Author: dresslake_x42zuc

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Do not pretend to be something you are not

woman in yellow tshirt and beige jacket holding a fruit stand

This time of year is always so hectic that it’s hard to relax. Because I find myself a little frustrated.

I know that I am not the only one who is frustrated and I have come to think that it is not only me. And I feel that everyone’s mood is a little different from before.

Since the restrictions on various things caused by the coronavirus, or lately people worry about recession.

I think that the economic change has affected people’s moods.

For example, the mood of the people who would have been able to keep their shops open without the coronavirus.

Some people would have been able to keep their stores open if not for the coronavirus.

Now, some people who can’t go to work anymore. We don’t go out to eat with friends as much anymore.

We can no longer do the things I used to be able to do because our situation is always changing somehow.

This is very stressful.

Actually, I broke my leg a few years ago. I was very cautious of others, irritated with myself.

It was a very difficult time for me.

Speaking of inconvenient and difficult times, recently I feel that I have developed a distance from people.

Because I had to get away from people at a distance of 6feet.

At the time, I greeted my neighbors much less frequently each time I passed them.

With my mask and sunglasses (glasses) on, I can’t see their smiles or their physiognomy.

I am a worrier who asks how they are doing before I speak to them.

It is more difficult than before to initiate communication.

I think it has already become difficult to recognize who the other person is.

We tend to remember people by sight.

People with glasses and masks, I myself wear sunglasses and a mask. So, they frequently don’t even recognize me.

And I feel that the distance between us is gradually growing, like a wall.

What I am trying to say is I really think that I am a very social animal.

I have found myself in need of relationships with people because of these small differences.

When I was a child, my parents told me that I had always been very shy.

I think it was around junior high school and high school that I became more sociable, as if I had changed.

But this Corona experience showed me that my roots have not changed.

I travel, eat, and do everything alone.

I know that my time is very important.

Frankly, it is a very enjoyable time.

And I don’t want to belong to a society that forces me to be in sync with others.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with anyone.

I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not.

I just want to be one person who is real.

snow city road landscape
Photo by Luis Moya on Pexels.com

I think everyone has the desire to be needed or wanted by someone. But some people, like me, have a hard time trusting others.

A long-time friend of mine told me that when we get deep into a relationship, he can see 20% or so of a dark side to me.

He said that he couldn’t talk about it to me. Because he thought maybe it was about not wanting to be touched for me and He knew it was my habit of disliking and distrusting people who forced me to break that boundary.

I thought it came out and made it difficult for me to relate well to people.

That may sound like a shortcoming, but it is a part of who I am and I can’t throw it away.

However, I have come to realize that even if I try to force myself to trust people by pretending to be someone I am not, my tension won’t last, and in any case, in the end, I will be hazy.

In the past, I used to hide it and treat everyone cheerfully, responding to everyone in all directions.

But recently, I can’t do it in this pandemic and totally different circumstances, or I don’t have the energy to do it, or the other person doesn’t react well.

I sometimes felt that I was not cheerful, that I was not like myself.

But wait. I realized that I used to feel that I was not very active in talking, and that it was too much trouble to talk to my classmates during breaks at school.

I was the kind of weirdo who would sleep alone in the bathroom sink during school breaks because I didn’t want to talk to my classmates.

When I was in London for my internship.

He was always out of the group and wandered around by himself.

I used to annoy the teachers. So I wondered where my sociability had come from until a couple of years ago.

It came from the people around me who trusted me. The people around me who were making me feel open that way were the ones who were making me feel that way.

I realized that I was being sociable because of the people around me who made me feel that way, and because they did the same.

It was not that I was social, but that I and the people around me were relaxed.

Now, there is not enough room for everyone due to many things.

So the strange distance between us is understandable.

Things don’t go well with the people around us.

I don’t feel good about a lot of things.

You don’t have to think that it is because you have changed and are in a very low mood and force yourself to be nice.

You can live your life without forcing yourself to be nice, without forcing yourself to be a good person, without forcing yourself to be a good person on all sides.

I have decided that this is normal. And to stop thinking that there is something wrong with me, that I am wrong. And that eliminating the idea that there is something wrong with me or that it is my fault is the only way.

I am sure that to not pretend it will make my life richer and simpler.

Thank you for reading.

To read an article which related to: Better comes to don’t live of the social value

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Be aware What makes a man attractive to a female

erotic diverse couple embracing in shower

As long as you were born a man.

I think it is a natural feeling for a straight male to want to be popular or noticed with women.

There are many strategy books and videos on the market on how to get women to be conscious of you as a man, and I have found myself getting more and more confused as I try to get such information into my brain. You know what I want to say? There are too many techniques in the relationships between men and women.

Until recently, I was very conscious about sex desire, such as masturbating, having sex with random women, watching porn, etc.

I have finally realized that many men fall into this trap and are not seen as men by women, so I thought I would share my experience.

This article is for:

  • Those who want to be noticed as a man by women.
  • If you want to have courage and be yourself.
  • Those who don’t know how to live their lives because of their addiction in their own way.

This is an article for men, but the content will be helpful for women as well.

Men live in an age where we can find a lot of wisdom on the Internet and in books about how to make women more aware of them and attract them.

I am grateful for that. Because all that information came from a man who had experience with women.

Frankly speaking, I think that there is a lot of effective knowledge that can be obtained from such online information. The reason for this is that many people have introduced how to get women to fall for them based on their successful experiences, so I think it’s solid.

The most common ones are; Men should try to ignore their emails, texts, and calls. And make them feel like an unattainable man. Not chasing women.

Women are not interested in what is easy to get, that is obviously so it is definitely effective to increase your value in that way. Actually, from my experience, I wasn’t ready to engage any women before that the women were always chasing me.

However, Sometimes a man is mistaken, because it will not work if he is not interested in them, and if he uses it from the beginning, it will not work. I also made mistakes when I used to play this kind of game in my own relationships.

This does not make women see you as a man because you are looking at the wrong thing. I think that when you are playing games in relationships, then you are not a man anymore.

I understand why you want to have attention from women even if you are playing games. Because we all want to have sex with women. It’s the only way.

I always thought I wanted to have sex with a girl who was cute or interesting. Why not, right? Men always think that with every woman they meet in every situation, maybe. Well, I don’t mean all men, but the men who are not seen as men by women have that kind of brain.

Changing this is critical to becoming a man who is conscious of women.

Even if you don’t say that you are sexually dependent, women already know that you watch porn and masturbate excessively. Even if they don’t know what they actually are doing, they feel it instinctively. Some parts, we are animals.

And If the sexual desire is too strong, Men will not be conscious of other things.

  • Work is neglected. (And you don’t even realize it)
  • Watching porn or having erotic fantasies rather than spending time on hobbies or meditation. (Unconsciously)
  • I immediately imagine erotic fantasies even when reading books, driving a car, whatever you are doing somethings. (Unconsciously)
  • You can’t study. (Unmotivated)
  • Even if I go to the gym to do weight training, you can’t concentrate because you’re thinking and looking at women’s buttocks. (well, you will notice this by yourself)
  • When you see a cute girl, you keep chasing her with your eyes. (This is also unconscious, every time women pass by)

Most of the time, the brain of a sex-crazed man is like this.

This situation is pretty bad.

Before I realized this, eroticism came to me when I meditated(zazen) all that time.

After I realized this, women do not see me as a man because I had an issue in all sexual matters, they knew that what is in my brain, and since this was happening in an unconscious state, I felt that I had to stop this first.

