Some time ago, an old friend of mine asked me for advice at work.
He was surrounded by the smartest colleagues from Tokyo University which is the best university in Japan. He seemed to lose a little confidence.
When you are surrounded by a lot of great smartest people, your self-worthlessness goes down when you feel you have not enough.
Well, it also goes down when you look at social networking sites such as Instagram, TikTok etc., too much. Because everyone compares themselves to others.
It’s not uncommon for people to compare themselves and feel their spirits plummet.
When you feel down, what you need is: “Mental strength.”
Why I think so because all that happened to me as below in my mind:
- Compared to others, and then “I’m lame”.
- I was rejected from something, I don’t deserve to live.
- My company management is not going well, I want to quit my life with death.
Our world is very mean and life is full of things that can go wrong.
You may think that you are not supposed to be mentally strong under such circumstances. However, it all happened to beat us.
It is precisely because of this situation that you need to make a change within yourself.
The methods of “mental strengthening” are:
Eliminate the time of self-denial.
Many people spend a lot of time thinking, “Why can’t I do well?”, when they have some problems in their life. That they hurt themselves mentally.
Let’s stop this. The way to stop is very simple. First, you must learn to shift your thinking.
For example:
- Exercising or weight training.
- Meditate.
- Play a guitar or other musical instrument. (Hobbies, etc., that you can immerse yourself in.)
- Playing video games.( For Fun)
- Talking with friends. (Conversation with focus. The point is not to let the information in question grow inside you = stop, let it stay, don’t let it get any bigger.)
When your brain is thinking something about this or that, you can only do so by concentrating.
The key is to do something that will change your thinking about the problem or do not think about the problem at all.
After you do that thoughts can be changed. It is important to realize it.
The brain ‘understands’ that there is a time when what you were thinking about earlier is no longer bothering you because you are concentrating on something else.
Simply by exercising, you are saying that your worries will go away. Worry is born from thinking about this and that on your own.
You can realize this.
If you can use it well, you may be able to know yourself by worrying a lot, but when I worry, I hit rock bottom and time just goes on and on.
There were many times when I was so distressed that I shut myself in my shell and could not take action.
However, no matter how much you worry, you will never become mentally strong.
And “change” will not come on its own.
Go somewhere and Take action before worrying.
By taking action, you can create a change point in your life. It takes time to see immediate results from taking action, however, once you notice the changes in your brain, you will gradually stop thinking about your problems if you take action.
In fact, it is that simple.
You will realize that the longer you think negatively, the more anxious you will become. Change your thinking from negative to positive.
You may tell me that I find it difficult to change your thinking now. If you take “action” immediately after worrying for 5 seconds, do it this way, then you will realize that you can change your thinking right away. When you are worried again for a moment, take action as soon as possible.
Since I came to the U.S., I have experienced that I have been mentally damaged by “mean people who don’t like others,” “language and cultural differences,” “alienation,” and so on. I experienced many failures, and there was a time when I thought I was worthless compared to those around me.
I was thinking a bad mind all that time as below;
- To think who I am short, thin, and a loser.
- No adaptation in the U.S society.
- I can’t emulate the cool style of Americans.
- He (my colleague) is more successful. I envy them.
- I can’t communicate in English and not confident at all.
- Feel unfavorable because I can’t get a seat of my choice in a restaurant.
If you continue to think negative thoughts like these (self-denial) every day, you will become depressed, and these thoughts will only increase your worries and complexes.
If you turn this thought around, you can realize who you want to be.
In fact, those negative thoughts that the goal or purpose is hidden;
- Challenge to make your body bigger, then start some exercise and weight training.
- I can’t have the American style, but I want to be cool with Japanese’s style. Then I can be fashionable.
- Be recognized by your coworkers. I don’t fit in here then just start a business on my own.
- I want to improve my English, so find a language partner or study up more.
- If I feel like unnecessary person in a restaurant, It is just being self-hating in my mind. I am not worthless person, so just don’t give a fuck and being myself.
It is essential to change your negative thinking. The reason I don’t worry so much these days is because I know how I am able to change my thoughts.
Simply, I have reduced the amount of time I spend in self-denial, saying, “I can’t do it”.
I spend much less time thinking about my problems.
The time you spend worrying and feeling down can be made into meaningful time by taking “action”.
No self-denial = action = have a mental strength
In summary,
The way to strengthen your mentality is: After shifting your thoughts of self-denial, continue to take action toward the person you want to be.
When self-denial is eliminated, you will naturally stop worrying.
And the “action” of total concentration to stop thinking will also lead to an increase in self-affirmation.
All in all, you can create a win-win situation.
It’s super easy.
Once you stop worrying and it is awesome.
I notice it all the time after lifting the barbells a few times. When I am not thinking about my worries, I feel alive. Let’s also divert our negative thoughts for the better and make it easier to live in the present moment.
Thank you for reading.
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