mistake. I say nothing is better to not say any mistaken to people or friends. Even if I had a small things like talking with strangers at a café.
I had a hard time believing in my own potential because of that childhood experience. But I was able to change that, and it started to get better. Because I had a dialogue with myself.
When you can change your mind to recover from your old trauma.
I know it is not easy but there is some possibility.
For example, Let’s go back to your kids’ memories. Maybe you don’t want to remember something but you need to let it go.
Do you remember when you finally learned to ride a bicycle after falling and getting hurt? It is one of making the impossible become the possible which you’ve already did it before. It is not to believe in the impossible at the first place.
But you did to believe yourself in the possible way and keep moving forward.
There are so many things that you did believe in before. That we have challenged ourselves a lot because of it. We must not forget that.
If you have some problem with your past, we must accept these kinds of experiences. The experiences is under the below:
- Parents who don’t tolerate mistakes.
- Friends who use you or mount you.
- The biggest culprit is myself, who created a fear inside of your mind.
That experience is hard. But If you ignore them, it messes up your possibilities again and again. And you are scared of these people who make fun of you with mistakes.
To be honest with you.
My parents are great, but my kids’ experience with bully things was really bad. This has always hindered my potential. And after all, Dancing is really difficult to make it fun while leading with a smile in front of the girls. Because I don’t want people to laugh at me and failed.
My mind is like “I’m afraid”, “how am I not good at it”, “I am pathetic”, and I want to hide myself.
In a relationship, or a work presentation, and at an important game. When the time comes, my heart starts to move fast and my hands start to shake.
As a result, It sucks. So what can we do to eliminate this intention and fear?
This is the only way to think that failure is a possibility.
So let’s fail a lot!
This is the only way to do it. A person feels fear only about 167 milliseconds after seeing or hearing the feared object, and it is transmitted to the brain. Therefore, Avoidance will be difficult. Sorry for that tip.
In actions that would alleviate that deep breathing definitely make you calm. I tried to have a beer before nervousness. But it was a bad idea to make me sleepy and I couldn’t speak well at all. At lease, to try somethings what you can feel well with it.
And you need to know about fear of failure is not a bad thing.
There is no doubt that it reduces our chances. But we have to try not to be afraid of that failure. The way to avoid the fear of failure is to create your experience, patience, and the notion of failure is not bad.
Anyway, in Japan. I have had the experience of being pointed out every time.
I failed at something in several environments. And failure was considered a bad thing.
So, I think it is a very difficult task to remove the thorns that are deeply rooted in My heart and mind.
However, do deep breathing with an unconscious mind. Think about yourself what is your strength and importance.
I believe in my own potential. Accepting what I did before that was all I did with me and my possibility. And I am determined to keep on trying.
I believe that it is necessary to believe in myself.
In the beginning of the dance, I believe that fear of failure. I feel like I am getting used to it. And perseverance will increase our potential and help us develop the ability to handle difficult things.
First, we need to fundamentally rethink failure. And let it be input into our brains.
It doesn’t matter if you are not good at it. It is okay to fail. If you get angry at people because of your step is not good at, or if they hate you. It is all good.
Let it go your thought. If they make fun of you, it is okay, do not listen to them what they said to you. Because one day you will be able to do it. You know that. The trick is to keep your distance from those who make fun of you. Because it is very effective.
In fact, I have cut off all relations with people who are mounting me for doing so. Or who deny what I want to do out of the top of their heads. These people are never change to be an angel.
I think this is very important. It is not only to build relationships with people who only say nice things. But also to prevent people from thinking “I can’t do it”.
Things are never impossible. It is possible if you believe in the possibilities and do the research.
The same was true for reaching the moon. It is not impossible. Nothing is impossible.
It may be difficult at first, but it is not impossible.
That is why I know I can do it, no matter what people say.
Tell your brain that it is possible, and make in yourself an angel.
To make things possible, it is more necessary than anything else to have a dialogue with me, who is essentially your best ally.
Thank you for reading.
To related an article: Better comes to don’t live of the social value