That’s right.

In order to become a man who is conscious of women and attract them, you must change your own brain, not by playing them and controlling them, but first you must change your own sexual awareness of women.

close up photo of couple facing each other
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

Women are not erotic tools.

They are not only for giving birth to children and sex.

I understand that it is instinctive to have sexual feelings for women, but when it comes time to do something with a woman, you should just let it out. But, all other times like you are putting them out that are in the wrong place.

Male attraction arises from the fact that the first step is to avoid looking at women as sexual objects as much as possible.

The way to do this is simple.

Stay away from everything that causes sexual desire.

Don’t watch porn, and chase women with your eyes, and don’t look at cute girls on social media, etc. It’s like being a monk. Just do this. Focus on what you do right now. As you do this, it is important to realize how you used to see women only as sexual objects.

Then you will enjoy the time you spend working out. You will be more and more motivated to work, read, do strength training, etc.

As you become less sexually dependent, you will become more aware of other things.

When this happens, gradually more women become aware of you as a man. Women will talk to you. But even then, wait, be a gentleman. That is how you can stop being a man who is confused by sexual desire. And become a real ‘unreachable man’ without having to play the part.

They are capable of feeling it.

Trust women.

Women find a man attractive when he works hard, when he does what he loves, and he pursues his dreams. And we men can focus more and more on ourselves because we are not distracted by women, so we definitely get better results in everything.

It makes your life a hundred times more enjoyable.

Please suppress your immediate desire to be popular by women, and your sexual desire, and spend more time working on yourself.

This is the most powerful way to make women interested and aware of you.

I was lost for quite some time, but I finally came back to the realization that don’t look at women only in terms of sex, and don’t treat them as such. This will increase your attractiveness and make you happier in your life.

I hope this article will be meaningful in your life. We can work together to make you more and more attractive to men!

Thank you for reading.

To relate an article: Dumped Men Hurts? How to Overcome a Painful Heartbreak

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How to understand you, do you know possibility?

impossible text

Having a good coffee at the usual Starbucks will soothe me.

Earlier today. I was suddenly thinking about possibilities. I actually just like this word. We all need some possibility in our life.

Possibility is a state where you are not sure if things are able to do it, but they are probable. I have been able to accomplish many seemingly impossible things. That I have experienced since I was a kid many years ago.

I have made it this far because I have believed in that possibility.

It was my belief in my own potential that led me to leave my hometown.

After I graduate a special school, I moved to live in Tokyo for work when I was 20 years old.

When I left Japan for the U.S., I also wanted to believe in my new possibilities. I enjoyed my time in Tokyo, but I always wondered if there was something more I could do. I always looking for something new with my interests.

But sometimes or somedays, It could find something insides of me. That I didn’t realize it before I came to the U.S. What that is that? I think about the possibility at first, I always get scared to do it. Suddenly, gets anxiety to try new things. I wish I could believe in myself easily, but it can not be sometimes. Because I noticed my problem on my mind.

I wanted to pursue where on earth this came from and what it is. If we don’t solve the problem, we will continue to live in fear of something. I wanted to avoid this.

Nowadays, I am trying to learn a dance such as salsa and bachata.

When I started to learn social dance, at social dance class, I felt fear.

It is “ballroom dancing”, you know what, actually I never see my possibilities with it. My dance is very unsmooth, what the hell beats dancing. I didn’t expect that you should know music at first for the dance.

Ballroom dancing is very difficult for leading ladies, I mean not just that dance. However, besides that, mistakes are usual. It is embarrassing and frustrating.

I wondered if I would ever really be able to dance well. And I became extremely afraid of making mistakes. I noticed that these feelings have been created since I was a kid in Japan.

From my experiences, I tell you this is for sure that., in Japan, you cannot make mistakes.

For example, when you make a mistake in your answer it is not good in class, everyone laughs at you.

It sounds crazy but it is true. If you make a mistake at school, job, or any circumstances, people will blame you for sure. So, I couldn’t make any mistakes in any situation. That was too much pressure every day.

Eventually, I don’t like the education system in Japan for these reasons.

If I express my opinion or do something wrong, people around me get angry or make fun of me.

Once, I tried to have the possibility to have a dream about becoming a soccer player in my childhood.

When I played on a team, I made a mistake. And I gave up on to play on the team. Because I was bullied by my teammates for the reason that I did not play well at games. Very sensitive and fragile in my childhood. I was always behind him my old brother to hide.

After all, I did lose confidence and passion to play soccer. I quit playing completely.

That was a nightmare if only I had believed in my skills and in myself at that time. Things that I would have fought for undaunted.

As a result, I was losing to myself. This is something I still think about even now as an adult, such as trauma. It is a big and they are deep inside of me. I didn’t know how to find it out and resolve.

And every time, I thought that I can’t make a mistake. I say nothing is better to not say any mistaken to people or friends. Even if I had a small things like talking with strangers at a café.

I had a hard time believing in my own potential because of that childhood experience. But I was able to change that, and it started to get better. Because I had a dialogue with myself.

When you can change your mind to recover from your old trauma.

I know it is not easy but there is some possibility.

For example, Let’s go back to your kids’ memories. Maybe you don’t want to remember something but you need to let it go.

Do you remember when you finally learned to ride a bicycle after falling and getting hurt? It is one of making the impossible become the possible which you’ve already did it before. It is not to believe in the impossible at the first place.

But you did to believe yourself in the possible way and keep moving forward.

There are so many things that you did believe in before. That we have challenged ourselves a lot because of it. We must not forget that.

If you have some problem with your past, we must accept these kinds of experiences. The experiences is under the below:

  • Parents who don’t tolerate mistakes.
  • Friends who use you or mount you.
  • The biggest culprit is myself, who created a fear inside of your mind.

That experience is hard. But If you ignore them, it messes up your possibilities again and again. And you are scared of these people who make fun of you with mistakes.

To be honest with you.

My parents are great, but my kids’ experience with bully things was really bad. This has always hindered my potential. And after all, Dancing is really difficult to make it fun while leading with a smile in front of the girls. Because I don’t want people to laugh at me and failed.

My mind is like “I’m afraid”, “how am I not good at it”, “I am pathetic”, and I want to hide myself.

In a relationship, or a work presentation, and at an important game. When the time comes, my heart starts to move fast and my hands start to shake.

As a result, It sucks. So what can we do to eliminate this intention and fear?

This is the only way to think that failure is a possibility.

So let’s fail a lot!

This is the only way to do it. A person feels fear only about 167 milliseconds after seeing or hearing the feared object, and it is transmitted to the brain. Therefore, Avoidance will be difficult. Sorry for that tip.

In actions that would alleviate that deep breathing definitely make you calm. I tried to have a beer before nervousness. But it was a bad idea to make me sleepy and I couldn’t speak well at all. At lease, to try somethings what you can feel well with it.

And you need to know about fear of failure is not a bad thing.

There is no doubt that it reduces our chances. But we have to try not to be afraid of that failure. The way to avoid the fear of failure is to create your experience, patience, and the notion of failure is not bad.

Anyway, in Japan. I have had the experience of being pointed out every time.

I failed at something in several environments. And failure was considered a bad thing.
So, I think it is a very difficult task to remove the thorns that are deeply rooted in My heart and mind.

However, do deep breathing with an unconscious mind. Think about yourself what is your strength and importance.

I believe in my own potential. Accepting what I did before that was all I did with me and my possibility. And I am determined to keep on trying.

I believe that it is necessary to believe in myself.

In the beginning of the dance, I believe that fear of failure. I feel like I am getting used to it. And perseverance will increase our potential and help us develop the ability to handle difficult things.

First, we need to fundamentally rethink failure. And let it be input into our brains.

It doesn’t matter if you are not good at it. It is okay to fail. If you get angry at people because of your step is not good at, or if they hate you. It is all good.

Let it go your thought. If they make fun of you, it is okay, do not listen to them what they said to you. Because one day you will be able to do it. You know that. The trick is to keep your distance from those who make fun of you. Because it is very effective.

In fact, I have cut off all relations with people who are mounting me for doing so. Or who deny what I want to do out of the top of their heads. These people are never change to be an angel.

I think this is very important. It is not only to build relationships with people who only say nice things. But also to prevent people from thinking “I can’t do it”.

Things are never impossible. It is possible if you believe in the possibilities and do the research.

person riding a bicycle
Photo by Bianca Gasparoto on Pexels.com

The same was true for reaching the moon. It is not impossible. Nothing is impossible.

It may be difficult at first, but it is not impossible.

That is why I know I can do it, no matter what people say.

Tell your brain that it is possible, and make in yourself an angel.

To make things possible, it is more necessary than anything else to have a dialogue with me, who is essentially your best ally.

Thank you for reading.

To related an article: Better comes to don’t live of the social value

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[social anxiety] Do They gives You feel stupid?

a girl in white long sleeves using a smartphone

I think everyone has felt the difficulty of socializing with others sometimes. Basically, I am loyal, independent. And other sides are selfish and stubborn.

My personality will make it difficult time to accept other people’s advice.

That is so, I feel bad because I cannot take advice from people.

Because I rarely accept advice given to me by others. For that I feel like I don’t have enough room in my heart to accept their opinions. Well, this is my personality. I have a lot of pride and it has something to do with it.

Maybe, when I think someone is right to tell me. But I need to have taken enough time with it. Or the thing is that at least I need to try it first. And eventually, I can accept their positive advice.

Because the person giving the advice does not accept it, especially if it is something that has not been tried and seen, because the advice itself is not accurate.

However, I have a hard time accepting negative advice from anyone.

For example, I decided on new things and purpose. And saying quit a job, go wandering abroad or change my career. I thought this could be a big change in my life. And I know there is always a risk to try new things. I talked about it to my friends and they gave me a negative answer.

Such as he or she advised me not to do that at all even though I’ve never tried it yet. Why they recommended it is not because he or she thinks about my career. It is worthwhile and that it is a waste of time.

Okay, another example here.

I told my friend about my experience of someone who was upset when I warned him or her who was cutting in line. When I told him about it, he said, “That’s because you’ve been licked.” And I was like, “what the hell?” I thought he would be my ally. But I received a negative attitude. And I never tell him something that I thought was a good thing I did in my life or anything.

When I think about my personality deeply, I need to take care of my condition.

I realized that I was uncomfortable with people who had negative opinions.

I was told by people that something I liked or wanted to do then they said that it was wrong. And try to change my opinion which something that they believed. Some people may take it as, “You don’t have to worry about that.” Fundamentally, I don’t think anyone likes to be denied your thoughts.

From my experiences, I once advised an employee. “If you do it that way, it won’t work.” I may have rejected her way of doing things. Because it didn’t work that way. At the time, I remember she cried because she couldn’t do it the same way I did and it wouldn’t work.

I thought my advice was a good thing for her, but it was also my ego.

It was like I wish she’s going to have better sales for her sake. But she didn’t want to be and It was just that I wanted to give advice to her. It is all my perspective that I want to be a good manager for her.

If she wanted to get a reference for my opinions, I should give her. But if I wanted to give it to her, that is controlling her. I learned that from my experience. That is if I think it will be a good thing for people to do what I think but sometimes it goes opposed.

Most of the people who give negative opinions and advice to others are not trying to make the other person feel good. They want to feel good about themselves to change and manipulate us instead.

They are trying to look good for their sake. It may be to defend their position. Even if we don’t notice sometimes that it is to force your own thoughts and feelings on the other person. After she cried, I thought what I did to her was very arrogant to say.

What the other person does not want is not good for them either. What we need to help them is take them so they should think for themselves.

And of course, it is one thing to warn someone about something they should not do. It is such as not keeping a promise or committing a criminal act.

Is it for them to reject your opinion and put your own opinion over theirs?

Something like people have entered your house without your permission. And they suddenly say that it is a horrible painting and deny a picture of your room which is your value. Because they want to tell their worth, and give a shit on you.

Is it really for the other person’s benefit to deny and try to correct things? When we deny someone, it is usually when we cannot accept things as they are.

And at the same time they are not satisfied with themselves. That is why saying something negative gives others a good feel.

I have come to think that what we really need to pay attention to is our own feelings toward the other person.

See things as it is and don’t deny it, let it be. Love shouldn’t hurt.

Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

The same goes for work, friends, and relationships.

It is not real kindness or love to deny or correct someone.

You don’t have to force things to work out.

Just accept the person who they are and don’t control them by your ego. People just need to watch over him or her so that they can live his or her life in his or her own way. If they ask us to help, then we help them with our knowledge, love and forgiveness.

I think that is the best thing to do.

After you can follow this to not judge them at first point. You can really help them with your kids, your partner, your friends, and all of the people around you. It needs a patient.

You know we sometimes completely don’t notice what we give to someone’s feel harsh. I saw so many bad accidents to suicidal news because social network destroy them value and what they believed. Someone just doesn’t care what to say to people and they don’t take any responsibility for that.

Please note that under below the word:

  • Perhaps my words or yours may make a person into a worthless person.
  • Maybe my words or you may be making a person sad.
  • probably my words or yours are killing people.

Words, no matter how small, can destroy self-esteem. We should be careful to use our words. Even if it is a good thing for your friends, it is maybe not for them sometimes. They don’t want to hear your advice or opinions.

We are all very sensitive and vulnerable.

Recently, I was asked a question about what it means not to judge people. My answer was about “not judging people based on what they have.” But now I changed and it was “not to deny people’s personality and accept all.”

We should protect our own hearts and thoughts. If we are not protecting at all, someone knows it and manipulated you. You probably need to consider the other person’s intention to not give your opinion in the first place. And you do not need to be forcibly grateful for them.

What you really need to be is what you really need to do is that don’t be distracted by things like, “I should be thankful,” or “I’ll be happy while I’m being told.

When you give advice to others, you need to help them when they ask for it without first thinking of yourself.

Whether at work or in love, you can enrich the people around you and your own heart by first understanding them and not imposing only your own opinion on them.

I hope this article will help your relationships, work environments, and love your kids.

Thank you for reading.

To related an article: Love is Knowing True Hearts with All Their Hearts

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Better comes to don’t live of the social value

person standing on hand rails with arms wide open facing the mountains and clouds

How satisfied are you with your life?

I was always looking for something to be satisfied with.

Such as,

  • Having a lot of friends.
  • Having a girlfriend who does not pretend to be a lonely person.
  • Earning a lot of money.
  • A luxury car.
  • Having some events with famous people, etc.

But, I thought I couldn’t be satisfied with whatever I have. The expression “satisfaction” may sound a little bit strange.

However, I had learned something from ‘William Ury’s book’ that I was reading a bit ago. So I decided to talk about it.

How to be happy is changing your perspective.

After all, the best and worst situations are depending on from person to person’s minds.

How about this situation with your mind below?

Normally, People think this way. If you won the lottery one million dollars, It’s a very lucky situation that you think. On the other hand, If you lose all your money then you will feel very unsatisfied in life.

Is it right in general?

Basically, the standard of unhappiness value and unsatisfaction is depending on your perspective by human society values.

I truly think that. With another examples,

Married people are happy. But People who aren’t married yet are not happy. I thought so like that before.

If the man has a lot of friends are having a party every day. That looks like a cool guy, very valuable. On the other hand, the man who doesn’t have a friend and a wife. That is like looking like a loser from all the information in our society.

I mean that there is a society making me think so. It is 100 % for sure related.

Lately, Living in our society. It is giving us so much information. Television, social networks, and the Internet are making our minds attacked by a disease. Such as anxiety, fear, and anger. It makes complicated things that make us happy. I also felt that the right brain. With the five senses, the power might be weakened.

Sometimes, I feel worried about tomorrow, future . It is not focused on how to live now.

In this condition under the circumstances. I cannot really enjoy the inspiration of the music or the vibe of the scenery.

Well, surely we need money. And a job is important too when thinking about our future goals. Because all that we have bills for everything to live. For rent, gas, food, etc.

Maybe you completely don’t care about money. Or a job for the future. You will probably lose a job first. And then the money is all gone. After that, the wife and kids leave you. And lose your motivation to live your life.

Eventually, you’re thinking of choosing life, Death or alive.

Or, You can be chosen forever alone until you die.

However, the standard value by itself depends on the person.

Values ​​differ depending on where you were born. And the environment. But the best thing is knowing other perspectives.

I’m glad to learn different life values in the United States now. I am feeling cultivated new in my perspective. Because If I didn’t leave my country, I would never know others’ perspectives. To how they live their life with their values.

There are many more common senses in the world. But even those common senses are not for all. I realized that it is very important to have my perspective. With not the social value.

Believe it.

And be a person who is a man of principle.

I feel that it is the most necessary thing in our society now.

Having your own perspective. It means not to be a selfish person. We need to think about our value ourselves. And our thoughts first.

To consider others’ thoughts too. It can take good care of yourself. At the same time love others. How to live better with it is not judging the values ​​on the other person. And either not living in the values ​​of others.

Please help yourself first too. And not just help others, you need to take care of yourself too. I think that is about living from your perspective. And to create a strong mind by believing in yourself.

Better life comes with don’t care of the social values.

Focus on you now.

life is now neon signage
Photo by Elina Fairytale on Pexels.com

No Job, No wife, No money, No house, No car. So, then I am an unhappy person. That those are not necessary thoughts.

You’re not a person who is not loved by anyone because you cannot get married, that is not true.

Life-changing with your perspective.

Why do they feel anxiety? It’s because we’re always looking for something.

Some exciting information about our needs. They keep messing up our brain. And we think about what we are missing right now. And they want us to buy products, spending more money.

Because the brain makes us think so, every time I read a book, I get some inspiration.

Happiness is decided by ourselves.

We can change that at any time, whatever the circumstances we are, it’s all up to us.

Life is very benevolent.

It doesn’t have to feel satisfying. Because it is never the end what if we have or don’t have with any circumstances. Just always focus on yourself. Calm down by thinking about things deeply.

I thought about everything that it doesn’t matter how much money I have. Also about having a lot of friends or not. I just need to live in peace and calm from my own perspective.

How satisfied are you?

That question is what my friends asked me before. I remember that we were talking about happiness levels. As I said, the evaluation of myself was very strict and low. It was like I thought I answered about 30% with my satisfaction in my life.

At the time, my thoughts were an evaluation of social values. It must have been a happiness level of social standards.

But It didn’t matter by now. Because I realized that I was doing something meaningless to think of myself as unhappy.

It depends on my thoughts. Now we can be happy from this moment.

It doesn’t matter who we are. We are the one and only. Well now, I am sitting on the couch and the smell of coffee makes me feel so good.

Somehow my favorite music is flowing from behind my head at the same time. It’s a very luxurious time. To use your five senses to enrich your life.

Enjoy, Thank your reading.

To related this article: How to live better, love and believe in yourself

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How to live better, love and believe in yourself

motivational text on yellow background

Since I started boxing, I feel better than ever.


And I used to have a patient to deal with muscle pain in my back that I have never experienced before.

I am kind of feeling good right now. Because I felt like improving my punching skill a little bit with learning the correct form day by day.

About yesterday, I went out to a restaurant with my friend who is religious with Christian. At that time, he told me a theory from the Bible, and he said that like,,

If you believe the words you say by yourself, you will be a success with it.

However, I arbitrarily interpreted the word as “love and believe in yourself.” for my concern.

Unfortunately, sometimes I can’t believe the words which I say to myself. For example, I will be a rich guy, buy a big house, and have a wonderful wife and make a wonderful family. Those words are what I used to say a long time ago.

And I recently said to myself that I just want to feel free to live with a little money. That goal is big in my mind now.

Hey, me man, wait!

Before You (me) said that it has completely different goals before that! ( my conscience.)

My friend who is a guy told me a quote of success. He married. And have a wonderful wife and two children. Recently, he seems very motivated. Because I just established a company. On the other hand, I also felt that stress from him was hidden in the situation where he needed a lot of money to spend.

He said to me that “I want to be a rich man.”

However, I also felt that he wants to be a success.

After dinner with him, I was thinking to myself.

I wondered if I believed in what I was saying before for my future or my dream and my mind was messing about last night. Somehow, I was wondering if I’m just escaping from difficult dreams to an easier way of life.

As explained in the greed of the Buddhist language, and I realize that the desire for a big is evil and it is good to be content with what is now.

Now, I am learning Zen and meditate myself often. And why am I trying to get the opposite idea from what I used to think,,.


That conflict with it, and it is painful.

When I talked with him about a new business and talked about money, I just didn’t feel like it. Not long ago, I was actively trying to incorporate things that seemed to be profitable.

Where did my feelings go at that time?

I’m sure that I felt like he looked like me before somewhere, comparing all of myself in the past and ideal future with me now.

And I was wondering if I should have been more like having a great life than now. Currently, I have no children, no wife who promises the future. So I don’t need a big house for now.

However, when I thought this was good, compared with my friends, and my old obsession of I, It feels like starting “Moyamoya”. (a Japanese word that means I feel uneasy.)

For all the reason, It seems like I haven’t learned at all yet. However, I started to think that it was at the stage where I was trying to live in the “correct form for me”, little by little.

love and believe in yourself

white and pink flowers beside a canister
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

Just say a word what you want to be and believe it.

No need to be avaricious with having a big money, a lovely wife, and a beautiful house.

You just need to accept what you have now, no matter how much you need it.

And believe what you.

The Bible’s theory and Buddhist’s word “greed” are a completely different way of telling us but I felt the meaning the same. And It’s good to just believe in yourself now without being shaken. It seems simple and surprisingly difficult.

However, combine both, I wanted to acquire a way of thinking that I need now.

Like, something like back muscle pain, when you do something right posture or think differently, and change your mind. It’s always painful somewhere. And it is very easy to deny yourself and suffer from thinking about what is wrong now.

Up until yesterday, I’ve been using my unexpected thoughts that I hadn’t even thought about “accept hardships.” then, we regard it as growth and know our true selves.

I don’t know that if life has the right answer.

But once again.

Just simply love and believe in yourself more, and I can survive with these words in my life.

Thank you for reading.

Related to my article :We often give-up, Why? and how to get out

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In the conversation, think about yourself ?

photo of a man and a woman looking at each other at the bar

When you’re talking to people during conversation. Do you ever think about yourself when you are talking with others?

I used to be like that. I used to think about what I could say to make the other person like me, rather than how they would feel.

You don’t notice this until you consciously think about it. I was not able to make the other person enjoy the conversation. Because I was focused on myself.

I could not understand what the other person was thinking or feeling when we talked. I was focused on me. It was a big problem during communication.

In the end, I realized that I had been communicating in a rather selfish way. So, in this article, I would like to talk about two very important things.

  • To be aware of when conversing with people who think too much about themselves.
  • To how this affects them, and how to avoid thinking too much.

This article is about:

  • Those who do not know how to communicate well.
  • If you are always trying to go along with the other person in a conversation.
  • You want to make the person in front of you happy.

I would like to write this article for those who want to improve their communication. And plus those who are struggling with their relationships.

First of all, the most important thing in communication is;

 To “let the other person have the flower.”

This cannot be done when you are in a stage where you are concerned about what the other person thinks of you. Or in other words, when you are conscious of yourself.

For example, there is a cute girl in front of you. And in order to get her to like you. You have to talk to her. Or choose your words to go along with her.

This may seem to be an attempt to make the other person feel great. But, it is an attempt to make “yourself” be liked.

However, they try to make the other person feel good about themselves. Because you want to make them like you. But they don’t know how the other person feels or what the other person is thinking.

Because of why?

You are thinking too much about yourself. Not focusing on her feelings at all.

This is especially true for those who are thinking about themselves during a conversation. That they are communicating in the wrong way with others.

It is easy to tell when someone’s interest in a conversation is focused on “me”.

Here is some examples,

  • People who like hot weather. But then say they don’t like it to accommodate the other person.
  • Someone who says they like to exercise. But their daily routine is eating an ice cream, and watching TV at home.
  • They mount up to what others say.

These people are always thinking about how they will be perceived during the conversation. They don’t have time to think about how the other person feels. They want to be loved by themselves.

In this state, they do not know how the other person. It is feeling and what they are looking for in the conversation. I was like that. So, in my brain, I was thinking only about myself. I was wondering how I can make the other person like me.

In the past, I also used to conform to other people’s opinions. Because I didn’t want to be rejected. Perhaps due to peer pressure, I wanted to make the other person feel good.

But in reality, my subconscious was thinking like “I want to be liked!”, “I don’t want them to hate me!.”

that so, I was always pointing the finger at myself.

And as I did this, I was bound to be surrounded by people who are just like me. With these things, I didn’t realize that when I was having a conversation with someone. I was more self-centered than ever before to others.

Acting like, I showed up at gatherings I didn’t want to go to. And if someone likes something then, I like it no matter what I don’t like. I would say I liked things I didn’t like. And act as if I respected them so as not to break the camaraderie. Or the atmosphere of the place.

However, I realized that I was saying things because I was concerned about how I would be perceived.

And this caused me to feel more and more self-loathing.

I began to hate myself.

I felt that I had no choice but to retreat into my cave once again. And I refused all invitations from people. I refused to go to gatherings I didn’t want to go to.

I stopped choosing my words to suit the other person. By doing this, I found out who I really wanted to be. I realized that everything I had thought. I was doing for the other person was an attempt to force myself to be liked.

Another important thing in communication is;

To be yourself without pretending.

If you don’t like something, it’s okay to dislike it. No need to pretend.

If someone leaves because of that, it is okay to end it. As a result, there is no point if you are not in a relationship where you can be yourself without pretending.

If you are a little tired of always trying to fit in in relationships, you are having a hard time expressing your own opinions. Or you are changing your opinions to fit in with others, please try to sort it out.

By doing so, you will realize how you have been interacting with others by thinking in your brain about how to be liked by the other person first.

You will realize that you have been communicating poorly, when you thought you were trying to please the other person by being outwardly congruent with them.

Lately, I do more like myself and say whatever I want. Regardless of what the other person thinks about me. Well, on the premise that I mean I don’t say anything like the words which hurt others.

But then, I no longer feel anxious or afraid of people in conversation at all.

Once you know this. You don’t have to worry about relationships anymore.

I don’t have to worry about relationships anymore. Because I can focus on more important things than how I am perceived. That is the person is conversing in front of me.

You are having a conversation with a super cute girl in front of you. You want her to like you. But when you are thinking like that, you are not concentrating on the other person.

If you are thinking only about yourself in that way, there is no way they will like you. That was a blind spot. But once you realize that there are only two things you need to be aware of when dealing with people.

It is very simple.

woman holding white flower
Photo by Valeriia Miller on Pexels.com

Let the other person have the flowers during a conversation.

If the other person enjoys your conversation, you will be happy.

Enjoy yourself as you are without pretending.

You don’t have to think about how to be liked.

And your anxiety will disappear.

Just by being aware of these two things during a conversation. You can dramatically change the way you communicate with others. For me, this was an eye-opening experience.

If you are having trouble communicating with others, please take a look at this. I hope you will enjoy your relationships and conversations more.

Thank you for reading.

For the information, I have another blog.

It is called “Sroute66.” And if you like my article check for,,.

Love and Life aren’t going though and miserable. Why?

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We often give-up, Why? and how to get out

little boy in wheat field

I know everyone has their own way of setting goals. If you don’t have or you don’t know what you want to do in your life, you may be confused about what to do and be lazy every day. I was like a very lazy man. I didn’t know what I really wanted to be. But finally I found a way to set it up. So I would like to share my own way of setting goals.

This article is written for:

  • Those who do not know how to set goals.
  • Those who set goals but fail to achieve them.
  • Those who have a hard time keep going.

If you are having a hard time sticking with things, this article is for you.

First of all, you need to think about what a goal is for you. And, you need to think that it goes pretty deep. Setting serious goals has the power to change your life.

They are not easy to set, and if you don’t know yourself well, you will change your mind as soon as you set this goal, and it won’t last. However, the truth is that you can only know your true self by continuing to work toward that goal.

You may change your goal again and again, and it could succeed sometimes, that is what it is, but I will focus on talking about “continuing ” in this article. Because you can quit right away is easy, but you can keep doing it is quite difficult for everyone.

Since then people were able to do this as a child, but as they became an adult, forgot about how to become the real them. Because we will care about acting adults, no more kids. Like, we don’t cry in front of people, you want to ride a roller coaster but you don’t because you are a mature man, something like that.

So first, be clear and real, no lie to yourself about what you want to become.

Have you ever realized what you wanted to be like or what you wanted to do?

As adults, we have easy access to a wide variety of information, which makes it easy for us to look around and see what others have to offer, or to wonder if we are making the wrong choice, and now more and more confused.

So, let’s think back to when we were a child .

From the time you are in middle school or high school, you start to be inhibited by the scale of the world, because you are able to make a lot of decisions. The college you want to go to or the high school you want to go to, even though you tried your best to do your best, but unfortunately you could not go to the high school of your choice because you did fail, right?

Then you experience your first setback and decide to enroll in another high school with slightly lower academic standards.

Perhaps in these kinds of ages, you will have already weakened to think of yourself then, and you don’t know exactly what you want to do to the best of what you may have thought. If you think that way then, Yes, you don’t care much what you really want to be. So, you may focus on thinking of an earlier age than a high school or a junior high school. and you remember what you really want to do at that age.

For example, when I was six grade, I was like “I want to play video games! so I will finish what I don’t want to do (classes, housework, etc.) as soon as possible. and play all day long hahaha!.” You have to remember what you used to do and what you used to keep doing.

In my case, it was video games. I want to get back home from school as soon as possible and beat the slime (a monster of a video game). I also used to draw things like four-panel comic strips like Dragon Ball. When I was doing what I wanted to do, I had a clear goal. I was working for two hours straight, sometimes for an entire day without eating.

Yes, this was really my goal at the time. Some people might think that if it was such an easy goal, I could enjoy doing it, but even if it became a difficult goal, such as passing the most difficult University, such as Harvard, we need to do it with the same mindset.

The question we have why can’t we enjoy goals like that anymore?

Did I finish the game that easily when I was a kid? I doubt it. I spent quite a bit of time and a whole day on it because it was fun and I could make the player stronger and go to the last dungeon and beat the last boss. Looking back now, it seems easy, but that is only because we already know the outcome and now we interpret it as easy because it is something we could have done in the past.

The problem is that we are not engrossed in the task rather than the difficulty of the task.

That kind of serious engrossment diminishes as we grow. Or rather, it becomes harder to understand. There are so many unnecessary temptations that we get distracted by other things. And then you stop. You lose your own faith in the possibilities for that place and think that it could be anywhere else.

This is because you are stuck with an outcome you have not yet seen. You don’t know what the future holds, but you have already decided what you are capable of. This is no way to have fun. It cannot be fun because it is too difficult to get results, and it cannot be fun because it feels impossible to think about it with your level as now.

So, anything that does not produce results quickly or things are unsuccessful is considered a waste of time. This can be said for everything, whether it is continuing to think about the person you love, not giving up on your dream job, or continuing a task what you like, exercise, etc. For example, a common trivia about love is, “Don’t chase after one partner.” And, “Play with more than one to scatter your emotions and get the other person’s interest.” It makes a lot of sense. People go away when they are chased.

I can relate to that very well, because I also pull away when a woman chases me. But if I like the person, I will not escape from her though. However, even though the methodology is not wrong, I wonder if it is really good for me to scatter that great feeling and passion that I have for one person. What if I could have a feeling that the level of love would shrink.

Even if I try to love one woman and that person hates me as a result, I have already learned great love from that experience and I can create that love within myself. But if I keep dispersing my feelings to other women, I may never know true love.

Isn’t it a better experience to learn one love even if you can’t have sex, kiss, hug, or express affection, than to spread your feelings around and not get what is important? So I am thankful that I have someone I love and who gives me the energy to live, just because he or she is there and I am allowed to bring my passion to him or her. To be honest, we are also very happy just to have one partner, but when we try to use that feeling for someone else, our energy and passion are dispersed and confused. So we are forever unable to realize our true love. In other words, we can’t find a partner with whom we can truly feel passion and joy.

You cannot observe the movement of your real emotions. In this modern society, it has become the norm. And it is so commonplace. Most people don’t even realize it. I used love as an example but the same can be said for your dream and job. There are things that you really want to do, but you can’t keep doing them.You ever cannot finish it.

The reason why is because, as I mentioned earlier, you think about the outcome first and cannot enjoy a process, look for another one because you have a lot of choices and get more confused, tired. When you are doing so, also passion is gone.

And you look over things because that don’t produce results, such as the person you like not being attracted to you, a new job that doesn’t bring in any money, or a diet that doesn’t seem to be helping you lose weight.
And quit.

From this point of view, therefore, we don’t think of the actual action we are taking toward our goals as a great thing in itself. Does it have to be understood by someone or something else? Or is it a bad thing if it doesn’t produce results?

When I was a kid.

I had my best shot when I was kicking a soccer ball with friends.

I had the most fun when I was drawing cartoons.

I was at my best when I was beating slime when I was playing “Dragon Quest V.”

And I remember that, The ending of Dragon Quest( one of my favorite video games). After a soccer game. When I finished drawing a comic book. At that moment, I felt a sense of accomplishment, but after that was just like the end. It’s like heaven and earth compared to the fun moments while playing and doing.

What I’m trying to say is; The best part of life is not the result, but the moment you are playing.

You have to be able to feel this first. You have to feel that you are having fun while you are doing something. That means to understand how you are feeling at the moment. Clarify what kind of feelings you are currently experiencing when you are doing the thing. Are you having fun, are you bored, what do you really want to do, etc.?

The more attention you pay to this, the more useful information you will have to help you set goals. This is real information that comes from inside you, not from the Internet, not from social standards.

If what you are currently doing as a goal does not make you feel the same passion and obsession as when you were a child, then that goal may be a mistake.

It is very simple.

As long as you are being misled by the outside world, you will never see your real goal.

It is inside of you, and if you don’t know it, there is no way to set a goal. If you set a different goal based on different information when your deeper mind is seeking that goal, life will not be enjoyable, and you will probably end up quitting or giving up as a result.

This is true for all the people you love, all the jobs you love, and all the things you love. How you feel about your girlfriend/boyfriend, your job, or your dream is the most important thing when setting a goal.

When you need to give up or quit is when you are not serious.

If you give up when you are serious, it is like giving up your life.

In summary:

  • If you set goals and don’t continue, you don’t know what you really want to do or who you are yet.
  • You don’t need to decide what you are limited.
  • Don’t imagine a bad future, create a good future.
  • Don’t focus on the outcome, enjoy what is in play.
  • Concentrate on your inner feelings and emotions, not on information from the outside world. (Feel)
  • Enjoying what you are playing for is your real goal.

Once again, ask your heart and see.

Who you really want to be.

Be real.

Imagine yourself as your goal, and enjoy playing in the present. In a world where you are stuck in the outcome, all your wishes in the world will not come true. But if you are not caught up in the outcome, your wish has already come true.

I believe that by becoming aware of your inner thoughts, you will be able to set goals.

Believe in yourself and celebrate your goals. Every moment you do so will create the best life for you.

Thank you for reading.

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Dumped Men Hurts? How to Overcome a Painful Heartbreak

boy and girl sitting on bench toy

It is this heartbreak that comes suddenly only when you are in love and you think you are doing well with her.

To be honest, it is very painful.

Girls tend to hold it in without saying anything, and then suddenly say, “I’m sorry. I cannot be with you anymore.” She was so in love with me until yesterday, why? Why does it change? I was not prepared for it yet, so it is tough. Unfortunately, I feel that men will never be able to know all about women.

I think that after a certain amount of time in a romantic relationship, one of us may lose interest in the other, or the fights become so bad that we can’t stand it anymore and have to break up. After that, even a strong man may not even feel like eating his favorite meal without breaking his heart, and his mind may be dead for a day and he may be in a state of lethargy. Of course, there is no way he can put any effort into his work. He is in a state of blankness and absentmindedness.

In the longest case, it can last from one to three months, and sometimes even six months, depending on the person. Men, surprisingly, are unable to forget, and they always think about her for a long time, sometimes even now. I am ashamed to admit that I once even sang a song to my ex, hoping she would come back to me. Of course, she ignored me and left. I thought this is what it means to break down crying.

There is no way to heal a broken heart immediately after a breakup, and it takes time, but I would like to share with you the best ways you can do at that time to somehow make your feelings a little more positive.

This article is written for:

  • You have just had your heart broken and it is hard.

  • You can’t seem to get over the person you love.

  • Those who are in love and are afraid of being rejected.

  • Girls who want to know how guys feel after a heartbreak.

This article is for those who want to know how a man feels after a heartbreak.

First of all, why is it so painful? I think that by knowing this clearly, the pain can be alleviated a little. The reasons for the pain are as follows;

  1. You feel as if your existence is denied.

It is quite painful and hard because you feel as if your existence itself is denied and you inevitably think that you are a worthless person.

  1. You feel that she is the only one for you anymore.

She was my destiny. After a heartbreak, I always think that I can’t find anyone else to have feelings of love for any more than her. When you are in a grueling relationship, you are inevitably linear and narrow-minded. There are so many other girls out there besides her, but I feel that I will never find another girl that I can love any more.

  1. All the time you’ve spent so far is gone overnight.

A sense of loss is created when a relationship that has been built up until now is lost in an instant, without knowing why. Especially when the person says, “I’m sorry, I cannot love you anymore,” and then doesn’t respond and then eventually ghosted. If you don’t hear back from them, you may ask yourself, “Why? Did I do something wrong with them? What has all this time been about? It makes you feel empty.

  1. Memories come back. And for some reason, only pleasant memories come back.

This is really strange, because there must have been many bad memories, but only the good ones with her come back to mine. It is only after you have calmed down that you will be able to realize that you did not get along with her in this way.

  1. Tracking her with your cell phone even though you know in your head that you shouldn’t

Even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you look at social networking sites like Facebook and Instagram again and again to feel even sadder and harder. It’s hell to see her expressions and pictures of her laughing with other guys. You can’t get a response from her anymore and there is nothing you can do about it, but you wonder if you should message her or not, and you look at old emails to see if you were at fault in our past communication, and you are even more overcome with sadness again.

The thoughts immediately after a heartbreak are the peak of negative thinking, so no matter what you do, all you can think is, “This sucks…”

I know I remember that Only at such a time, I started thinking, “Can’t I get back together with my girlfriend who just dumped me somehow? I thought about it all the time in my head, and after I did stupid like unnecessary things (called her), of course no responding, she shuts me down, and finally that night I looked back at the memory of her and cried, drunk alcohol (binge drinking), and couldn’t sleep at all. I was wondering if I should contact her again to see if she will still return my phone calls. My head was full of her and I was completely trapped.

People already know that you can’t help it anymore, but you are seriously thinking that maybe you and she can reconcile somehow. The reason why you are really thinking, “Maybe I can make her up again somehow, even though there is nothing I can do about it,” is because their brains are dominated by the good memories that I mentioned earlier, and importantly they are blind to reality. The women, however, are too cold about that. Once they have made up their minds, they will not change their minds.

The only thing men can do here is to give up once and for all.

But that’s not easy to do. If we could do that, no one would have a hard time.

However, one thing is for sure: If you have just been rejected, your self-esteem may be in tatters, but your value has not decreased at all you know that. You feel that way because you feel like a failure. When you feel like a failure, your testosterone levels drop, and so because of those negative feelings come up, your self-esteem goes down and you deny yourself and hate yourself. So it is the effect of hormonal balance and you are a wonderful person who really loved her. So it is okay bro.

To realize that for yourself, you need to do is:

  1. stop self-denial.

Stop denying yourself. “What did I do wrong?” “Why don’t they love me?” “Did I get dumped because I’m a hopeless case?” “Did she get another guy?”

First of all, you have to let go of those evil thoughts that pop into your brain. If you have just been dumped, you are emotionally unstable and unable to think calmly, so there is nothing you can do.

You will be fine. I know it’s really tough right now, but I’m going to keep going anyway until I calm down. It may not be an encounter that you will forget over time, so calm down once first.

  1. pat yourself on the back for really loving her.

For all the sadness and pain you felt, you loved her, and that alone is amazing. You will know more happiness if you loved her than if she loved you. To develop self-love, you have to have a broken heart to know it for the rest of your life. It is a good opportunity to learn to love yourself by being as kind to yourself as you were hurt.

  1. Pain makes a man stronger.

After all, what is so gratifying about a broken heart is that a man can never truly grow unless he overcomes this emotional pain. Although some people may dislike the idea of masculinity, it is a necessary part of our evolutionary process. A strong spirit and body can use the backlash that comes from this rejection to become stronger. Let us love our growth more wholeheartedly. To get over it, becoming stronger is the fastest way to heal our hearts.

[There are many ways to improve yourself]

  • Cut your hair.　

  • Make yourself cleaner than ever done before. (Shave your nose and pubic hair regularly).　

  • Read more books.

  • Start exercise or weight training.

  • Stop masturbating.

  • Get more passionate about your work.

  • Correct your posture.

  • Buy new clothes.

Self-improvement is the greatest way to recover from a broken heart.

What was really painful is a miracle that happened to make you grow even more. Don’t take it as a bad thing, but transform it into a good force. If you have been truly hurt by a love affair, you have learned to love someone with all your heart.

Whatever form that may take. When you do turn it toward yourself, this time, you will be able to love them back.

Men are inevitably vain and proud. But you don’t have to be a perfect man. Even if you make some mistakes, use them as a springboard to do what you can now and become a little cooler, so this heartbreak won’t be a bad thing, and you will be able to grow even more from now on.

Men who are afraid of being rejected should also keep trying and it is okay to fail. Even if you sink, it is worth it to be rejected. If you don’t get dumped and just give up, it is not worth it.

In fact, I didn’t know this for a long time before I got dumped. It is better to be rejected. A man who has never been dumped or had his heart broken will never know the pain and will never know the true joy of love or the essence of a woman.

What I can learn from my heartbreak is that I now know how I used to live my life spoiled by my girlfriend (or others) at the time and I want to be a muscular man. Before I was dumped, I didn’t do any exercises or muscle training, just sit and watch TV, worked just to do what I had to do because I thought it was good enough to have some money with non progress, and had no ambition to become more like her or to do this. There were many things that I finally realized what kind of man I wanted to be after being rejected. I think that realizing this is a huge plus in my life.

Breaking up with a girlfriend is such a hard time. This fact will never change, but I felt like I knew where I really wanted to be.

From now on, you will become a very nice man.

You will be reborn as a super nice guy who understands other people’s feelings. When times are tough, you can heal your wounds and gain confidence by using the law of reversal and putting your strength into self improvement. You will stop relying on someone else to make you happy. You will be able to create it by yourself. You will be able to believe in yourself. You are the hero of your life, and you will gain more experience and become cooler and cooler, and your best life will unfold.

That is why you lost your love.

Thinking of it that way, you will gradually calm down and think that you will be able to handle it. A lost love in the 30s for all sexes is unexpectedly tough. You are too old to know if there will be a next time, and you are worried about it. However, by keeping your mind positive, even if only a little, you will be able to make the most of it in your next relationship.

It is hard, but you will get over it.

There is a view that you can only see after you get over it. To see it together, let’s aim to be good men!

Thank you for reading.

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Lonely everyday, How dating apps to make a girlfriend

man and woman kissing

If you are a man living abroad or in the U.S. and If you are finding it hard to meet people, I have good news for you. I have used various matching apps in the U.S.

This time, I would like to introduce some of the best apps for someone who is a man from other countries with my own experiences.

 

This article is written for:

  • Those who are looking to meet someone for a long term abroad.
  • Those who want to have a girlfriend in another country.

This article is for all men who want to meet and have fun with girls abroad.

First of all, there are many dating and matching apps out there, but there are three that I have used and found to be good for men who are from abroad: Tinder, TanTan, and Hinge.

Tinder is a matching app that everyone knows.

The features of this app are that you will be matched more reliably than other apps, and girls will reply to your messages comparatively more often than other apps. So, although it probably wastes a lot of unnecessary communication with scams, if you can spend it then, you can meet as many people as you want.

The women who use this app range in age from 20’s to 50’s and include cute girls, model level girls, and of course, plump girls. You can meet various types of women.

You can also specify your age range and area, so you can set up meetings with women near where you live.

However, you have to be careful because there are a bunch of catfishing and scam accounts. One thing to note here is that most of the model-level accounts are hookup accounts. If they probably say hi at first contact and right away to tell the man like “my number is ××××××, hit me up!”, So, it’s pretty much easier to recognize them.

Or If you think like I don’t give a fuck any of the women who are hooking up with you, then just have fun. It may be a fun night by intentionally hooking up with a woman, but be careful because you may get into money troubles or crimes. If you are too busy with work to go out anywhere at all, I would like you to give this app a try.

To be honest, the probability of meeting someone is definitely higher than the other apps listed below. I recommend the dating apps I am recommending here as better than the others because they have a higher chance of matching.

I have also used Bumble, POF (Plenty of Fish), Coffee Meet Bagel, and OkCupid, so this is a comparison to those apps.

  • I thought Coffee Meet Bagel was pretty good, but you have to pay for bagels(you need to have a lot of bagels to send messages.) and the matching rate is low.
  • Bumble is a good choice for women, but I removed it because I think men still prefer to be aggressive rather than wait. But, I think it is a good app for those who used it once and didn’t find it a good fit with Tinder. The reason is that after liking someone, you can wait for a woman to choose you and start a conversation with her, so there is less wasted time for men. However, the matching rate is not as high as Tinder.
  • As for POF, it doesn’t make much sense if you don’t pay, and you get a lot of messages but no replies even if you sent it back to them. And there are a lot of scam accounts.
  • I also used OkCupid for a few months. It is completely free, and the good feature is that you can go to a meeting. After messaging quite a few times, I met up with a woman at Starbucks, but no such woman showed up at all, and I remember having an experience of receiving suspicious messages. Because this app is completely free, there are also many scam accounts.

For the above reasons, Tinder is the best app for me.

[Tinder]

Tinder is also a free way to meet people.

The result is that you can get this many likes and matches in one night. After all, if you don’t enjoy using an app, you feel like you’re wasting your time, but I think people use Tinder because it keeps them from getting bored. At this time, I was matched with two American women.

Next, it is called “TanTan.”

TanTan is an app like Tinder from China. The usage is almost the same as Tinder. And I recommend it to Asians men because you can match with a lot of Asians girls and the matching rate is higher than Tinder. The range of girls is also broad, just like Tinder. One difference is that 90% of the girls are Asian. There are also many cute girls.

You can also specify your age range and location, so you can set up meetings with women near where you live as well. There are similar catfishing problems and a lot of scam accounts on this app as well, so be careful of the same things I described for Tinder.

Particularly obvious is that such catfishing women will always try to get information from you to contact you via WhatsApp account or number or other apps. And although it has a phone feature, they will not want to have a phone conversation with you. It is best to avoid such accounts. If you use TanTan with the above in mind, you have a pretty good chance of meeting someone.

You can be like; Matched! → Messaged several times → Dated that day

There was a case that I ended up going on a date that day.

Many of the girls on this app are from China and are looking for friends who have just arrived in the U.S., so you can meet them relatively quickly. American women may not be available. Most of the women I met were from overseas, Asian women from Thailand, China, Taiwan, and Singapore.

[TanTan]

It’s a great way to meet Asian women in the U.S.

With this many matches in one night, the app is quite gratifying for men who love Asian women and living in the U.S., where it is very difficult to meet people. After you message a few times, you can ask them about their Instagram, etc. and become friends. However, you will get a lot of matching and reply messages, but most of them are scam accounts. Unfortunately, you will also spend a lot of your time.

The way to spot them so you don’t waste too much time is telling them you want to call them at first or ask them after a couple messages you received from her.

If they refuse, chances are good that it is not a legitimate account anymore. Maybe, Better to save up your time for others like your right girls. Well, it is up to you whether you continue or not. I just do not recommend it to you.

 

Finally, let’s talk about Hinge.

Hinge is a little different from the other apps I mentioned.

Tinder and TanTan are based on photos alone, so you can choose whether or not to include detailed information, but this app allows you to make various settings and improve your profile to increase matches.

Compared to the other two apps, in my personal opinion, the women are less attractive. The reason is that there are many women who are looking for serious encounters, and because there are fewer accounts for one-night stands or hookups, due to the large number of people who are average looking, and it may be harder to find the kind of woman you are looking for.

Instead, it is recommended for men who are looking for serious encounters. The matching rate is also still not that great, but matches are made even on the first day.

[Hinge]

She was a 32 year old woman.

Compared to some apps that don’t meet or even match after 3 months, this app is quite good. However, in my experience, I got the impression that messages were not returned very often.

In this case, I was matched, but the women did not reply.

I don’t know if this is a so-called scam account or not, but it’s pretty disappointing not to get a message back even if we are matched.

That’s all I have to say.

In summary:

  • Tinder and TanTan have a high matching rate and you can meet really real women. However, you need to be careful because of the high matching rate and the number of scam accounts.
  • The point to be careful is whether they want your information and not you.
  • Tinder has a lot of American women to meet, while TanTan has a lot of Asian women from overseas.
  • Hinge is good for men looking for serious dating. It is a good app for those who are not focused on looks, as there are not many model-level women that what you’re expecting. However, for some reason I don’t get many messages back after matching.

Meeting with women abroad is a courageous move.

You may wonder what this article is about when I say this, but I still think that men should be aware of women and they will lean on you by pursuing their own goals diligently without focusing on women.

Confidence is the most important thing. All men, We must have it.

I used to think about women so much that I could not concentrate on myself at all.

However, the matching apps took away and damaged my self-esteem at that time.

The thing is, as much as you can meet a lot of women, there will be many cases where the opposite will not work out.

If you are considering using a dating app, I would recommend the following; I want you to know that raising your self-esteem. I want you to do this first. It is dangerous to use dating apps without a sense of acceptance of who you are, that you will be okay with the dating apps. The world of matchmaking is a very lawless place, and to be honest, women’s egos are also very mean to men, it is vice versa.

I was a weak man, and I lost a lot of self-esteem because of it. There was a time when I really thought I was worthless. I strongly recommend that you give it a try, if you are already okay with these situation like mentally shunned, or if women say terrible things to you or neglect you, just try it out and see what happens.

However, I wanted to share this experience with you because there are many ways to meet women, and I hope you will consider this as an idea to make friends in your life. It doesn’t matter if you do it on the Internet or on the street.

You can become one if you keep on increasing your opportunities. And it’s also very good for both parties to meet and experience more and more women and to be able to entertain them.

I hope that we can continue to improve each other’s manhood together and this article will be of some help to you. If you are considering using a dating app, I would be happy if you would try it and share your thoughts with me.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

To relate an article: Dumped Men Hurts? How to Overcome a Painful Heartbreak